Chapter 4: Willa

I had eaten the food Damen had brought to me despite trying to convince myself not to. But ultimately, my stomach won out. I had run my hand through my hair and felt the matted, dried blood that stuck to it. I must have really banged it hard, or rather Damen had banged it hard when he tackled me. Either way, it was no wonder I was starving. I had spent hours healing, which is why it also didn’t surprise me when I felt exhausted by the time I was done eating.

Thoughts about being drugged or poisoned bounced around the back of my mind, but for some reason, I just didn’t feel like that was going to happen. Still, I pushed myself to stay awake, dragging myself back up on the bed to start working on the tapestry. It didn’t take me too long to get the nail pulled out of the wall, but my victory was short-lived when I realized I didn’t really know what I was going to do with it. I had never picked handcuffs before.

But how hard could it be?

I sat back a started working on the lock, but I was soon struggling to keep my eyes open. I didn’t even know when I fell asleep. When I woke up, it was dark in the room, the only light coming from somewhere behind me. I sat up, wondering where the blanket that covered me came from, as I looked around the room.

I saw him sitting in the same chair as before, but he had moved it back again, keeping distance between us, which I was grateful for. His head rested on his hand, and he seemed to have dozed off. I scooted up on the bed, positioning myself back against the headboard again, and waited.

I took the time to take a better look at him. It was hard not to admire his good looks. He was tall and well-built, with broad shoulders and slender hips. His dark brown hair was just long enough to allow the natural wave to take over.

I sighed and looked away, trying to ignore the pull that I was feeling toward him. Trying to think of anything else, I realized I needed to relieve myself. I chewed on my lip as I eyed the door that I could see leading to the bathroom, contemplating the humiliation of having to ask to use the toilet. I was lost in my concern when I heard the click of metal on metal and felt the resistance on my wrist release. I looked over and met his eyes. He tipped his head toward the bathroom and turned back to the chair.

I slid off the bed quickly and escaped to the bathroom. I relieved myself and took my time washing my hands. I looked at the bath longingly, wondering if I could get away with showering. I decided against it. Mostly because I didn’t want to be naked in a room where I didn’t trust the lock. Instead, I found a washcloth from under the sink and used it to wash my face and another to try to get some of the dried blood out of my hair. I used my fingers to pull some of the tangles out before I exited.

He looked up and nodded his head back toward the bed. “Sit.”

I moved to sit, choosing a spot at the foot end of the bed. As I waited for him to say anything, I resigned myself to playing his version of twenty questions. I didn’t want to know anything about him. Honestly, I didn’t trust how this stupid mate bond would make me react. But I had to learn something. I still didn’t even have any idea where I was.

The cold, distant expression had returned to his face as he regarded me from his chair. He still hadn’t said anything, so I decided he was waiting on me.

“So, who is Damen to you?” I asked, breaking the silence.

“He is my beta,” he replied.

Beta? I knew lycans used the same hierarchies werewolves did, but theirs weren’t predetermined like ours were. A werewolf’s hierarchy was determined by their aura. The stronger and more commanding the aura, the higher the rank. The only thing that would change that was to become a rogue. If you had no pack, you had no rank. Lycans didn’t work that way. They could fill whatever rank they earned or were entrusted with. And they didn’t go rogue. It was a bit frustrating not knowing where my captors fell or what they were capable of.

“What pack are you from?” he asked.

“I don’t have one,” I said honestly. “I was raised as a rogue.”

His brow furrowed. It must have sounded like a lie to him.

“You don’t smell like a rogue,” he commented. “You don’t have the aura of a rogue,” he followed with force.

I shrugged. “Maybe you’re just special. You know, the mate bond and all that.”

“Perhaps,” he said quietly. “Why were you in lycan territory?”

“I was curious about the lycan village.” It wasn’t a lie.

“Why?”

I gave him a warning look this time.

He sighed and tipped his head. “Forgive me. After you.”

“What is your name?”

He held my gaze intensely, like he didn’t want to miss any part of my reaction. “My name is Ferrin.”

I froze. My heart rate spiked, and for a moment, I couldn’t breathe. Finally, I croaked out, “As in Ferrin Elswick?”

He nodded once.

I shot up from the bed, backing away from him, panic and rage and hatred rising like bile in my throat. Tears started to burn my eyes as another realization hit me — this bloody bastard was my mate. I was fated to the lycan king. My worst enemy.

“Willa,” he said as he moved to stand.

“Why does it matter that I’m an alpha?” I demanded. My claws started digging into the palms of my hands as I gripped them into tight fists. He saw the blood dripping from between my fingers and he tried to move toward me again.

“Willa…”

“Why?” I yelled, stepping farther away.

“We’ve been searching for a female alpha werewolf.” I opened my mouth to speak, but he rushed ahead. “But we never found one. They are extremely rare. As far as we could tell, the last one died thirteen years ago in a car accident.”

I couldn’t hold back the rage-filled laugh. “She didn’t die in the crash. She was murdered,” I spat, “by a lycan.”

“Who told you that?” he asked as he raised his hands in a pathetic attempt to calm me.

“No one. It’s what I told them,” I replied. “When they found me next to my mother’s dead body.”

His face paled, and he stopped dead in his tracks. “What?”

“We were run off the road when she was on her way to a meeting with YOU,” I continued, fighting the shift that was threatening to take over. “She was pulled from the car by a fucking lycan who proceeded to rip her throat out as she tried to protect ME.”

“Willa, I…”

I took two steps toward him. “You are the only one with the authority to sanction her death,” I bellowed. I wanted to tear him apart. To take his life the way he so easily decided to take my mother’s. He was right there in front of me. But I couldn’t. I wouldn’t survive. I may take him out, but guards would come rushing in, and I’d be dead within seconds. I couldn’t leave my dad like that.

But also, there was a tightening in my chest, a sharp, gripping pain at the thought of killing my own mate. My whole body was vibrating with rage and despair. All this time and I couldn’t bring myself to avenge my mother.

“All she wanted was peace.” I fell to my knees. Ferrin moved toward me, and I scrambled backward. “Stay away from me.”

He recoiled. A look of horror and pain on his face. Finally, he turned and left without another word.

I collapsed to the floor, a sob wracking through my body. The tears broke through, and I lay there, crying as pain shredded my heart. I couldn’t avenge my mother’s death. And I could never love my mate.