Chapter 3
Chapter 3
My breath caught. “
What?
No!”
My mind reeled. I couldn’t believe what he’d just said. And I’d never heard him swear before.
“You’re lying. Don’t lie to me, Lennina. Tell me the truth; are you fucking your Digger? Is that why you won’t fuck me?”
Was he
serious?
I felt the blood drain from my face. I hadn’t taken things that far with Malvolio yet, so because I’d said no, he thought I was sleeping with someone else?
“No! I’m not sleeping with anyone and I’ve already told you the reason I didn’t—”
“Lies!” He had a wild look in his eyes. “Fucking bitch! How could you drag my reputation through the mud like this?”
Is that all you’re worried about? Your reputation?
I sure as hell didn’t care about his wealth or his reputation. And then there was the fact that I wasn’t doing anything to ruin it anyway.
He tapped his fingers impatiently on the table. “Never mind... I will tell them you were too young. To immature...”
What?
“Yes. That’s a plausible scenario... I can do that... No one needs to be concerned...” He kept up the tapping.
I shook my head. Now he was talking to himself. I gave up trying to reason with him and sat there looking at the patterns in the tiles on the floor of the cafeteria while he kept ranting.
I realised I was clenching my fists so hard that I was digging my fingernails into my palms, so I made a conscious effort to stop.
Why is he doing this? Why am I putting up with this?
I asked myself.
I looked around us. Everyone had left the room. At least there was no one here to hear his accusations.
“Just go, Malvolio. I need to go back to work and I don’t want to speak to you right now.”
“Don’t fucking tell me what to do!” he shouted. The veins in his neck stood out and his face was red. “You have no right! I don’t have to put up with this rubbish! We are through, Missy! Do you hear me?”
I blinked.
Through?
I thought.
As in, over?
I stared at him. Then I thought,
Missy? Seriously? Who even talks like that? How old are you, really?
Through.
It was so unexpected. I didn’t know how to react. I think I stopped breathing. I made myself take a deep breath.
Four weeks wasn’t much time to get to know someone, but with the number of times I’d seen him and the number of Vid calls and text messages we’d shared, it seemed like six months had gone by. I thought I knew him fairly well. I was wrong.
He glared at me, waiting for a reaction. He was being so dramatic about it and probably expected me to cry and beg his forgiveness or something. I did nothing. In fact, I felt nothing. It surprised me, but I didn’t feel like crying. Didn’t even feel sad. There was an empty void where my heart should’ve been. Was that normal? Surely I should feel
something
. Was there something wrong with me?
Why did I feel numb? I hadn’t been prepared for him to break up with me, so shouldn’t I be upset? Shouldn’t I feel something? The last time someone dumped me, I’d been devastated. I’d thought Jace and I had a long future together and he’d thrown it all away. He’d thrown
me
away.
I shouldn’t have let Malvolio in. I should have known it would end badly.
Malvolio’s brows were drawn together. He seemed to be more confused than I was. Could it be that he didn’t know what to do? This wouldn’t be the reaction he was expecting and definitely not the one he would’ve been used to. He probably had visions of comforting me as I cried helplessly and begged him to take me back. And of him telling me he forgives me and then him giving me ‘another chance.’ Or something like that.
I folded my arms across my chest and leaned back in my seat. I was
not
going to play the role he wanted me to.
I should never have fallen for him. I should have stuck to my plan and stayed single. Relationships always led to heartbreak.
He stared for a while longer, sort of stuttered, then regained his composure. “Well, I can see that this news has devastated you so much that you’re speechless...”
I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Maybe I was a bit harsh...” he continued, not reading my body language at all. “After all, you weren’t brought up in the right sort of environment and I need to take that into consideration... Yes... I must be more careful... more understanding...”
My eyes widened. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Was he serious? Was that what he really thought of me?
I sucked in a breath. I didn’t want him to change his mind and give me another chance. “No. It’s okay. I understand. Let’s just part on good terms...”
That felt false. We weren’t parting on good terms, but I thought saying it would keep things calm and maybe I could get him to leave. I really wanted him to go, but if he thought it was his idea, he would be more likely to do it.
