Chapter 9

Georgia

I spent the next morning making lists, deliberating over the decision I’d already told Max I made last night. Obsessive overanalyzing didn’t stop after I came to a conclusion; it only meant I shifted from deciding how to handle a situation to wondering if I’d made the wrong choice. It wasn’t something I could stop. The problem was… I was having a hard time seeing any outcome other than me getting hurt at the end of this summer.

However, one of the many benefits of hiring my best friend to work in my office was that I had a built-in therapist whenever the need occurred. Maggie strolled into my office at 11 AM, assuming we were going to go over the latest graphics she’d been working on for an upcoming ad campaign, but right now she wasn’t going to get to show me even page one of what she’d brought with her.

Ready for business, she pushed a four-inch-thick deck of papers across my desk and looked up at the frown lines cutting into my forehead. “Don’t worry. It won’t take that long. It’s only a couple of concepts, but I did a few different colorations of each, so that’s why it’s so many pages.”

“I told Max I would have sex with him.”

Maggie blinked a few times. “Can you repeat that?”

I rubbed my temples. “He has an adorable little furry dog, kneels down to play with his three young nieces, and he wipes his stupid, sweaty head with the hem of his shirt, and underneath are rock hard abs. It’s awful.”

Maggie’s brows furrowed. “Yeah, sounds it. I like my men to kick puppies, be mean to children, and have soft, mushy beer bellies.”

I dropped my face into my hands. “He also makes me laugh—like, all the time—and he brings me chicken soup when I’m sick. Chicken soup!

And drugs!

”

“You lost me with that one, honey. Did he bring you crack? Is that why you’re so upset?”

I shook my head. “What am I going to do when Gabriel comes home, Mags?”

“Oh…” She nodded as if everything made sense for the first time. “You’re afraid you might grow feelings for Max, and that will complicate things when Mr. I-Want-an-Open-Relationship floats back into your life.”

“I love Gabriel, Maggie. I know you’ve had your doubts about him since he pulled what he pulled, but I said yes when he asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. You know I don’t rush into things until I’m sure where I want to go. Last year I was absolutely certain I wanted to wake up next to him every day and have a family together. I’d agonized over whether it was the right time for me, whether Gabriel was ready, and if he was truly the one. I didn’t have any doubt.”

Maggie studied me for a moment before leaning forward in her seat. “What is really freaking you out here? The fact that it will be tough to say goodbye to Max when the time comes, or that you might not

want

to end things with him, which would mean the decision you made to say yes to Gabriel a year ago might not have been the right one?”

I rubbed my temples. “I have a headache.”

“That’s because you’re wound up so tight.” She grinned. “I bet sex with Max would fix that. Something tells me you’ll be a bowl full of jelly when that man is done with you.”

I sighed. “I’ve never had sex with anyone I wasn’t in a relationship with.”

“I know, honey.” Maggie reached across the desk and patted my hand. “But don’t worry, I’ve done that enough for both of us. So this is a subject I can help with.”

I smiled sadly. “When I’m with Max, I’m so caught up in things that I don’t think about anything else. But the minute he leaves, all the guilt and questions set in. I feel like I’m cheating on Gabriel.”

“Okay, let’s start with the simple stuff here. You are

not

cheating on Gabriel. That fucker is in England boning Brits. He’s the one who forced this situation. You can’t cheat on someone when you aren’t in a relationship.”

“I know I wouldn’t be technically cheating, but my heart still feels like it is.”

Maggie shook her head. “God, I can feel the tension radiating from you. You’re making me feel stressed just sitting in the same room. I think you need to put the meditation you learned a while back to some use so you can relax, and maybe things will become clearer.”

“I did meditate! For an hour this morning. That’s why I was late getting in.”

Maggie arched a brow. “So this is calm you?”

I took a deep breath and heaved a loud sigh. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Do you remember when you came home from that meditation retreat? You told me about these sessions you went to for over-thinkers and said they suggested implementing some rules to make decisions less stressful.”

I nodded. “The serenity six, they called them.”

“What were they?”

“Umm... There was an acronym. What was it again?” I tapped my finger to my lip. “Oh, I know. STEP UP. S was for spontaneity, to work on being more spontaneous. T was for timeline. They suggested setting a timeline to make decisions and move on. Thirty seconds for little things like what you should have for lunch. Thirty minutes for bigger decisions, and to the end of the day for the biggest stuff. E was for exercise, which is self-explanatory. P was for present, to work on being in the present and not looking back at things. U was for ubhaya padangusthasana, which is a yoga balancing pose that they suggest you do when you’re under a lot of stress because it’s supposed to center your core, and the last P was for people. They suggest only associating with people who aren’t over-thinkers when you’re struggling.”

“Okay, well…I didn’t remember any of that, and honestly I just zoned out while you were explaining half of it, but the parts I heard sounded useful. Like setting a timeline—I’m sure you see this as a big decision, so maybe give yourself until the end of the day today, and then don’t look back. You’re either in or you’re out. If you’re in—stay in the present. Don’t think about Gabriel. He’s not here, and he’s not part of today. And I definitely think you could use some spontaneity. If you decide yes on Max, make a commitment to have fun with him and try new things. If not, you and I will make some plans. I’ve always wanted to jump out of a plane.”

