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Cassidy

September seventeenth, two thousand and twenty-one

Seven o'clock in the evening and two minutes

Life is full of choices, ups and downs, tears and joy, hatred and forgiveness. Love and illusion.

"Cassie, aren't you coming down to eat?" said my aunt as she knocked on my bedroom door.

"Of course I am, Alicia! Come in." As soon as I said that, she walked in

"Well, Austin and I are waiting for you," she said.

"Has Austin come home from training at school yet?" I asked.

"Yes, he came home all sweaty. I told him to take a quick shower, I'm not that flashy. Just as I was about to call you, he came down smelling nice." She told me, Austin has a habit of perfuming himself even at bedtime.

"As usual, right? I'm just going to change, and I'll be right down." I said, walking into the closet.

"Okay, sweetheart!" She gave me a kiss on the cheek and left.

Alicia is the best aunt anyone could ever have! She has a seventeen-year-old son. I'm a year younger than him, because my mother also got married very young, as soon as she got pregnant. Alicia had him very young, at about eighteen, she's single and has lived here in London for ten years. I think it's great to have a thirty-five-year-old aunt who looks twenty-five. Alicia is beautiful. Many people say I look like her, but honestly, I don't think so. My aunt is beautiful, unlike me.

Austin, my super cute cousin, is a sweetheart. When they came to London, we only saw each other a few times, and yet he's my best friend. I always confide in him. Whenever I felt sad, I would call him, he could be busy with anything, but he would always put aside what he was doing to talk to me. In a way, it was good to come here because I'm going to be close to him, and what's better, I'm going to study at the same school as Austin. I hope this University School London is as good as they say. Yes, new city, new school, new friends, new enemies, insufferable boys and girls who think they own the place.

This is my life since I arrived here at the end of the year. Today is the start of classes. My first day at University School London. I'm in my third year. My parents had the crazy idea of sending me to this freezing country to spend some time with my aunt Alicia, but it's been good, which means I still haven't met the person who's going to torment my life here in London. You know, I'm scared of what's going to happen. I don't get on with people, or rather it's people who don't get on with me, because I can't take any more abuse.

At my old school, when I passed by, people would stare at me, and whenever I saw someone whispering and laughing, I always thought it was me and that's why I distanced myself from people. I always had a few friends. The first friends I made at my old school in Brazil were nice girls; Athalia, Bya, Thifanny, Tiffany left, and soon after, I started a friendship with a girl called Maria. She was super nice. We had a lot in common.

And I'm not afraid, I'm insecure about what I might face on the first day of school, insecure about what people will think of a Brazilian girl here. People are laughing at me, I don't know. I don't think I'm a pretty girl. I wanted to be like the girls in the movies, pretty, to have a boy who would love me forever. But I know that only happens in movies and stories. I think I should stop dreaming so much. I also remember that when someone said I was weird, I felt terrible. So many things that happened to me made me give up on my own life. I cut myself so many times because of it, and that was one of the reasons my parents sent me here, to see if I could stop it.

They were very disappointed with what I did, but they also told me not to care what people say or do, because I'm beautiful, the most beautiful girl they've ever seen. My parents are some of the most important people in my life. I can do anything stupid, or if someone hurts me, I know they'll be there, to defend me, to give me a little tug. But I know it will all be for my own good. As I said, I arrived here at the end of last year. I'm not going anywhere, I'm waiting to see what happens at school. I don't cut myself anymore, and the scars on my arms have disappeared, they don't even have marks. I always made small cuts. I know all this is crazy, but you know that you only feel relieved when something else makes you feel stronger?

That's how relieved I feel, and that was my mistake, my problem, but now I don't want to talk about it anymore, no more bad things. I have to think positively, it's the best thing to do. Now I can't let myself be put down by stupid people, people who don't deserve my attention. I can feel bad, but I don't show them that. If they mess with me, they'll have to put up with me too, and a lot!

I finished getting ready, put on some black leggings and a purple T-shirt, with one sleeve falling to the side, made a ponytail and went downstairs. Alicia and Austin were still waiting for me. When he saw me, he picked up the rice spoon and Alicia slapped his hand, which made me laugh.

"Oh... Wow, I thought you weren't coming down here!" said Austin, calming his hand.

"Ouch, you thought I'd let you eat everything yourself, you glutton!" I said as I sat down.

"You look beautiful, Cassie," Alicia said.

"Hm." I said as I put my plate down.

"Huh? Wake up brat, my mom just told me you look beautiful, and all you do is say 'hm'?" said Austin, trying to imitate my voice.

"Shut up, you pain in the ass!" I said, sticking my tongue out at him.

"If you stick out your tongue, you want a kiss!" he said, blowing me a kiss, and I ended up grimacing.

"Go away, you ugly bastard! Thank you, Alicia! Satisfied?" I said, looking at him.

"I am now, please... Aunt Alicia to you, Cassie, if I have to call you Mom, you have to call her Aunt." said Austin. And I laughed.

"And, Austin! Stop being a pain in the ass, did someone kick you in the ass to be so pain in the ass today?" I said, and Alicia laughed.

"Kids, as far as I'm concerned, it's not playtime yet!" she said, still laughing.

"Auntie, Mom!" we both said at the same time.

"What's wrong?" she said.

"We're not kids anymore," said Austin.

"Well, at least I'm not a kid anymore, I can assure you, but Austin, I don't know, you'll find out!" I said, and he looked at me with wide eyes.

"I defended you, saying we weren't kids anymore, and you say I am?" he said, and I ended up laughing.

"But you started it!" I said, justifying myself, while Alicia was still laughing.

"Okay, fine!" he said with a suspicious smile on his lips. I hate that smile of his. I'm sure he'll come up with something. I forgot about it and, while I was finishing eating, Austin got up and went to get a jug of juice from the fridge, so far so good, the worst was when he poured all the juice over my head and it was so cold.

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