Chapter 36

I followed Namjoon to the underground parking lot. I know some of you are confused as to why we would go to a parking lot. I'm confused as well. I didn't want to be in his presence but when have I ever gotten what I wanted? He walked slowly to try and match my pace. One step of his long legs amounts to four small steps. As you can imagine, I was fighting for my life. Damn, his long legs.

I was almost panting since I had never taken exercise seriously. He, on the other hand, lived in the gym. From the back, I could see his muscles. What I wouldn't give to run my hands over them once again. But if wishes were horses beggars would ride. An English proverb I used to use too many times in my compositions in school.

As I followed him I wondered if he had a driver waiting for him here. From what I could recall, he doesn't drive so I concluded that a driver would be present. We stopped at a black car. He reached into his pocket and removed the car key. Wait..... wait a damn minute, was he about to drive?

" Do you drive?" I finally asked as my curiosity was killing me

" Yeah," he shrugged.

Ladies and gentlemen, Namjoon played us. The driving jokes we used are now useless. He could drive. Why didn't he say anything? He opened the passenger door and stepped aside for me to get in. After he went on the driver's side and settled on his seat.

From the shock, I hadn't tied my safety belt. Namjoon glanced at me and the corner of his lips lifted for a small smile. He grabbed the belt and secured me in place. The smell of his cologne hit me hard as we were close. My eyes met his and for a split second his eyes lowered to my lips.

I was dying to kiss him. I was but before I knew it, the fog in my mind lifted and I remembered why it was a bad idea. As for Namjoon, he noticed the change in my body and he decided to retreat. He started the engine and drove off. He didn't drive too fast and neither too slow.

The way he worked the steering had me having some 18+ thoughts. Thoughts I didn't want him to know I had. Because I was on the edge and if he pushed me a little bit further, I would give up on this resolve and jump into his arms. His hands kept flexing and relaxing as he drove me home.

He asked for my address and I gave it to him without thinking. I was on pins and needles. Being this close to him was doing things to my body. I wanted to beg him to touch me, just this one's, and maybe we can both move on from this relationship. However, I didn't want to jeopardize his career. He has worked too hard to let a woman ruin his life. Even if that woman was me.

We arrived outside my building in no time. He parked in the outside parking lot and switched off the car. From his demeanor, he had a lot of questions.

" I missed you" he whispered

If it weren't quiet in the car, I would have missed his confession.

"I tried to find you. I hired investigators in your country but none of them could find you. I got anxious every time I got bad news because I thought something happened to you" he continued

He was indeed worried about me as I was worried about him.

" I was there. I was occupied with work most of the time" I said

" You could have texted me on Instagram"

" And say what Namjoon? Tell me, what could I possibly say to you?"

"That you are alive and well"

He wanted assurance that I was safe. I didn't think he would be anxious. It was an oversight on my side.

" I didn't think we had that kind of relationship," I said even though my heart was breaking.

He sighed. I knew I hurt his feelings but it's better to leave things as they are.

" I'm leaving. See you next time Namjoon. Take care of yourself" I said quickly as I ran out of the car.

If I had stayed any longer, my armor would have started cracking and he would see inside. I was just a small girl who was still in love with him even though I tried to stop myself. I still loved my Namjoon. But, he didn't need to know that.

I rushed to my house and closed the door behind me. Seeing him again brought back memories and feelings I was not ready to unpack. Even when I was sleeping, he haunted my dreams, threatening to take over every part of me.

The next few days I went to work. I was so busy but we kept texting with Jungkook. He kept sending me cute animal emojis that made my day. If only my love for Namjoon was as easy as this.

If only we were not so different. If only we were not from different worlds.

Jungkook later invited me for karaoke night. He informed me the rest of the members would be there so I should be prepared. He meant I shouldn't panic. I wondered what I should wear for such a thing. Being surrounded by the members will make me nervous but I wanted to enjoy myself and see how they are away from the cameras.

I had a day to choose. I asked Seri to help me out. I didn't give her all the details but she helped me choose an outfit.

The day passed so fast that I only had an hour to prepare. I was doing my makeup. I decided to go with a more natural look. When I was satisfied with my makeup, I got dressed and accessorized.