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Chapter

Chapter 5

Cameran -

She came over beside me and squatted down.

She put her hand on my knee and I looked at her trying not to let myself get too upset.

Dani: ‘Can you please tell me why you're so bothered by your arm healing?’

‘I guess I just don't like the reason that it hurts to begin with and I'm not very comfortable with doctors. I have things that I don't want them to see and if they did I'm afraid of what might happen.’

Dani: ‘Would you tell me what happened please? Could you tell me what you're afraid of being seen?’

I looked around still trying not to get upset.

Dani: ‘Cameran, I understand that you don't know me, but you messaged me for a reason. If you want to be able to see what could be between us, I need you to be able to talk to me.’

‘My ex was drunk when my arm got messed up. She didn't mean to hurt me, but it was a really bad night. I'm scared that if a doctor saw some of the scars that I have. She said I would always be hers so it was ok to leave permanent scars. They say some things that aren't nice.’

I felt tears building.

Dani: ‘Oh sweetie, come here.’

She stood and extended her hand so I stood up as well.

She pulled me into a hug then sat in my seat pulling me into her lap.

Dani: ‘I want you to be entirely honest with me. When your arm got hurt are you sure she wasn't trying to hurt you on purpose?’

I swallowed loudly and nodded my head.

‘I know that she wasn't trying to hurt me that night because a few weeks later she did hurt me on purpose and not in the fun way. I know the difference in her apologizing genuinely when she didn't mean to do something and when she would lie and act like it was an accident.’

She squeezed me firmly.

Dani: ‘Lucelia is a very good friend of mine and she would be more than capable of handling your physical therapy if you will let her. Honestly if you didn't even want to go to the office you would not have to. I am so sorry for whatever may have happened to you, but I hope that you will learn that when you are with me you are safe. I do need you to be honest with me though and not just if I asked specifically about something. If you and I have a chance at becoming something I need there to be no secrets.’

‘I haven't even spoken to her in months, but to talk about it feels like I'm betraying her. I know that might not make sense, but it's how it feels. For two years she was basically my entire life. She controlled every aspect of my life by the end of the relationship, even if she did not do so responsibly. I understand that I probably sound pathetic, but it feels like if anyone should be taking care of what happened it should be her and there's a part of me that feels wrong for even letting you send me to the doctor today.’

Dani: ‘I'm so sorry you feel that way, but the fact of the matter is that she's gone and it sounds like that's for the best. I really would like to see what might be between us, but in order for that to happen I need to know you're healthy physically and mentally. So do you think that maybe we could agree that you let me help you get healthy again so that we can see what this could progress into? Could you trust me enough to let me help you? There's no obligation for anything, I just want to help. Even if we discover that we would just be better off as friends or even if we completely go our separate ways. Could you please let me do that Cameran? That way no matter what is in store for your future I'll have the peace of mind from knowing that you are in a good healthy place.’

‘But why? I don't understand.’

I started to cry.

Dani: ‘Because I want to. Because I do believe in helping others without a promise of anything in return. Because I believe that everything happens for a reason including you messaging me last night and me having this feeling in my gut that I'm supposed to help you.’

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