Chapters

How long do I have to live?

Let's talk about Jardel

Babylon

Heitor Casanova I

Heitor Casanova II

The end of a cycle of almost ten years I

THE END OF A CICLE OF ALMOST TEN YEARS II

Talking about the CEO I

TALKING ABOUT THE CEO II

A new disastrous encounter I

a new disastrous encounter II

A conversation about oral

A CONVERSATION ABOUT ORAL II

Sebastian Perrone I

Sebastian Perrone II

Hazard I

Hazard II

Did you come? I

Did you come? II

Why do I love you so much?

Why do I love you so much? II

Mandy Novaes

Mandy Novaes II

Salma I

Salma II

Lady Bongiove I

Lady Bongiove II

Mandy Novaes I

Mandy Novaes II

Salma I

Salma II

Lady Bongiove I

Lady Bongiove II

24 hours I

24 hours II

24 hours have not yet passed I

24 hours have not yet passed II

Alan C and the start of the 48 hours I

Alan C and the start of the 48 hours II

48 hours I

48 hours II

The end of the 48 hours I

The end of the 48 hours II

Allan Casanova I

Allan Casanova II

Do I Hate a CEO? I

Do I Hate a CEO? II

Miss Connor has just arrived I

Miss Connor has just arrived II

We aim and don’t always hit the shot I

We aim and don't always hit the shot II

JARDEL I

Jardel II

I'm Not Gay, Barbara I

I'm Not Gay, Barbara II

Hi life, hi luck! I

Hi live, hi luke! II

Disqualified I

Disqualified II

I don't know how to behave I

I Don't know how to behave II

I’m Sorry I

I'm Sorry II

I made a mistake I

I made a mistake II

Bárbara + Heitor I

Bárbara + Heitor

POV Heitor I

POV Heitor II

Milena Bayard I

Milena Bayard II

Say thank you! I

Say thank you! II

I accept I

I accept II

My heart is in North B. I

My heart is in North B.

Are you a doctor too? I

Are you a doctor too? II

I don't know if I'll kill you now... Or later I

I don't know if i'll kill you now... Or later II

Now! I

Now! II

What are you doing here?

Celine Casanova I

Celine Casanova

We need you I

We need you II

Shall we discuss the relationship?

Tony I

Tony II

You're crazy, Barbara!

We’re Fucked I

We're fucked II

I hope you have a good lawyer I

I hope you have a good Lawyer II

POV Heitor I

POV Heitor II

POV Heitor I

POV Heitor II

Then we will be a happy couple... And without children I

Then we will be a happy couple... And without children. II

I'm not dancing in that I

I'm not dancing in that II

Beg, Barbara I

Beg, Barbara II

To our first perfect night! I

To our first perfect night II

I'm crazy about you I

I am crazy about you II

He is the love of my life! I

He is the love of my life! II

Sebastian and Barbara I

Sebastian and Barbara II

Because certainties are lacking I

Because certainties are lacking II

An unforeseen event I

An unforessen event II

Disqualified Mor I

Disqualified mor II

Cross your fingers for me I

Cross your fingers for me II

The white panties I

The white panties II

I worship the body that bears it I

I worship the body that bears it II

I'll be right back I

I'll be right back II

I have this right I

I have this right II

A ring I

A ring II

I told you so, Anon I

I told you so, Anon II

Deep feelings I

Deep Feelings II

Maria Lua does not have a father I

Maria Lua does not have a father II

“A” Ben I

"A" Ben

Mrs. Perrone I

Mrs. Perrone II

The last kiss I

The last kiss II

The prostitute I

The prostitute II

Are you dating Sebastian?

I'll go with you

Babi, Salma and Ben I

Babi, Salma and Ben

I’m Sorry I

I'm Sorry II

My medicine I

My medicine II

POV Heitor I

POV Heitor II

Hector and Ben I

Hector and Ben II

Shall we make love now? I

Shall we make love now? II

You are my sunshine I

You are my sunshine II

Bon Jovi I

Bon Jovi II

Welcome, sunshine! I

Welcome, Sunshine! II

POV Salma I

POV Salma II

Not true! I

Not true! II

Thank you for loving me I

Thank you for loving me II

What the fuck did you do, Babi? I

What the fuck did you do, Barbara?