I smiled. “I don’t know about the plane part, but I guess the other stuff is good advice.”

“You are great at making decisions, but sometimes circumstances change. You need to loosen up and be able to roll with the unexpected punches. It’s okay to just go out there and have fun without knowing what tomorrow will bring.”

Reluctantly, I nodded.

Maggie leaned back in her chair and stretched her arms out on the armrests. “Look at me. I’m the normal one now.”

I snorted. “Let’s not go that far. Are you still sleeping with Aaron’s lawyer?”

“We did it in a conference room in his office, right before Aaron was coming for another settlement meeting. He sat down in the exact spot where my bare ass had been not ten minutes earlier. I’m pretty sure if he had paid attention, he could have recognized my ass-cheek print on the glass tabletop.”

“I rest my case.”

Maggie took a deep breath. “Alright. Well, are you ready to get started? We’re on a tight deadline with the printer.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Two hours later, we’d finalized the new ad campaign, and Maggie stood to head back to her office.

When she reached the door, I called after her, “Mags?”

She turned back. “Yeah?”

“Thank you for talking me down.”

“My pleasure.” She winked. “Now I only owe you a million more for all the times you’ve helped me. I’ll be back this afternoon to hear your decision.”

• • •

My supplier meeting ran late, so by the time I got back to the office, people were already leaving for the day. Ellie, my assistant, was putting her jacket on as I walked by her desk.

“Hey, Georgia. I left a delivery that came for you in your office.”

“Oh, okay. Thank you.”

“And I summarized all of your messages in an email. Nothing sounded urgent, but I’m sure you’ll check.”

“Thanks, Ellie. Have a good night.”

I expected to see a brown cardboard box on my desk, the usual delivery of samples or something from Amazon. I was surprised to find a white gift bag, decorated with ribbons. Curious, I didn’t even take off my jacket or sit down before I tore into it.

Inside was a plastic gift box with a pad and pencil set. Upon closer inspection, I noticed both had suction cups attached to them. I wasn’t quite sure what I was looking at. A sample of some sort sent in a pretty bag by a supplier? There was an envelope, so I sliced open the back and slipped out the card.

Georgia,

It’s waterproof. No more slips and falls.

Looking forward to Friday night.

X

Max

Damn it, that Max. Did he have to go and be so great? While a gift like this seemed like it should go in the pros column, there was also a reason to put it in with the cons. Any man who took time out of his day to find me a water-resistant pad and pencil was someone I could grow attached to. Now, if the bag had contained a black-lace teddy, that would actually have seemed safer—that type of gift screamed

summer fling only

.

So I sat at my desk, staring into space for the next half hour, doing what I did best—analyzing and overanalyzing. Eventually a knock at my door interrupted my thoughts.

Maggie held up two of those tiny bottles of wine you get on an airplane.

“Decision time. I’m going to assume you haven’t come to one—or rather, you haven’t settled into the one you told Max you already made. So I’m here to rip the Band-Aid off. The wine will help take away the sting.”

She plopped down in one of my guest chairs, twisted the cap off one bottle, and passed it to me. Maggie held her bottle out to me to clink. “To being lucky enough to sit in a beautiful office with my best friend whose biggest stress right now is whether to fuck a hot hockey player.”

I laughed. “Thanks. When you put it like that, it seems a tad bit ridiculous how much anxiety this is causing me. Especially after this…” I pushed the gift bag to the other side of the desk and explained the gift as she looked it over.

Maggie put her hand on her lower belly. “I’m pretty sure my ovaries just fluttered. Do you still have that picture of him with no shirt on that I sent you from his phone? That might help lower the sensation to

right where I need it

.”

I snorted. Even if I was stressing, sharing it all with Maggie at least made it fun.

“So what’s it going to be, girl?” She looked at her watch. “It’s six thirty. I’d say we’re past the end of the business day. Are you going to have a summer to remember or up your battery subscription on Amazon?”

I closed my eyes. My brain still told me to keep my distance from Max Yearwood. Though my body said my head needed to be examined. But for the most part, I’d done really well for myself by using my brain and making logical decisions, hadn’t I? Though not with Gabriel. So maybe it was time to do like Maggie said and have some fun without knowing what tomorrow would bring…

My phone buzzed on my desk, interrupting my thoughts. I swiped to see who had sent me a message.

Max.

Perfect timing.

He’d sent a selfie from the plane. He had a small duffle bag on his lap, with Four’s tiny head peeking out the top while he leaned in and held his finger to his lips, giving the universal

shhh

sign. His dimples were on full display. It was impossible not to smile.

I turned the screen to show Maggie. “He’s sneaking Four on the team plane to Boston where his nieces live, so they can see him.”

She grabbed the phone out of my hand and looked down at the screen, shaking her head. “I wanted to have you come to a decision on your own. But I’m afraid you’re going to chicken out. So now I’m going to give you my opinion. Have I ever steered you wrong?”

I shook my head.

“Do it, Georgia. He knows the deal. You’re both going into this with your eyes open. I have no doubt you’ll enjoy the shit out of this man, but you also might learn some things about yourself.”

I took a deep breath, picked up my little wine bottle, and drank the entire thing in one gulp. “Okay. I’ll do it. This is going to be one interesting summer.”