Seven
Celeste
I turned into the parking lot and followed the signs around the well- kept campus toward the agency’s primary entrance. Pulling into a parking space, I turned the car off and just sat for a minute. Looking at the building made everything feel startlingly real.
The last week had been such a whirlwind that there had barely been time to process everything. Nathan had called this morning to ask if I
wanted to drive out to our first appointment together, but I’d quickly declined. He was being chivalrous, I understood that—appreciated it, even. He’d be a good father. But this was about a baby, not about us.
Our situation was anything but normal, and it would be much too easy to ruin the tentative new peace between us with old feelings and misplaced intimacy. I owed it to both of us, and the child we’d share, to
stick to the healthy boundaries I’d been so careful to set when we agreed on this in his kitchen.
I was not going to fall in love with Nathan Sloan again.
Reassured that I had my head on straight, I got out of the car and headed inside. The building was impeccably clean. Bright and airy, it had a relaxed feel that I welcomed as butterflies started in my stomach. Here and there, people waited on modern, minimalist couches in the reception area. Their presence unexpectedly helped. For all that this was new and strange to me, it was obviously not an uncommon practice if they were all here, too. The reception desk was well marked and settled a little as I approached it.
“Good morning!” The woman behind the desk had a sweet smile and greeted me warmly. Her name tag read Victoria, and I made a note to remember it since I’d probably be seeing her regularly if everything went well.
“Good morning. I’m Celeste Hargate. I have an appointment at ten o’clock.”
“Of course. Just a moment, please.” Victoria typed something into her computer and peered at the screen. “Ah, there we go!” She picked up
the phone. “Elton? Ms. Hargate is here. Mmhm. Thank you.”
“Elton will be right out to escort you back.” She had me sign in and handed me a visitor’s tag that I dutifully clipped to the strap of my purse.
“You’ll want to keep that on you,” she explained, “and make sure you turn it in when you leave. There’s a barcode that helps us track all your tests and files efficiently. If you accidentally take it home, it isn’t the end of the
world, but leaving it here means you don’t have to remember to bring it back.” She smiled. “I understand ‘pregnancy brain’ makes that a pain later on, so it’s best to just get in the habit.”
“I think probably,” I agreed, charmed by her cheerful efficiency. “Thank you.”
A young man appeared at my elbow. “Ms. Hargate? I’m Elton.”
He was clean-cut and friendly, and I reiterated my thanks to Victoria before following him through a set of glass doors and down a short hall to a small conference room. Nathan was already there, and my heart leaped a little to see him. He looked impossibly handsome in his dark pants, collared shirt, and pull-over. His hair was mussed like he’d been running his hand through it; I refused to find it endearing. He looked up as we entered, and I felt his eyes skim over me like a physical touch. A delicious shiver ran down my spine at the possessiveness in his gaze.
No, I mentally smacked myself. Boundaries. This isn’t personal.
“We usually start with a tour of the facility,” Elton said, smiling at us both. “We want you to feel comfortable here, so if it’s all right with you, we’ll get started on that before you meet with Edna, our pairing agent.”
“Sure,” Nathan agreed.
“That’d be great,” I nodded.
Nathan fell in beside me as we followed Elton around. He was an excellent guide, personable without being pushy. The entire building was spotlessly clean, and all the staff we passed seemed kind and professional.
My confidence that we were making the right choice grew with every step.
“On this side,” Elton said, interrupting my thoughts, “we have the psych care offices. Everyone involved gets a thorough psych screening. Not because we think you’re crazy,” he clarified with a grin, “but just because
this is outside most people’s experience. Working with a professional can help make sure all parties are properly prepared and supported throughout the process. Over here,” he continued, “is where the physical screenings take place.”
He explained the extensive testing involved in making sure that both father and surrogate were healthy before eggs and sperm were harvested,
combined, and implanted. “Your physical check-ups during the pregnancy would take place there, too,” he told me.
When we’d gotten a full tour and had a chance to ask our questions about the physical campus, he took us to meet the pairing agent. Edna
Robbins was an older woman, but she had keen eyes and a friendly face that quickly set me at ease. Nathan and I sat down beside one another across from her.
“There is a lot involved in pairings,” Edna told us seriously after we’d gotten the pleasantries out of the way. “Particularly for shifters, who
have extra factors to take into account. There’s genetics, of course—making sure we avoid any high-risk combinations. But it’s essential to take donor
and surrogate personalities and approaches to the situation into account, as well. I understand from your file that you two already know each other?”
“Yes,” I answered. “Nathan is the Alpha of my pack.” I intentionally did not add, he was almost my mate.
“I see.” She looked between us, then focused on me. “Forgive me for asking this, Ms. Hargate, but you are not under pressure from your pack to participate in this, are you? Because if you are, we can offer you protection.”
Nathan bristled. I could see the Alpha in him preparing to snarl out a vicious answer.
“No,” I said quickly, shooting him a quelling glance before meeting Edna’s eyes. “Nathan has been absolutely clear that he will understand if I’m not interested. This is my choice. I want to.”
Beside me, Nathan relaxed, and Edna beamed. “Excellent. So long as that is the case, we’ve had only positive experiences in situations where the father and the surrogate know each other and enter the process with full
consent. I expect everything will go just fine. Now,” she stood up, “let’s get you both in for your physical exams since nothing else can happen until those come back clear.”