Why do you have to be so sensible? I

Why do have to be so sensible? II

I want you I

I want you II

Can I kiss you? I

Can I kiss you? II

Words don't come easy I

Words don't come easy II

I Don’t Want Anything Anymore From You, Barbara I

I don't want anything anymore from you, Barbara II

Sorry to inform you, Mr. Casanova, but it's contagious I

Sorry to inform you, Mr. Casanova, but it's contagious II

A helping hand from afar I

A helping hand from afar II

The truth about Beatriz Novaes I

The truth about Beatriz Novaes II

Ben got a job

Letting go of Salma’s belongings I

Letting go of Salma's belongings II

The diary I

The diary II

You are not like the others

And I Hope You're Sober To Hear This I

And I hope to you are sober to hear this II

You have a daughter I

You have a daughter II

Us and the Maserati I

Us and the Maserati II

And my... I

And My... II

Twenty minutes I

Twenty minutes II

There is an account I

There is a account II

Anya and Breno I

Anya and Breno II

I Won't Let Them Touch My Daughter

I won't let then touch my daghter II

I will not be conniving I

I will be a not conniving II

We're Gonna Get Rich I

We're gonna be a rich II

For love I

For love II

Why is everyone here? I

Why is everyone here? II

She is ours, Hector! I

She is ours, Heitor II

Poor Angel I

Poor angel II

You're Fucked! I

You're fucked II

I kill and die for you I

I kill and die for you II

Anon's I

Anon's II

POV Heitor I

POV Heitor II

There are ties that are not planned I

There are ties are not planned II

Who are we going to kill first? I

Who are we going kill first? II

Nicolette I

Nicolette II

Sebastian and Heitor I

Sebastian and Heitor II

You Won't Believe It I

You want believe it II

About us I

About us II

Cosmopolitan I

Cosmopolitan II

POV Heitor I

POV HEITOR II

Don’t Be Kind, Disqualified I

DON'T BE KIND, DESQUALIFIED II

I love you I

I love you II

I've never seen anything shine so bright I

I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING SHINE II

Name the Price and I’ll Pay I

Name the price and I'll pay II

Daddy

You're kidding, aren't you? I

YOU'RE KIDDING, AREN'T YOU? II

North Barbara I

NORTH BARBARA II

Bárbara Novaes Perrone Casanova I

BARBARA NOVAES PERRONE CASANOVA II

Choose a side I

CHOOSE A SIDE II

About animals I

ABOUT ANIMALS II

Everything is dead!

I gave the...

Amore Mio I

AMORE MIO II

Who is it? I

WHO IS IT? II

Face to face I

FACE TO FACE II

Freak I

FREAK II

Last breath I

LAST BREATH II

I Love You, Disqualified I

I LOVE YOU DISQUALIFIED II

EPILOGUE I

EPILOGUE II

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The end of a cycle of almost ten years I

Hello, Ana... How long!

I felt her tight hug and returned it. I liked Anna so much. And I missed you these two years.

Come in... Please.

She pulled away and I walked in, getting to my feet.

Always feel at home here, Barbara. You know how much I love you.
Thanks. - I said sitting down.
I'll make us some coffee.
No need... I'm coming. I'm just passing through. I have an appointment right away. – I lied.
Please... Let me get you some coffee.

I nodded, knowing this could be important to her.

Ana went to the kitchen. Surely the boys weren't at home, as it was very quiet in that huge house.

I looked at the pictures on the wall and the framed pictures on the shelf. Everything had Jardel's image... And some of us together. I was still inside her house, as a souvenir.

I saw my smile stamped and our kisses in different angles for photos and I was wondering if I was happy in those moments, next to him. Because I remembered the detail of each photo, where it had been taken, what happened before and after.

Yes, maybe I was happy, because I loved him in the beginning. But then everything was so bad that I think the good times were erased from my memory, along with the love I thought I felt.

