Chapter 17

Namjoon's POV..

Initially I was conflicted about sending the care package to Avah. We had decided it was a one night thing. Nevertheless to say it was the best night of my life. If you discount performing on stage that is. There was something about it, something about her. Like we were connected somehow by something unknown to us. She felt so familiar to me that I couldn't explain it. I was intrigued by her I know but who wouldn't be.

I never know what to expect when it comes to her. If unpredictable was a person, it would be her .Since she gave me the best night of my life, sending a care package was the least I could do. Well, that's what I convinced myself anyway. I sat on my bed trying to come up with some lyrics for our next album but all my mind did was go over what happened last night again and again. Like a broken record.

I kept seeing her, thinking about her and wishing I could see her. But I knew better than anyone, it was not a good idea. If anyone knew what happened last night, I would be in trouble and her reputation would be ruined.  However it was worth it. I don't feel guilty or regret. We shared what most people have done so many times without judgement. So who gave anyone the right to judge us, we are adults.

The knock on my door brought me back to reality.

" Come in" I said

Jungkook strolled in followed by Jimin and Taeyhung. These guys can't live without me. We were in a large resort filled with everything they may need but here they were in my room again. I was used to it though.

" What's going on?" I asked pretending to scribble on my notebook.

" Hyung , we are bored" Jungkook said

"Bored? There are tons of things to do here"

" We have done some but we are bored, so came to find you" said Jimin.

" Have you seen Hyung Jin?" I asked

" He is busy playing video games " answered Taeyhung

Typical of Jin....

" There's nothing to do in my room either"

" But you are here"

A knock interrupted our conversation.

" Jungkook, get the door please"

In a minute Jungkook was back.

" Who was it?" I asked

" Hyung, remember the girl we saw at the gym.. the one who was eating while exercising" he explained

My mind immediately went to her. She was here, outside my room. I was so excited that I almost ran to check, that is until Jungkook said " she said she was at the wrong door"

I couldn't help but feel disappointed. What was she doing here? Knocking on the wrong door ...who was she looking for if not for me? Did she know someone else here?

Another possibility was ,she said that because she saw Jungkook instead of me. I'll have to ask her about it. I didn't know when I'll get to see her again and ask her. I hoped it was soon.

I knew her room number but I couldn't go uninvited. It would be weird and uncomfortable. We didn't know each other that well enough.

" Let's go outside" I suggested

"Okay" they agreed.

The rest of the day passed doing nothing but chilling. The next day we went to the gym with Jungkook. After I spent the rest of the day reading. I didn't realize how late it was until a knock interrupted my reading. How come the members didn't come to my room today? It was so unlike them. Or did they go to Jin's room. That's probably it.

I lazily got out of bed and opened the door. I didn't expect to see her. She was standing outside my door. Don't get me wrong I was delighted to see her but something felt off. She was sad.

" Can you get a drink with me"

Her voice was desperate. She was begging me and not asking. I wondered what had caused her so much pain that she had to come looking for me. A total stranger. I accepted her request. What would I gain from saying no? I wanted to see her anyway, so it didn't matter what was the reason that got us together.

" Okay, give me a minute"

I changed quickly and followed her to a secret hideout. We have been in the resort for a while and I have never seen this place before. We'll use this as our hideout from today.

We ordered food and drinks. She ate very little. Something was definitely bothering her. It was so obvious for anyone who has eyes. I wondered how to help her open up to me.

" I feel tired" she said out of nowhere.

The tired sigh that followed told me everything I needed to know.

" What happened?" I asked

" I know you have a lot on your shoulders, so I don't want to add my problems to yours"

It was so cute for her to say this.

" I'm here to listen to you remember? " I said

" Tell me what has you feeling so sad. Are you doing alright?" I asked, concern evident in my voice.

" I don't know" she whispered

It was so sad to listen to her. My heart broke. She sounded so lost.

" I know you're wondering why I asked you for a drink?" She asked

" A little"

I wasn't curious though. I wanted to spend time with her in any way or form I could get .

" One of my patients died today" she finally told me what was disturbing her .

I didn't speak for a while. I was shocked to hear the loss of her patient. It's not everyday someone comes to you with this type of problem.

" I'm sorry for your loss" was the only thing that came to mind.

" Thank you"

" You are a doctor?" I asked a dumb question. She literally told me she was a doctor.

" Yea I am."

Instead of asking another dumb question I asked if she was the first patient she lost.

"No she is not"

If she wasn't her first patient, why was she so sad? I know to some degree even doctors mourn their patients but this felt personal.

" Why does losing this particular patient make you feel so sad?"

" She was ten"  she stammered " just ten..."

" She was so young" I commented.

" Precisely, that's why it's weighing so heavily on me" she said

" Do you blame yourself?" I asked her

"To some degree yes" she answered honestly

" I think that is very normal"

" You think so?" She asked

" I know so. She was under your care and when you lost her it felt like you failed her" I explained

" I mean that is true .....she used to tell me wants to travel the world" she choked

Her eyes started to feel up with tears as I watched. I have never felt so hopeless in my life .

" You can use my shoulder to lean on anytime" I said.

She cried for a long time. Telling me of her patient's aspirations and dreams. Her guilt was because her patient didn't get to live her life to the fullest. This made me think of my life. At least now I could say I have attained most of my dreams. Not all though. Her cries broke my heart into a million pieces.

I hugged her. She needed it today. After a while I couldn't hear any sound coming from her. She literally cried herself to sleep. I carried her to my room. I put her in bed and she started searching for me. So I joined her in bed and hugged her. I slept with her in my arms.