Chapter

David was away for a few days on a business trip. I liked it when this happened as I had felt a huge weight lifted and I could just be myself. I often thought of the person I used to be, the carefree, impulsive independent I didn't recognise this person anymore. The best way to describe it was to feel completely empty. I had so many friends in the past but as David and I got closer my friendships disappeared. I wonder if they knew how often I thought of them and that their love was what made me want to break free? It wouldn't be until a lot later I would understand they all knew what was happening but they were frustrated because they couldn't save me.

I didn't know they would think of me as well, it's because of Nina that bought Trish back to my side. Trish was always an outspoken friend that cared fiercely about me. She had always pulled me from the shadows and pushed me to the light. She never once spoke bad of David but stood firm against him. I never realised until that night!

I had this call from her. It was her bubbly self and so enthusiastic to hear my voice when the call connected.

"Hello darling! I'm back for a few days let's hook up", she spoke.

" omg Trish you're here, really here!" I remember the warm feeling in my heart when I heard her speak.

I had told her I needed to check that David didn't haven't have any plans first. I prepared to talk to him and ask him, I cooked his favourite steak and chips. I even wore the dress he liked so he must have known I needed something.

I told him excitedly that Trish was back and she wanted a drink. Could I go? He didn't even hesitate he told me to go. He even smiled a brilliant smile that made me doubt the actions of his. Like all the pain and hurt was in my head and he was still my hero.

When I had met Trish she unloaded all her concerns to me. She said that Nina had called her and spotted me looking awfully thin and that my face was always covered with makeup and a false smile. She said that Nina had tried a couple of times but David had always cut her off.

I had just sat there listening to her express her concern and love to me. She touched my hand to encourage me to talk. She said she'd save me if I needed her just to say the word.

I remember my inner voice screaming all the things that were happening. How the dark clouds had engulfed me and I couldn't breathe. I wanted to say I lost myself a long time ago and wasn't worth saving but I said nothing.

I had repeatedly told Trish I was fine, David was the love of my life and that Nina was jealous because she wanted David for herself.

I had spotted the hurt in Trish eyes but I had to protect her because David wrath on her beautiful soul would break me.

I didn't believe Nina wanted David. She had been very vocal to him about his treatment of me that's why I couldn't be her friend anymore. It hurt letting her go, to let Trish go would lose all my being.

Trish looked at me sympathetically and said that she would extend her trip as she wanted to hook up with Toby.

I looked at her in shock, what was Toby doing here? She had said that he was a high flyer businessman now and moved to the town to sort a problem within his organisation. She could clearly see I was interested to hear more but she stopped and brushed the subject away.

I was in a spin, Toby could cause me a load of problems more than he knew. He used to be David's best mate, we would always be hanging out with each other.

David, Toby , Trish and myself were the bestest of friends and were inseparable. We had met in Hisaronu Turkey with the boys, Trish had just moved out there and I had come to stay for 6months to help settle her in. I saw David on the night he had come back from completing his national service. He stood out from the crowd with a brilliant smile and curly brown hair, his eyes met mine and there was an instant spark. I remember butterflies in my stomach and an overwhelming heat in my body. He had moved so confidently to where Trish and I stood and introduced himself and Toby. Toby instantly held his hand to shake mine but David had pushed it away, it was a subtle movement that I hadn't noticed at the time. Toby sat and spoke to Trish and I spoke to David. I found him so enchanting that I was under his spell from that moment. Toby and him had a big falling out the night before our wedding to this day I don't really know what happened. I knew it was big enough for Toby not to come to our wedding and had set the mood for the day. David didn't tell me for 3years that during an argument and he had pinned me to a wall by my neck that Toby couldn't save me then so he wouldn't be able to save Me now. I didn't understand the comment from him, he was meant to be my knight in shining armour but here he was once again releasing his rage that a new CEO had taken over his company and I was getting the full blame. Up until that moment he hadn't mentioned Toby and I hadn't thought about it until after the terrifying attack.

"CARRIE!" Trish pulled at my hand. It pulled me out of my own thoughts and I looked at her with a surprised look that I was still sitting with her.

" when did you become a girl lost in her own thoughts?" She said softly.

I smiled at her, little did she know that's all I had now was my thoughts.

"Trish, I'm okay I promise" I suddenly said. I don't even think I believed it myself.

Before I knew it a familiar figure had walked to our table and called "Trish, Carrie long time no see!" A beautiful smile appeared on his face and his green eyes warmed as they looked at me. I became nervous all of a sudden. I knew I couldn't be here any longer and needed to go. I looked at Trish and willed her to understand my thoughts but she was already standing and throwing this man in a warm embrace. "Toby! I was just telling Carrie about you!" She said lovingly. Toby looked at me and smiled but didn't approach me, I looked at him and gave him a helpless smile and said it was nice to see him. Looking back I thought I saw something in his eyes but it disappeared quite quickly that I doubted it. Toby had pulled up a chair and started chatting to Trish like they only saw each other yesterday. I knew they had only ever been friends and didn't understand why they never dated but they were best friends. Toby looked at me and asked if I was okay? A warm feeling ran through my body at this kindness he showed but I tried to push it away. I nodded at him and tried to hide the stranger I had become behind my smile. I made my excuses and left, they were reluctant to let me go but did anyway. I had arrived home just before 10pm. I saw that the light in the sitting room was on as I put the key in the door. I knew I couldn't tell David about Toby he would go mad I didn't know he already knew. I opened the door and David wasn't in the sitting room but sitting on the stairs opposite. He was looking straight at me with a cold stare, chills running down my spine. I could feel my legs become weak and had to muster all my strength to put a smile on my face.

" where have you been?" David asked.

"What do you mean? I was out with Trish and then I came home" I said trying to leave the nerves to one side.

I could tell he was already angry so didn't want to make it worse.

" Just you and Trish? " he said casually , looking back now I knew this was the trap. At the time I wasn't thinking rationally I just wanted to escape.

" yes just Trish, she's staying even longer that's good isn't it? She said she'll come over for dinner with us both to relive old days," I swallowed hard as I saw his lips curl and the darkness cross his eyes.

In a flash he was besides me slamming the front door shut. One hand on the door and the other blocking my way free. He locked the door and grabbed my hair and pulled me to the kitchen. I learnt long ago to not scream it just made it last longer so I retreated and became a spectator. "What about Toby????!!" He snarled

Fear ran through me then, so many questions that were unanswered how did he know? was the biggest one. He pushed me to the floor and sat on me, he licked my face and then slapped me hard. He pulled my head up and slammed it to the ground. He was a heavy man and knew I couldn't breathe. He punched me so hard in the face that my eye felt it had exploded. He got up and I took a gasp of air and started coughing, he kicked me so hard in the side that I could feel the warmth of the impact engulf my side. I closed my eyes and waited for death because surely that would be better than this. I don't know how long it was but his phone rang and everything stopped. He walked out of the room and then he came back. He said he had to go to work. I was lucky this time and I shouldn't make the same mistake again!. With that he put on his suit and left and I cried more than I ever had before. I cried for what seemed hours ....