It didn't have to be like that... – I took the photo and observed his image, with his eyes fixed on mine and a happy and mischievous smile, of that good-natured and funny boy who was once in that body – We could have given right.
And it would have worked, Bárbara – said Ana bringing me a cup of black coffee without sugar, the way I liked it – If it weren't for his adulterous father leaving.
Do you really think that was the cause of everything, Ana? – I asked seriously.
I... I think that's where it all started.
I keep wondering if it really was that... Or something else. After all, he always used marijuana.
But he was upset when his father left.
However, he never went looking for him afterwards... At any time. He liked adventures... Challenges. Maybe the drug was it for him.
The end of my son was tragic... – she took the photo from my hand – And I always try to remember him like this: healthy and happy.
Me too. - I lied, because the bad times stood out and there was nothing left of good memories.
I know he hurt you and did you so much harm... - She took my empty hand, which wasn't holding the cup - But he loved her... Until his last breath. You were the only woman in his life.
No... I wasn't the only one and we know that.
He didn't know what he was doing anymore when he got involved with those drugged sluts. He always loved you, Barbara. Ever...
And if you loved so much, would you have done everything you did? – I asked aloud, more to myself.
I don't doubt his love for you... I never did. I still remember his joy when he brought her here for the first time. His eyes had never sparkled so much... The smile was so sincere...
Where are the boys? – I asked, trying to change the subject.

Even though I was at his house, I didn't want to talk about what happened. And maybe that's exactly what made it take me so long to go back there and see Ana, even though I liked her. The fear of reliving everything I tried to forget for two long years.

They left... One for each side – He smiled – They are good boys, believe me.
I dont doubt. What happened to Jardel will not necessarily happen to them. I imagine how grown they are... And beautiful.
Yes... They're all I have left. I was a little possessive of them – she smiled – But they understand all my zeal.
And Paul?
Paulo only attended the funeral. Then he went back to that woman and we never heard from him again in those two years. He doesn't even look for the boys.
Maybe it's better that way, Ana. You can't beg for love or try to fix something that's already broken. You can even paste ... But it will never be the same.
It took me a while to realize that. But unfortunately I couldn't forgive him. I gave him everything a wife and a woman can give... I did my best. And yet he left me... Just like he left his children.
I know it still hurts ... But I believe that one day it will pass... - I squeezed her hand affectionately - Nothing lasts forever... Least of all sadness.
Have you... Have you met anyone else?
Not. – I confessed.
Why?
I... I want to focus on work... Take a specialization course...
You need to move on – she looked into my eyes – There is no harm that lasts forever… As you yourself said. You need to give yourself a chance to meet someone.
It's not time.
You can't be afraid, Barbara. Not all men will make you suffer. You are young, beautiful... A strong, hardworking woman... You deserve someone special... Who takes care of you... Who gives you all the love you deserve, my dear.

I put the cup of coffee on the coffee table and stood up:

I... I just came to give you a hug and see how you were doing – he smiles – I need to go.
I would like you to stay longer. But I won't force you.

Seeing his image everywhere was suffocating me, like someone was squeezing my throat and taking my breath away.

I hugged her tightly.

I wish from the bottom of my heart that you are very happy, Ana.
There's no way to be happy if I've lost a piece of myself – she said in my ear, with a weak voice and I imagined she was crying – Seeing her brought me a bit of him… Of good things.
I... I need to go... - I wiped the tear that threatened to fall from my eye.

I opened the door and took a deep breath of the street air, trying to recover.

Barbara, have I already thanked you for everything you've done for my son?
I don't want thanks, Ana.
No woman would ever do what you did. It was strong... It lasted until the last minute beside him. And I know you didn't have this obligation. He was mean... He was cruel... And violent. And still you didn't leave him. Because he knew that wasn't really him...

No, that's not why I didn't leave him. I stayed out of fear, out of cowardice, out of impotence. In the end, I no longer cared about who the real Jardel was. I just hoped for it to end at once... The way it had to be. Little did she know that I celebrated her son's death. But yes... Despite everything, I stayed until the last breath he took... Because he didn't let me go.

She just smiled, pretending that everything was exactly the way she imagined it.

Bárbara, I want you to be very happy.
I will be. – I spoke hopefully and positively.
Why do I think we'll never see each other again? - She asked.

Yes, we would not see each other again. Because I wouldn't look for her. That was really a farewell... To everything that reminded me of Jardel.

Be well, Anna. I love you.

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