Chapter 44
I spent the last two days in the hospital taking care of Namjoon. I dressed, fed, them a sponge bath, and gave him fluids. Anything he needed, I was there to assist. He woke up yesterday but he was extremely drowsy so he didn't say much other than he needed to use the bathroom. You can imagine how that went, I'll leave it to your imagination.
Staying this close to him was not good for my poor heart. My feelings for him kept creeping up even though I kept them locked tightly somewhere in my heart. Watching him sleep every night wasn't helping. Seeing him so vulnerable raised the lover instincts in me to take care of him. Even if I tried to stop myself I was failing miserably.
He was worming his way back into my heart. No matter how tall the walls were, he passed them easily and reached where I didn't want him to. What was I supposed to do now? I had already put an end to this relationship. How was I supposed to go back on my word? I hate going back on my word. My word was my bond.
My hand reached for the messy strands of hair on his forehead. I moved them slowly while my mind was occupied elsewhere. He is handsome. Three years have passed and he hasn't changed one bit. His body was still the same. Yet I have changed. I have aged while he stayed the same.
Time passed and I was too preoccupied to notice my patient was awake. He chose to stay silent so I barely noticed. I let out a soft sigh before I rose from my seat intending to leave the room. When I took a step away a hand grabbed my arm and pulled me backwards. I fell on his chest with a thud causing him to groan.
" Don't go" he whispered and put his arms around me holding me in place.
His request made my heart skip.
"Don't go"
It was more of a command than a request even though he whispered. When did he wake up? How come I didn't notice? I was a terrible doctor. My entire job is to be observant and I didn't notice such a trivial thing.
My hands softly caressed his chest as I thought of how I would wiggle myself out of his hold.
" Namjoon," I called
" mmh"
" How are you feeling?" I asked
" Better"
" I have to check your condition. Can I please do that?" I asked
" As long as you won't leave"
" I promise"
His hold on me loosened allowing me to leave his warm embrace. I stood up straight and fixed my hair and clothes. If anyone came in and found me in this condition, I would have a lot to answer for.
I took a step towards the table and he stopped me again. His arms wrapped around my waist and his head rested on my back.
" You promised" he accused me so cutely.
He was behaving so cutely. My gentle giant. His behavior made me smile. I missed him a lot.
" I did. Do you see that table" I pointed at the table
"Yeah,"
" I'm going to take my stethoscope and check you out" I explained.
He thought about it for a while before he let me go. So cute. I picked up my stethoscope and listened to his heart and lungs. Once I was sure he was okay I put it away.
" Don't ever do that again" I said
" I'm sorry" he apologized looking away.
" Promise me" I insisted
" I will never do it again. And you have to promise me something too"
"What is that?"
" You'll never leave my side for whatever reason," he said
Was he seriously bargaining with me right now? His health over my presence. Surely. Damnit Namjoon.
" Namjoon,..." I began
" You have to otherwise I won't promise anything as well"
I was in a tight spot. I needed him to be healthy both physically and mentally. He was blackmailing me with his health. Smart Namjoon, I'll give you that.
" Fine" I sighed in defeat.
" Good"
My eyes shifted from my hands to his face and I found him looking at me. Our eyes met and for the first time, I allowed myself to see the love in his eyes. I remember asking myself what he would look like if he was in love. I have my answer now. His eyes sparkled.
As we stared at each other the sides of his mouth moved and he gave me the most beautiful smile. His dimples are so beautiful. Was there anything ugly about this man? Before I could stop myself, I leaned closer and pecked his lips. Before I could do even more, I suddenly recollected myself and moved away.
I left him alone. My face was red from embarrassment. What did I do? Aaargh! Avah you fool!
namjoon's POV
Who knew getting sick was the only way to get her to give me a second chance? For your information, I didn't plan this. I was trying my best to concentrate on work but my thoughts kept running to her. I saw her every day. I kept seeing flashes of her eyes and smile during the day while I dreamt of her during the night. I couldn't catch a break.
I kept making mistakes during our practice. It was frustrating. I just wanted to see her. Even if it was for a minute. I wanted to hug her. I missed her so much that it was driving me insane.
Before I knew it I was spending most of my time either in the dance studio or my studio. Nothing was perfect. Everything I did was filled with mistakes and I ended up taking it out on myself.
On the concert day, I felt dizzy when I woke up but after taking a bottle of water and eating some delicious food I felt good. I didn't know I was merely delaying the inevitable. I was glad she was the one who took care of me.
I could only imagine how scared she was. She must have been shaking when she saw me lying completely still. I owed her an apology for what happened. I hope she forgives me. I want her back and I will stop at nothing to get her back to my side forever.