Chapter 38 - Three broken hearts ...

Blanca

“Blanca, you have to understand that I was thinking of my heir. A wolf talking to ghosts is unheard of.” He looked away again and I sighed. It was unheard of that a werewolf had special powers. We were fast and strong and could shift, but that was about it.

“Why did you bully me all those years? Why not just leave me be?” Tears filled my eyes as I asked him. We talked about all of this before and he gave me similar answers, but it felt as if he could be really honest with me this time around. I didn’t want there to be any secrets, but that worked both ways. If he told me the truth, then I had to tell him the truth. He sighed before turning around and sitting beside me.

“I was an idiot. I thought that you and your gift would make me weak. My only defense was to try and break you down enough so that you wouldn’t want me. Don’t you see, Blanca? I was trying to save us both.” It was painful to hear, but I could see he was telling me the truth. “Bullying you was easier. Everyone was doing it.” His eyes filled with shame. “I thought that if I treated you like that the moon goddess would see we couldn’t work and choose someone else as my mate.” He looked away and sighed deeply as if he was finally letting go of something heavy he had been carrying for a long time.

“Then Ezra came into our lives and I saw how happy he was making you. It hurt so damn much, Blanca. Even more than rejecting you. I couldn’t stand seeing you with him … And on your first date … I thought you … Anyway, Ezra told me that you didn’t. That was when I knew that I could fix things between us.” I nodded as I thought about my first date with Ezra and how in love I felt at that moment.

I didn’t feel that love anymore. After accepting Carlo, I only felt concern for Ezra. Our talk had opened some of the wounds, but it also healed them. Wounds I would have carried for a long time if we didn’t talk about it. I was glad that I could openly talk to Carlo about it all now. It made it easier to accept my decision. Carlo’s eyes glazed over slightly and I knew someone was saying something to him through the pack link.

“Ezra is outside. He has asked if he could see you before he goes.” Carlo looked pained and I nodded.

“I would like to speak to him alone, if that’s okay?” I had some things I needed to say to Ezra that I didn’t necessarily want Carlo to hear. I didn’t want to hurt anyone any more than I already had. Carlo frowned, but he nodded and I left his office. Ezra was standing outside the pack house with his backpack over his shoulder. His eyes filled with happiness the moment he saw me, but it was quickly replaced by sadness moments later.

“I just wanted to say goodbye.” He looked away and I could feel his pain. He wasn’t just hurting because he was leaving. He was also carrying the pain of the rejection.

“I’m sorry, Ezra …” I wanted to explain my decision to him, but he held up his hand and stopped me.

“You don’t have to explain. I understand, but I can’t stay here and see you with him, Blanca. It just hurts too much.” We both had so much to say, but neither of us could say it. It was the most painful moment I had ever had to endure. It hurt even more than Carlo’s rejection. I did it to protect Ezra and myself, but here we were looking at each other for the last time.

We stood there for what felt like forever, but when Ezra turned to walk away, I couldn’t stop myself. We just had too little time! I couldn’t let him go!

“Ezra!” I called his name and when he turned around, I ran straight into his arms. Even though I didn’t feel our bond, I still felt our friendship. He had shown me what life as a rogue looked like and I couldn’t imagine letting him go back to that life! I gripped him tightly as tears streamed down my face and I heard him breathing in my scent.

“I have to go.” He pushed me away and shifted before running. I stood looking at the empty clearing until I felt Carlo’s arms circling around my waist. Tears streamed down my cheeks as he picked me up and carried me back inside. He carried me up the stairs while I cried into his neck, breathing in his scent. I didn’t even think of how painful this must have been for him. All I could think about was that three hearts were broken tonight.

It hadn’t really mattered who I chose, all three of us would have been hurt either way! Carlo put me down on the bed and pulled me into his arms. He held me there until I stopped crying and, without speaking a word, we just lay there together. Being in his arms was good. It helped heal some of the pain I was feeling. It helped to ease some of the guilt I felt. Both for leaving Ezra and for choosing Carlo. I didn’t know if I would ever get over what happened here tonight, but I knew that someday it would get easier. It had to.

I fell asleep in his arms, and woke up some time during the night. I had just gotten into the shower when I felt him coming into the room. I had to move on from this pain. If I was ever going to build a life with Carlo, I had to move on. I turned around as Carlo stepped into the shower and I saw the hunger in his eyes. I saw the pure unadulterated love he felt for me and I stretched out my arms.

I wanted him. I needed him inside me.