Chapter 8
I was sitting at the dinner table with James, Ethan, and five other men. I felt very small and intimidated by all of them. My heart was racing and my palms were very sweaty. Everyone was staring at me. Ethan was glaring at them and he was starting to get very frustrated.
“Can you all stop staring at her?” Ethan said, snapping at them finally. They all looked away except for James. James seemed to challenge Ethan. Ethan was about to go over to him but I put my arm around him.
“Please don’t. Let’s just get this over with.” I whispered to him. He just huffed but listened to me. Before the tension could proceed, James spoke up.
“So Bri, welcome to the Black residence. You are probably wondering who these guys are huh?” I just nodded, not trusting my voice at the moment. “Well, they are my sons.” I finally looked at everyone.
Each boy looked like the last and all of them seemed to have a little of James in each of them. I then realized that the guy I bumped into today was also sitting here. My anxiety started to pick up. James was trying to talk to me but I couldn’t hear him over my heart. “So many people.” was the line that keeps going through my head. I put my head in my hands and grabbed my hair.
My hands shook, and my vision started to blur, I grabbed onto Ethan and leaned on him. My ears then started to ring and the world was slowly starting to go black. I felt my body give out onto Ethan and his arms wrapping around me. The events from today are finally taking me out.
I felt like I was dead. My body felt light but also heavy at the same time. My head still had a dull pounding and it was dark. I tried to open my eyes but they felt extremely heavy. My anxiety attacks have always been very bad for my body. I was always shut down and sometimes ended up in the hospital because my body can’t recover from them.
My hearing slowly started to come back to me as well the feeling in my body. I was in silence for a while before I heard the door open. I heard feet shuffling towards me. My mind was beginning to race again. I felt my breathing pick up when I felt someone touch me.
“Bri, I know you can hear me. It’s Ethan, don’t worry it’s just me.” I calmed down again and felt comfort in his touch. “You had me very scared for a while. I am so sorry for throwing you into everything. Today was too much for you and I should have known that you needed a break. I love you Bri.” I squeezed his hand with the little strength I had to let him know I was okay. I felt like hours before I could open my eyes. I slowly blinked when they opened and regretted it immediately. Bright light clouded my vision and pain erupted in my head. I put my hand over my eyes, trying to soothe my head. I felt him get up and turn down the lights.
I gratefully nodded at him and slowly took my hand off of my eyes. I saw that we were in the same room as before. I noticed that it was dark outside, meaning that it was late evening. Ethan came back over and hugged me. I swallowed and felt no relief from the dryness in my throat.
“Water.” I croaked out. Ethan grabbed a cup from the bed stand and gave it to me. I quickly gulped it down and thanked him. “What time is it?” He looked at his phone and back at me.
“Almost 10 p.m.” I looked at him with wide eyes.
“Sorry about dinner Eth-” Ethan cut me off for the thousandth time today.
“Don’t say sorry. Today was such a long day for everyone and we pushed you too hard.” I gave him a small smile. Our sweet moment was ruined by my stomach growling. We both cracked a smile and let out a little laugh. “Let’s get you some dinner.” I nodded and got up cautiously. Ethan came over and took a hold of my arm and led me out of the room. He took us down many hallways and down some stairs to get to the kitchen. He knew this place so well.
I was going to ask him how but I was hungry. He walked right into the kitchen and asked one of the chiefs to make me something. I blocked the rest out, taking a look around this place. The kitchen was huge. It was all black and white marble. It was modern and all up to date. My head hurt looking at it because of how clean it was. You could see yourself in everything. It was like looking at yourself from every angle. I put my head down not wanting to think anymore, just wanting this day to end. I must have been zoned out for a while because I felt a foreign hand on my shoulder. I stiffened up and turned to see who it was. It was James.
“Bri, I am so sorry for giving you so much to process today. I should have known that this was a lot to handle. I hope you can forgive me.” I smiled a bit and nodded. He gave me a million-dollar smile. I could tell he wanted to hug me. He was inching toward me. Even though my mind was screaming no, I went against my instincts and slowly went in for a hug. His smile got even bigger which seemed impossible and pulled me into his arms. His chest felt warm and safe. That word, safe, has been foreign to me since the accident.
Of course, Ethan made me feel safe but not like a father figure safe. He smelled of expensive cologne and the outdoors. I felt safe. For the first time, I felt secure and safe. In his arms, I felt as if nothing could hurt me. Tears came to my eyes again and I hugged him tighter. I felt him move so I thought he was trying to pull away but he picked me up and brought me into the living room. He sat me down and looked at me. I looked at his face and saw concern in his eyes. Someone other than Ethan cared for me? Before I could stop myself I launched myself into his chest and let out a loud and powerful sob. He immediately put his arms around me and rubbed my back. Sobs were coming as fast as they left and I felt all of my bottled-up emotions come out.
Sadness rushed through me like a river and seemed to consume me. Suddenly, anger started to slip through the cracks. It rushed through me and took over.
“You knew I was your daughter but you left me in that house for all of these years,” I said while looking up at him. He was about to say something but I cut him off. “You knew where I was and what I went through but still kept me there.”
“Bri, I couldn’t do anything.” I pulled away from him so fast.
“Bullshit!” I yelled. “You are one of the most powerful men in the world. You can get anything you want in the snap of the fingers.” He just stood there and looked at me with soft eyes. I heard people come into the room but that didn’t stop me. “I was being abused, hurt, every day. Day in and day out I was used as a punching bag, and then I was taken! I was taken from my own house and tortured. For three weeks, I was raped, beaten, and treated like scum.
Three weeks was all it took to take me out. My supposed father died from a drive-by and I felt destroyed.” I walked closer to him and started to pound on his chest. “I needed you and you weren't there. I needed you.” I stopped pounding but my anger was gone as fast as it came. Sobs found their way to my mouth again and I dropped to my knees. I put a hand over my mouth. Nothing was coming out in sound but my pain dripped out of me from every pore in my body. James came down to my level and wrapped me in his arms again.