Am not your mate

Another wave hit hard. No longer able to sustain my weight and balance on my hands and knees, I fell to my side.

I bit the inside of my cheek to stifle the de,zz,zzSep groan that fought to escape my lips. Violently shaking, I convulsed, the extra consciousness in my head becoming even more clear. My jaw elongated. Fur pierced through my skin. The swish of a tail brushed against my back legs.

And then it was over.

I lay there, my chest heaving.

It had happened. I was a Wolf!

All of those years of hoping and worrying and waiting, my ever-present animal companion was finally here.

Head spinning, I worked to organize my thoughts. My mind reached out tentatively, Hello?

Her reply didn’t consist of exact words, but I understood it.

The process had been scary for her as well, but she was excited. And more than I could have hoped for, she was just as happy to meet me as I was her!

My heart swelled with love for this creature, who had always been inside of me, but I just now met. I wanted to tell her everything, my whole life story. But when I began, her response shocked me.

She already knew!

She might’ve been silent in my mind, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t there. She knew the struggles I’d faced. She knew my heartbreak. She knew me.

And she loved me.

If wolves could cry, I would be a blubbering idiot right that moment.

Finally, I wasn’t alone anymore...

Thoughts steady and sure, she hoisted our body to its feet. A little wiggle of her butt was all it took to shake out her fur.

I was dying to know what she looked like. Sharing my curiosity, she dropped her head down. Through her eyes, I saw the fur at the top of her chest was black and transitioned into white at the midpoint. It was also tufted out, thicker and longer than a typical Wolf. That was unusual.

She dipped her head lower, looking between her legs, and found the white strip of fur continued along her belly. Her legs were solid black. Three out of four paws were white. Glancing over her shoulder, I could see her back was black, and her tail was thicker than usual as well, long and sleek, black on top, but white underneath. It swished regally in the air.

She blinked and tossed her head back to get the fur out of her eyes. Wait a minute...

...she shouldn’t have hair in her eyes.

But there was. I could see it. It must be longer there as well. Okay. So, she was a little different. But I didn’t care. I had a wolf. That’s all that mattered, no matter what color or shape she came in.

Abruptly, her muscles contracted. Power flowed from her hips as she leaped forward, high into the air. Her movement was thrilling. Excitement coursed through my veins.

She bounded forward at a dead run, tearing through the forest with shocking speed and grace. The sun had set, and night darkened the sky, but I could still see easily. The air whipping around her lithe frame was invigorating. I inhaled deeply.

Without warning, she ground to a halt, nose high in the air, catching the scents on the wind. Beneath the smell of pine and earth, there was a much more enticing scent- delicious spice, balsam and juniper berry.

Her nostrils flared. Her legs trembled. She pawed at the ground.

What was that??

My wolf didn’t know either. But the compulsion to find it, whatever it was, was impossible to ignore. Her head snapped to the side, isolating the scent on the wind and she took off, gliding over the ground even faster than before.

The path, we were on, led to the pack house. Confusion coloured my thoughts. What could the tantalizing scent be? I’d never smelled anything so decadent and alluring there before.

We were close.

She whipped around the side of the house without slowing down. So caught up in the maddening scent, I didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late.

Grinding to a halt, every inch of my body quivered in shock, as I stared at the scene in front of me because now I understood.

No, no, no!

There was no way.

It wasn’t possible!

Alpha and his three sons reclined around a fire. Beers in hands, they looked as if they’d been talking and laughing, comfortable.

That is, until I burst on the scene.

But only one of them mattered to me right then.

Alpha’s firstborn son- Coal!

He snapped to his feet the instant I entered the clearing, causing his girlfriend, Calla, to tumble off of his lap. She glared up at him from the ground, surprised by his sudden and unexpected movement. And then her head turned to me, her confusion twisting into horror.

Coal stared at me, transfixed.

At twenty-one, he was four years older than me. I’d gone to school with his younger brothers, Ryder and Chase, both of whom were complete asses. I had seen Coal before, but never like this.

My razor-sharp vision took in every inch of his perfect flesh.

Tousled dark hair, piercing blue eyes, pants low on his hips, he wore no shirt, revealing his muscular chest, a chiselled six-pack and distinct V indention on his hips.

If I could have licked my lips in this body, I would have. As it was, I wondered if my tongue was hanging out.

Why, yes actually, it was.

I mentally nudged my Wolf.

She pulled it back into her mouth and clamped her jaw shut.

Alpha’s head spun around to stare at me. Eyes blazing, he snarled, “What the fuck? Who...?” And then his voice dropped low, barking out an order I could not resist, “Shift!”

I fell to my belly as the change came over me.

Pain. Oh no, it was hurt again. It took a minute, but finally, I crouched on the ground, naked, panting, my hands planted down to the earth to support my trembling muscles.

I stared at Coal in awe.

I had a mate!

...the one thing I never thought I was good enough to have.

And there he was.

Perfection.

“Dude,” Chase muttered, his face twisted as if he was in pain, as he stared at his older brother.

What? Why was he looking at him like that?

His brother had just found his mate. It should be a happy time. Mates were special, no matter who they were, a gift from the Moon.

This changed everything for me.

And then I understood Chase’s expression.

Shock and disappointment coursed through me.

He was staring at Coal in pity.

“No!” Alpha roared, jumping to his feet. Hands clenched into fists, his unbridled expression, rage. He took a purposeful step in my direction.

Oh shit! Terror coursed through me.

Coal yelled, “Stop!”

Alpha spun and faced him. “You know this is NOT happening! I don’t give a fuck what the Moon thinks. I am ending this right now!”

“No!” Coal hissed. “Of course, it isn’t happening. But I will take care of it. We cannot condone killing the girl when she hasn’t done anything wrong!”

Killing me?!

My gaze broke from Coal and centered back on Alpha. A hard shudder ran down my spine. Coal was right. Alpha’s eyes blazed lethal intent.

I was going to die.

Coal stepped around his father and approached me slowly. Every step closer charged the air with electricity. Did he feel it too?

Crouching down, he brought himself eye-level with me and then wrapped his hand around my bicep to tug me to my feet.

Tingles shot up and down my skin at his touch.

Eyes widening, he let go of my arm like it was on fire. A muscle in his jaw twitched. He spoke through clenched teeth, his tone icy cold, “Brinley, listen to me very carefully. This isn’t happening. You need to leave and forget it ever happened.”

Forget it happened?

How was I supposed just to forget it happened?

I crossed my arms in front of my chest, embarrassed and vulnerable at my nudity, and whimpered, “But-“

He cut me off, his voice harsh, “Let me be clear. I don’t want you now, and I will not want you in the future. Do you understand?”

My wolf whimpered in my head, her tail tucked between her legs. I was speechless, powerless to speak around the massive lump in my throat. Tears came to my eyes and streamed silently down my cheeks.

Nothing had changed.

He didn’t want me.

And now things were much, much worse.

Coal’s expression hardened as he waited for an answer to his question.

My eyes flickered back to the group behind him. Alpha glared. Calla had found her way back into Coal’s chair, and smirked at me in satisfaction.

I thought I’d been broken before.

I thought my life couldn’t get any more painful.

I could not have been more wrong. I laughed bitterly in my head. Because there was no way I was going to survive this torture, this pure heart-crushing pain.

I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t give Coal the answer he wanted.

Instead, I let my Wolf take over.

Skin became fur.

We turned and ran...