The way he could go from calm to furious in an instant was scary. I didn’t want to do anything to make it worse.
If we broke it off, he could find someone else quite easily, I was sure. Someone who was more like him. Someone who would fit in with his friends.
And I could go back to being on my own. I could do that. It was the best way to keep focused on my career goals.
He stood and paced up and down and my eyes followed him, waiting to see what he’d do next.
Then he turned to me, his expression unreadable. “Maybe you could convince me to have you back again if you swear to me you will end it with your Digger this afternoon.”
I felt myself tense up. “What?”
I wanted to scream. I wanted to punch something.
You really are serious, aren’t you?
He stepped forward, arms outstretched. “Just promise me you will tell him it’s over, and I won’t inform Katoa of this... this...
scandalous
behaviour... This... breach of company policy.”
Crud.
He was totally serious about this.
He’s lost it...
I wasn’t even going to justify that with an answer. My stomach twisted. I was still finding it hard to breathe. He couldn’t really believe I was cheating, could he?
I thought about what he was actually saying. He was threatening me. Blackmailing me, really. If I stopped having an affair with Javolo, he wouldn’t turn me in — wouldn’t tell The Company I was in a relationship with my Digger. If I stayed with Malvolio, I wouldn’t be fired... It was straight-out blackmail. Made worse by the fact that I wasn’t guilty of having an affair with Javolo in the first place.
I could see the disgust on Malvolio’s face, but I was way past trying to tell him he had it all wrong. He wouldn’t even let me finish a sentence, anyway.
He looked directly into my eyes and leaned forward. “So, do I have your word?”
I looked at him in disbelief, trying to calm my erratic heartbeat and my breathing.
No, you don’t.
After staring at me a few seconds longer, he clapped his hands and rubbed them together. “Right. Okay. It’s settled then. You may break What’s-his-name’s heart, but your heart belongs to me. It will always belong to me.”
Will
always
belong to him? I shivered inside at the thought.
Without warning, Malvolio pulled me from my seat, took me in his arms, and kissed me on the lips, which didn’t stir any of the emotions it should have, then left the cafeteria with a dramatic turn and swish of his hand over the sensor to open the door.
What just happened?
The door swished shut behind him and I stood there for a few seconds with my mouth hanging open. I breathed a sigh of relief when it finally hit me that he was gone, then my heart clenched in my chest.
What if he comes back?
My breath caught. I needed to get out of here. As I walked toward the door, I glanced at the time on the digital display on the wall.
Dammit!
I was ten minutes late. I hurried back to my cubicle and apologised to Javolo as I ran the necessary checks for him to start work. How much trouble would I be in for being this late?
There was nothing I could do about it now. I’d have to deal with it later.
I tried to understand what had happened. Why didn’t Malvolio listen? Why did he dump me just like that? Why did he think he should be giving me another chance? I didn’t even want him to! Why was he so convinced that I was cheating on him?
I ran my hands over my face.
Focus.
I had to get my mind in the right place so I could do my job.
Why didn’t he just leave after breaking it off? That would have been easier. I would have preferred that it stay that way. So why didn’t I say more? I should have told him I didn’t want a second chance. So why didn’t I tell him?
And why did I feel nothing?
Get back to work!
“Cal?”
“Uh, yeah?”
“Am I set to go?”
I checked my screen again. “Um, yes. Head back to where you were before lunch.”
“Yes, Boss.”
I couldn’t help giggling at that.
Then my thoughts returned to Malvolio and I wanted to cry.
How could he treat me like that? Why wouldn’t he let me explain, or even talk? Had I even finished a sentence at the end? He hadn’t listened to a word I’d said — or tried to say. He didn’t even need any input from me at all.
“So, I turn right here, right?”
Shit.
I looked at the screen for confirmation. “Yes.”
I pushed Malvolio out of my mind and managed to get Javolo to the sight safely. I had to concentrate on the job. I still had a few hours ahead of me.
But I couldn’t help the words that kept circling through my mind when I thought of him breaking up with me.
Everyone leaves.