Chapter

Chapter 4

4 Years Later

Letting You Go.

Chapter 3

“Xavier!!” I exclaimed in exasperation.

He just snuggled in deeper into the comforter. “No Mommy!! Please!! I don’t want to go to school!!”

I groaned. This boy did this every morning and I gave him the same answer every morning. I wondered if he got tired of it. “Okay, young man,” I said, “If you don’t get up right now I will call Uncle Josh and tell him that you’re not going for Maggie’s birthday party.”

He was up before I could say ‘birthday party’. He stood on the bed and smiled that cute little smile. His smile made my day. And lured me into agreeing to whatever he told me. It’s these moments that made me realize how similar Chris and Xavier are. They were the same in so many ways and every day I found myself looking for Chris’ face in his.

“Mommy, why are you staring at me?” Xavier’s voice brought me back to reality. I smiled and shook my head at him.

“Nothing baby let’s give you a bath and get you dressed up for school alright?”

He grinned. I gave him a bath and dressed him up in jeans and a tee shirt. He put on his sneakers and looked at me with an innocent smile on his face, “Do I look good Mommy?”

I grinned. “You look really good sweetheart.”

“Can I go for Maggie’s party?” he asked with a little pout.

“Of course you can.” I replied and the widest smile broke out on his face. “But remember that she is picking you up today. Wait for her at school. Mommy has some important work to do. I’ll meet you at Uncle Josh’s house.”

He nodded. After we had our breakfast I dropped him off to school. He gave me a small smile as he hugged me and went in. I sat in my car looking at his retreating figure. I knew why Xavier didn’t like coming to school. All the other kids asked him about his Daddy and he didn’t know what to say. At such a tender age he had realized that I didn’t like talking about Chris. And he respected that.

My son was an exact replica of Chris. He had the same striking blue eyes, the lopsided grin… the only thing that set him apart was his English accent.

I shook my head out of my thoughts and drove towards my café. I had bought a café in London. Harold had insisted that he pay full price for the café and I had no choice but to expect. Josh had somehow managed to get me the place in London. The café was always full. The biggest reason for this was the amount of time Josh had spent in advertising the café. The place became so crowded that I had to make another floor.

My phone rang and I instantly knew that it was Josh.

“Hey Josh,” I greeted.

“Hey. Where are you?” he asked.

“I’m at the café. Why?”

“Amber you were supposed to meet me at the lawyer’s office twenty minutes ago.”

I cursed under my breath. I told Josh to wait while I drove to the lawyer’s office as fast as I could without going beyond the speeding limit. I parked and as I saw the embossed name plate I stopped in my tracks. I knew this was inevitable but it had to happen.

Mr. A. McGee.

Divorce Attorney.

After five years it didn’t make any sense for me and Chris to be married. He wasn’t coming back and I sure as hell couldn’t face ‘Where is your husband?’ questions anymore. Chris hadn’t even tried to contact me once. He didn’t reply to my calls, to my texts or my e-mails. I was tired of this cat and mouse game. I wanted this more for my son than me. I wanted Xavier to have the best in the world. I wouldn’t make myself a bad parent just because of Chris.

“Mrs. Meyers, good morning,” the attorney greeted me. “Mr. Burns.”

I gave him a tight lipped smile. “It’s Ms. Woods.”

“Of course.” He said in a totally understanding voice like ha had people asking him to call them by their maiden all the time. But since he was a divorce attorney maybe he did.

“Are you sure you don’t want alimony?” he asked and I almost glared at him. He had been going at this for the last ten minutes.

“No, thank you.” I said through gritted teeth. “I have enough to provide for myself. I just want to get this divorce over with.”

“If you’re really sure….” He trailed off and I wanted to smack him right then. Attorney or no attorney.

“I AM Mr. McGee.” I said and he seemed to have gotten the point.

“Yes. Of course. I will contact either Mr. Meyers attorney or him in person and I will let you know soon in person.” He said and I nodded.

“Thank you.” I said as me and Josh exited his office. As soon as we were out of his office I could feel my tough façade crumbling. I slumped against Josh as tears threatened to overwhelm me.

“Are you okay Amber?” Josh asked concern evident in his voice.

I shook my head. The tears I had tried stopping flowed easily now and I did nothing to restrain them. He hugged me and I cried into his shirt. He pulled back and tugged me gently to his car. He took my car keys out of my hand and tossed them to his driver.

“Get Amber’s car home.”

He got into the car and drove away from the attorney’s office.

“You did the right thing alright?” he said in a soft voice. I shook my head.

“I didn’t!!!” I wailed. “I should have told him about Xavier.” My throat constricted. “I’m denying Xavier his father. He has every right to know about Chris! And so does Chris.”

“If he cared even a little about you, Amber he would have replied to your calls.” Josh stated anger slipping into his voice. He doesn’t care about you. What you did was right for you and Xavier.”

“But he didn’t know I was pregnant! I kept it from him, wanting to surprise him but… he gave me the biggest surprise of my life. What if Xavier finds out when he’s older? He’s going to hate me!” my voice broke down at the end and Josh stopped the car.

“Amber please stop crying,” Josh pleaded. “I love you and I know it’s hard on you. We are all here for you. If Chris knew what difference would it make? It’s obvious that his suspicion rose days ago. Both of you would be trapped in something you don’t want.”

His voice made me see reason. He was right. Both of us would be stuck in something we didn’t want. Or at least he didn’t want.