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Chapter 7: A Bad Hair Day

I am sitting in a leather armchair. The room is cold, despite the pleasant weather outside. I am a bundle of nerves, on the verge of exploding at any moment.

I did my best to clear my mind during those thirty minutes of being rigorously interviewed for the job I've been longing for over the past few months.

However, my nervousness is not without reason. I blame them, all of them.

Alice, Nathan... John.

They all caused an unprecedented mess, and I feel increasingly lost, not knowing how to act or what to say in situations where I would have known exactly what to do before.

My whole life has been timed, controlled down to the smallest detail. That is until I moved to Atlantic City. Now, I feel like I've lost control of everything.

If my best friend is hiding secrets from me, like secretly talking to my ex-boyfriend, I think it reflects how deceived I was to think I knew everything that was happening in my life.

I couldn't confront her. I just remained paralyzed, watching the phone ring, and seeing Nathan's name appear on the screen over and over again. God, what torture.

I still don't know how I managed to keep my sanity in that situation.

And God knows how much I wanted to answer that call. Oh, He knows.

But I kept my composure. After all, I don't know how I would react to what I'm also hiding from Nathan. I still don't know if he should know, and therefore, I don't want to have one more thing to worry about, even though it's been weighing on my mind for the past three days.

And it makes me tremble. I feel my hands sweat and I wipe them on the fabric of the navy blue dress I'm wearing. I put on a blazer to hide the slightly daring neckline, and now I'm struggling with the buttons that keep popping open on their own.

Beth has been kind so far, although she sounds tough at times. Still, I hope I did well enough to secure this position. It's a great job as a writing assistant, far beyond what I was expecting to achieve.

The only strange thing is that she hasn't provided any information about the hiring company since she's just an intermediary. From the first contact we had over the phone, Beth insists that the information will only be given when I sign the contract.

It sounds risky, but the location, along with the salary and other benefits of the position, sounds irresistible. It's almost like... it's too good to be true.

I see Beth return after being away to take a phone call that lasted long enough for me to think she was discussing my performance in the interview.

She looks more serious than before, and it makes my heart freeze. I'm too anxious to be positive, and all I want to do is run away. But I don't want to seem crazy, so I pretend everything is fine.

I've been doing this for days, I'm good at pretending. I learned from the best, my parents.

"Sorry for the delay, Hana. My boss was eager to talk to me," she starts rearranging some papers on her desk, separating one of the sheets.

Beth fills in some information and pushes it towards me, along with a purple pen for me to fill in the required details.

"Is this it? Did I pass?" I ask, with the excitement evident in my voice, making her smile.

She nods affirmatively, making me almost jump for joy.

"I'm sure you'll do great, Hana. The writing sample you submitted is impressive," Beth continues reviewing my writing right in front of me, and I can hardly believe what her words are saying.

I take the contract eagerly and look at the details, curious to know the name of the place that will be my first job ever. However, the smile on my face slowly disappears as I read the name at the top.

Desire Magazine. The same company he works for. Nathan Torres, you bastard!

I don't know what he intends with this. If he decided to recommend me to regain my trust, if this is part of the game he and Alice are playing by keeping secrets from me. I don't know what to think anymore, except that one thing is right: I'm sick of this!

I stand up from the chair with the contract in my hands, and Beth stares at me in astonishment, unsure of how to react to my outburst of anger.

"Hana, what's happening?"

"Was it Nathan who recommended me for this job? Is he the one talking to you since I arrived?"

"My boss requests discretion, Hana. You should just consider the good opportunity and be a part of Desire," she says with the utmost nonchalance as if she doesn't understand the reason for my resentment.

"Tell your boss to be a man and come find me in person," I say before storming out of the HR building.

Anger takes hold of my body and makes me think of what kind of craziness I could commit to make Nathan stop thinking he can fix what he did. He acts as if revealing his infidelity on graduation night is something I can easily forgive. He behaves like a lunatic, believing that his pathetic phone calls will be enough to earn my forgiveness.

And now this. Trying to get me a job as if I'm some pitiful person in need of his care.

It's pathetic, and the more it reinforces in my mind, the more I feel the urge to confront him. So, I get into a taxi without a fixed destination and reflect on what I should do.

I feel my phone vibrate in my purse, and I don't need to make much effort to guess that it's him calling me, just like he has been doing for the past few days. Or he's sending about thirty messages asking to meet and talk things through, trying to find a way to justify his jerk behavior.

I don't answer. I don't want to hear another one of his rehearsed apologies. I want him to face the consequences of his actions. So, I use the app we used to share to check Nathan's schedule. I see that he has a lunch appointment, and I'm incredibly close to the restaurant. The opportunity couldn't be better.

I know him, and I know he's ridiculously punctual, so he's probably already on his way. And as I make this decision, I know I could be making a big mistake. But I need to put an end to this. Nathan can't think he'll still be part of my life after deceiving me for a whole year.

His schedule gives me all the information I need. I know which table he reserved and the password that guests present at the reception.

I don't hesitate to ask the receptionist to take me to him, fueled by the anger I feel as I replay all the absurd situations in my head over and over again.

She guides me to the table where he is with his guest, and he spots me from afar. He stands up, startled, probably wondering how I found out he would be there. However, the man accompanying him also stands up when he sees the shock on my ex-boyfriend's face.

And just like that, my conscience returns with common sense, and I realize how terrible of an idea this was. I can't believe I was so foolish to ignore this possibility, but now I feel more stupid than ever.

The man turns towards me, and the shock on his face resembles the disbelief on my and Nathan's faces.

That man is John Kauer. Even more handsome than that night, just like he's been in my dreams these past few days.

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