Chapter 1

I am a demon. Well.. I’m one of them. Yes, demons are more prone to violence and SEXUAL exploitation. But I know plenty of angels that are absolute dickheads too. Angels could be sent to hell and demons could walk into heaven, but both were only on an “as invited basis”.

I’m also part angel on my fathers side. Thanksgiving is always a fistful of fun. Most of humanity thinks of us as good and evil, but we’re more just… species. Species build, born or made to keep the peace and balance of the universe.

My special breed was limited. There were 7 of us, my parents were of the lucky few chosen for the experiment. They also were best friends that lost their fated loves and vowed to be with one another until their end. They attribute that to why I’m slightly less maniacal than the others. I have met 5 of the 6 of my species that still remained. The first one of us created well, let’s just say he went a little insane, and left us with 7. His demon and angel side fought to the point that he lost his mind and he very literally disintegrated himself to get away from the pain.

The 5 that I’ve met are weird, don’t get me wrong, but they have a grip on both sides of themselves enough to be respected and leaders in their own fields. The 6th, I have not met him in all my 2300 years, and considering his name literally means ‘Misfortune’ I feel like I’m fine with leaving it that way. Some of us are friendlier than othesr. We’re all in different “specialties” to aid with heaven and hells’ peace and keep the humans alive, although they do fight us a lot on that. I am basically a god of war, but I’m also the supernatural worlds’ HR department assisting in stopping wars before they start, if I can.

I love my fucking job. Humans are weird and awkward, and they’re always in their heads. Watching them is amazing, and my favorite show. War patrol is exactly how it sounds, demons get antsy, shut it down. Angels are being pricks again? Shut it down. I’m also in charge of petty human wars, but I only have to stop those if the destruction gets to be too much for their fragile earth. It has been relatively slow lately, but I was enjoying my time. It was only a few centuries since God retired, and it’s just now calming down.

That’s probably going to need some explaining. He’s not like “dead” but he is powerless. He and Lucy are now wandering their way around earth since giving up their powers and will continue to do so until their vessels fail them. Once they do, they’ll probably just get new vessels but we don’t really know. Zeus is a prick but he’s been living in his host for centuries and hasn’t kicked it yet. That was the reason for the experiment that created us to begin with.

Lucifer and God wished for a “retirement” and needed peace keepers that would be above the angel and demon divide. So here we are. They have been planning this since their reconciliation and just needed to make sure we didn’t disintegrate ourselves or mess up the ‘balance’. The others are in charge of their own stations and we have a modicum of free will as long as we get our jobs done. It’s not a bad existence in all honesty, and I get to be around my funny little humans most of the time. As for the rest of them, Acheros powers are in water, making sure shit doesn’t cause earth wide destruction. He can manipulate water and do as he pleases with it, and I hear he’s pretty damn good at it.

He is basically a surfer boy. Than is basically your “ lead grim reaper”. Tall, dark and handsome which definitely helps the ladies be a little more eager to join their after life. He is very effective, but very kind. Aella is the air and sky, she can fly faster than everyone including me but just barely. She is the Air Force. Also, she’s in charge of transportation for fallen angels and demons. Her and Than and siblings from different demon mothers, and they both got the gene for good looks. Aella potentially more so, and she is much more attentive in the bedroom.

Volkan is a natural disaster and controls them. Well, he can but most the time he just creates them. Then there is Ziggy. Ziggy or Zigor was a 6 foot tall blonde bad ass in charge of punishment. She is also the one I have the most contact with and is probably my best friend. She is a bloodhound when it comes to tracking and her punishments are fair and swift. Devland is the “oldest”, and he is the judgment call. He is hardly ever needed on a large scale but he is basically heaven and hells’ liaison. His father is the prince of the 7th circle and his mother was the right hand to god. I have been told that he is the most attractive being to ever exist but considering that it was a human made into an angel to tell me that, I’m holding my judgment.

We all work to keep heaven, hell and earth balanced enough to coexist. After god and Lucifer’s retirement it got a little dicey. Rogue angels tried their hand at converting more humans to form a bigger army, demons tried to double down on soul snatching and they both had their hand on a few almost plagues. The humans didn’t help much, but things are calming down now.

Although every time I see one of those “god is watching” signs, I really want to comment but I don’t think “God is actually busy binge watching all of Netflix” would help. And yes, that was actually one of his goals in his human life. Lucifer is running his own line of sex shops, no I’m not kidding about that either. He doesn’t hate humans, he just wants to play with them a little more than their mortality allows.

Both of them are stripped of all of their powers except regeneration by their own accord to keep the lights on in their respective domains but they both said they will most likely not use their regeneration. They’re getting old. Oh! And ghosts are real, so are vampires. Werewolves are just children of Cerberus but he’s still working his day job. The main and most important thing to note is that even if they wanted to, they can never return. No matter what, they’re gone.

“So… any questions?”

I asked the group of young demons. One of the shorter men of the group raised his hand, goodness so polite. “Yeah um… How do you know which of the siblings is better in BED?”