Chapter

I don't know how long I had been asleep but I woke to a darkened room. I had images flash into my mind of what had happened a few nights ago and what Toby and Trish had said. I couldn't believe the man that loved me so fiercely once before was capable of selling me now.

My mind was racing that I hadn't spotted the figure sitting by the window, his face lit by the moonlight and sadness etched into every line on him. I hadn't noticed his gaze as intense as it was on mine, in fact I didn't notice him until he stood up and made his way to me. I jumped at the sudden movement but calmed when I realised it was Toby.

"Carrie let's eat, it's been days since you've eaten. The Drs said you need your strength." He said softly.

I nodded and in an instant could feel my stomach was hungry too. I threw my legs over the side and held him for support. He guided me to the window where food had been prepared and we sat. There was freshly made chicken soup with homemade bread all cut and real butter sitting in a warm pot. Toby took some bread and buttered it for me and placed it beside my bowl, I looked at him and smiled and his eyes looked like they were dancing in the moonlight.

"How do you feel?" He asked.

"Sore, stupid and embarrassed" I answered truthfully. As long as I could remember I had never been able to hide my true emotions from Toby so I didn't bother.

A frown appeared on his face and then he said " I don't understand why you feel stupid or embarrassed? You were beaten and nearly killed by someone who should have protected you".

I gulped back my chicken soup and stared at him, why did this man care so much about someone who was as worthless as myself. He had gone above and beyond friendship and now he sat opposite saying I shouldn't feel embarrassed. Does he not know it's all my fault David was this way? I was going to leave. Of course I was brave for 5minutes and had the courage but it just caused rage to go through his veins. " I deserved what happened Toby, it was my fault. I made him angry and got punished for it. Why did you come back to save Me? I told you I wasn't worth it" I spoke each word slowly and carefully so I was understood.

Toby didn't answer for a long time. I would have thought he'd have agreed with me until he said ," you deserved nothing that has happened to you, I failed you back then. I couldn't save you but I'm stronger now and I can. I won't fail you again. I'll leave you to eat". With that he went to leave but I instantly grabbed his hand and pleaded with him to stay. He obviously didn't realise the security he made me feel, he pulled away and stroked my face, we locked eyes and I saw such intensity in his eyes. He then turned and walked out of the room.

My thoughts were all over the place. I didn't know what the expectation of me was to be here. Where was I? I decided to go for a walk around the house and see if I could figure out my surroundings.

I pulled on a dressing gown and some slippers that had been left out for me. My sides hurt so much but I didn't feel as weak as I had before, I could only think that the chicken soup was a miracle worker.

I pulled open the oak door and it led to a long corridor with many doors along it. I walked along the corridor until I found stairs. As I walked down them they joined the kitchen. The kitchen was huge and very bright, it had a range cooker and a double fridge freezer, there was a breakfast bar in the centre of the kitchen where 6 chairs were neatly arranged. At one end of the kitchen were double doors that were the entrance to the garden and I stood here for a while thinking how different it looked from my kitchen.

My kitchen was dark and smashed up from all the times I made mistakes with David. My kitchen had set my nerves on edge every time I went in to it, David would grab me and say I had done it again.

One time he had sent me to the kitchen to make a cup of tea, I had hesitated before I went in and as the kettle boiled David was behind me whispering in my ear that hesitating was my mistake that day. He grabbed the kettle and pulled me to the sink, I pleaded with him to stop. I remember as if it was yesterday, he laughed in my ear and poured the hot water over my left hand. I screamed in pain but he bit me like he was sucking all the pain into him. He held me close and wouldn't let me put it under cold water. I had to feel the intense pain, I had to feel his power. He had stood for what felt hours but could have only been minutes before he shoved me against the sink and turned the cold tap on. He then looked after the wound and put cream on and bandaged it up like that monster hadn't existed just moments ago.

I was pulled in to my thoughts again so when the arm went over my shoulder, I screamed.

" omg, I didn't mean to scare you sweetie" Trish had said.

Hearing her voice I was back in the room and out of the darkness that had swallowed me. I looked at her and just embraced her and she wiped my tears away.

" where is Toby?" I surprisingly asked, I wasn't even sure why I asked.

Trish looked at me for a moment then said "it's hard for him to see you like this, so he's gone to do some work in his office" she pointed to a little door at the bottom of the garden.

" This kitchen is beautiful ", I said.

" Yes, Toby had it designed to let in as much light as possible. He wanted the big doors to lead to the garden and stairs to lead away. He never said why he did it but it cost a fortune to have all these exits running off it. ", she said.

I hadn't realised before but there was no corner in darkness, there was a way out for every turn. This kitchen wasn't one from my nightmares but one from my dreams. Did Toby do this for me? I shook this thought away, I wasn't anyone special.

Trish watched me as I was looking round, I hadn't noticed the smile that crept over her face but was gone in an instant.

"Come on let's see the garden" she said pulling my arm.

I followed her out the doors and saw the garden was covered in small fairy lights twickerling away in the night.

There were water features in each corner that were lit from the bottom of the water. It was amazing no part of the garden seemed to be dark, there were some features that lit it up.

I hadn't noticed that Toby had come out of his office and watched my reaction and disappeared back in the office before I had turned around.

"It's beautiful", I said.

"Isn't it, Toby is a hopeless romantic", she said but then inhaled deeply when she realised what she had said.

My heart ached for a moment and it felt like I had been stabbed. I paused and then said, " That's good that Toby has found someone he loves".

Trish looked at me with a funny expression and then said ," Yes my dear Carrie, it's good that he can truly love like he does and always has. She's lovely Carrie and in time you'll love her the same as we do".

I frowned slightly but hoped it wasn't noticed by her, so I decided to lay on the grass and look at the night sky. I hadn't done this in so long I couldn't even remember the last time. The stars twinkled so bright that nothing seemed to be in darkness tonight. Trish laid down beside me saying nothing and held my hand, then from nowhere Toby laid the other side of me and held my other hand.

I had such a warm feeling surge through my body that I hadn't felt for such a long time. I was with my two best friends that I loved dearly and they were not letting me go. For the first time in so long I felt safe, as we watched the stars all night and the sunrise just in silence together. Standing firm against the world, I felt a little bit stronger.

Trish saw that it was 6am and had to rush because she was late for work so we waved her goodbye.

I turned on my side to face Toby and our eyes met staring intensely at me. " Are you okay?" He asked.

" Yes, I've had a lovely night thankyou," I said.

" Let's eat," he said getting up and stretching his arm out to me to help me stand.

I pulled myself up and we headed towards the kitchen, just outside the entrance I stopped and hesitated before stepping in. Toby looked at me and smiled " Carrie if you can't go in yet with me, it's okay. I'll get us breakfast and bring it to you." He stroked my face and went inside making himself busy in the kitchen.

I watched from the door and saw how bright the kitchen was in daylight. There was no corner in darkness, there were days for me to leave as well. Whoever Toby loved was very lucky indeed. I stepped into the kitchen and Toby looked up and gave me a huge warm smile and went back to cooking eggs.