Elton reappeared and led Nathan in one direction while Edna guided me in a different one. A whirlwind of tests followed. There was a full
standard physical, a full gynecological exam, blood testing, and the most
comprehensive family medical history interview I’d ever experienced. After that, I was escorted to the psych office, where I had coffee with a
wonderfully kind woman. Although I suspected the interview was carefully scripted, it didn’t feel that way at all, and I was grateful.
Finally, I was returned to Edna. Nathan was already there when I stepped into the office, in the middle of discussing the financial aspect of the process with the pairing agent.
“I don’t want Celeste to get billed for any of this,” he asserted, flipping through a sheaf of papers. “Where do I mark that on here?”
“Let me see.” Edna appropriated his papers and shuffled through them, then gave them back with a particularly complex-looking form on top. “This one. Third section, box on the right.” She smiled at me. “There you are—the surrogate bit of things always takes longer. Here.” She handed me a stack of papers as thick as Nathan’s. “These are the forms you’ll need. I strongly recommend that you take them home and take your time going through them. She pulled out a pink highlighter and circled a number three pages in. “This is the number for the legal department.” With a yellow highlighter, she circled the number below it. “This is for our counseling department. If you have any questions or concerns—any at all while reading this—call them, and they’ll walk you through it.”
I assured her I understood.
“Then you’re all done for now,” she announced. “Take the papers home, go through them, and we’ll contact you about next steps as soon as we’ve gone over all the test results.”
“Thank you.” I made sure all the forms were neatly tucked in their folder, then got up to leave.
“Wait,” Nathan said, gathering up his own papers and rising. “Let me walk you out.”
I almost protested—boundaries—but it occurred to me that he might have concerns and want to talk about them privately, so I acceded. We said our goodbyes to Edna and stopped at the front desk to return our name badges to Victoria. Nathan held the doors open for me as we exited but still didn’t say anything until we had nearly reached my car.
“Celeste.” He paused, frowning.
“Spit it out,” I ordered, unlocking the car and tossing my purse and papers inside before turning back to him.
He blew out a breath. “I’m your Alpha.” He started to lift his hands, then dropped them again, fisting them at his sides. “I don’t want to cross the boundaries you set, but this …” His jaw worked as he tried to come up with the words he wanted. “Your well-being comes first,” he said, finally, his intense gaze resting on my face. “As your Alpha, it’s my duty to protect you and support you however you need it. The baby is going to be mine, too,
and there’s nothing I won’t do for it—him. Her.”
I smiled slightly at his fumbling, my heart softening. He really was going to be an incredible father and a superb Alpha.
“I just need to know that you’ll tell me,” he said firmly, “if you need something, or if the baby does.”
“You’re a good Alpha, Nathan.” He looked startled at my words, and I risked reaching out to touch his arm gently. “The boundaries aren’t
about cutting you out. I will call if I need something.” I hesitated. “You can call, too. About this. If you need to. We’re going to be partners in raising this baby, so it would be good if we could … talk to each other.
Reasonably.”
“Right,” he said, relieved. “I—thank you, Celeste.” He stepped back, seeming to gather himself. “Drive safe.”
I nodded, slipped into my car, and shut the door.
Tossing the stack of papers onto the nightstand, I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, my thoughts churning. The paperwork was perfectly clear—the deal was exactly what the Elders had said it would be. I would provide eggs, Nathan would provide sperm, and the clinic would combine them to make our baby. Then they would implant it into me and, when it was born, my official and legal responsibilities would end. All parental rights and custody would go to
Nathan. I’d be free to go back to my single, childless life, but I’d have visitation rights. I could still see my child—go to sports games, take them for a day here and there, whatever I was comfortable with. He or she would know me and understand that they were loved. They’d grow up safe and happy.
Safe and happy in a pack that isn’t at risk, my mind emphasized. Every child in the pack would be safer and happier after this. Hell, every member of the pack would be safer, no matter what their age. This might be the only thing that could save us from falling prey to Kurt or half a dozen others just like him. It might be the only way to get the pack sorted out at all for generations.
It would be a sacrifice—there was no sugar-coating that. Pregnancy was strenuous, and it would be a defining feature of my life for the next nine months if I agreed to this. Sharing a child with Nathan would mean irrevocably making him part of my life, too, and raising a child even from a distance was no small feat.
The pack is everything, I heard my mother admonish again. Yes, this was a big deal, but in the larger scheme of things, it was a small price to pay to help so many people I cared about so much. I was the only one who
could do this, and I had a responsibility to my pack.
It wasn’t just a sacrifice, either. I would get my own beautiful pup out of the deal. One of the longed-for babies Nathan and I had dreamed
about years ago before everything fell apart. For all that I’d insisted to Katie that I didn’t need a family of my own, there was something irresistible
about reclaiming that tiny piece of the life I’d so badly longed for.
It wasn’t even a decision, really.
Climbing out of bed, I grabbed for a pen and scribbled my name on the signature line. Biting my lip, I stared at the phone. Partners, I reminded myself. Picking it up, I punched in Nathan’s number.
“Sloan,” he answered, sounding distracted. Was he wrapped up in the paperwork, too?
“Nathan? It’s me. I’m sorry to call so late.”
“Celeste.” He sounded startled but immediately recovered. “No, it’s okay. Any time, you know that. What is it?”
I swallowed and clutched the phone a little tighter, giddy energy blossoming in my chest. “I just wanted you to know … I signed the papers. I’m in.”