CHAPTER 5

MARISSA'S POV

I finally reached my cabin after a long, sorrowful walk.

I felt very exhausted and drained, all I wanted to do was to lay down and down into my tragedy.

I changed into my only nightgown and crawled into bed, seeking solace in the darkness.

My mind drifted to the painful memories of my past attempts to leave the pack, but unfortunately, I had been swiftly intercepted by the ever-vigilant patrol warriors.

The pack's strict measures forbade me from leaving the pack, branding me as a potential threat.

The elders believe I might betray them or conspire with the enemy, and thus, my movements were tightly controlled to prevent any harm that could befall the pack.

I was so lost in my thoughts but was startled by a loud pounding sound at the door.

Instantly, my body tensed, I took out my mop stick, ready to defend myself against any intruder. I cautiously approached the door, my voice laced with fright as I called out.

"Who are you?" I asked, prepared to unleash my defenses if necessary.

"Marissa, it's me, Andrew," Andrew's voice reached my ears, instantly diffusing my tension.

I quickly unlocked the door and opened it, relieved to see my brother standing before me. It had been so long since he last visited, particularly since the tragic loss of our mother.

Confusion mingled with curiosity as I gazed at my brother, wondering about his unexpected visit.

"What brings you here, Andrew? Why have you come to see me?" I inquired, my curiosity evident in her eyes.

"I'm not the one who's here to see you, he is," Andrew replied, stepping aside to reveal the big Alpha I had met with earlier at the party, Derrick standing behind him. I gaze at him, my eyes locking with his.

"The kind man from earlier," I murmured, my voice barely audible.

A smile tugged on my lips as I recalled our initial encounter, but my joy faltered when I noticed his expression was cold, in stark contrast to his previous warmth.

I noticed the way he stared at me, his piercing gaze made me feel weird and special at the same time.

It looked like he was fighting his inner beast but I could place my head to what he had in mind.

His eyes reveal a mixture of longing and resignation. The intensity of his stare spoke volumes, conveying he was struggling within himself.

A deep breath escaped his lips. He composed himself and cleared his throat, his voice resonating with authority as he introduced himself. "I am Derrick Garvin, Alpha of the White Fang pack," he stated, his words carrying a weight that mirrored the conflicting emotions swirling within him.

I was taken aback by his commanding presence but managed to compose myself.

I nodded in acknowledgment, my heart fluttering with a mix of anticipation and trepidation.

The aura of authority that surrounded him was undeniable, leaving me with a sense of both intrigue and apprehension.

Keeping my head down, I mustered the courage to respond. "Marissa Allister," I murmured, my voice barely audible in the tense atmosphere.

His gaze bore into me, his eyes piercing and cold. His next words stung like an icy wind cutting through me. "It has come to my attention that you don't possess a wolf," he stated bluntly, his tone leaving no room for interpretation.

My heart raced in her chest as I processed his words. The mention of my lack of a wolf sent a wave of despair crashing over me.

My shoulders slumped, a mixture of shame and disappointment washing over me.

I felt as though my lack of a wolf defined me, rendering me unworthy in the eyes of others, especially someone as influential as Derrick.

His curiosity seemed to get the best of him as he inquired about my eighteenth birthday.

His piercing gaze remained fixed on me, probing for answers. I hesitated, unsure whether I should reveal my painful truth.

But the weight of his stare compelled me to respond, albeit with caution. "Nothing," I whispered, my voice tinged with a touch of bitterness. "Nothing happened on my eighteenth birthday, Alpha," I added with respect.

As he observed me closely, I couldn't help but sense a connection strangely, a pull between us.

He glanced briefly at Andrew, it looked like his thoughts were veering toward different things. He returned his attention to me and made a firm decision.

"We need to talk," He declared, his tone resolute. I simply nodded, my eyes cautiously meeting him.

The weight of his gaze felt both daunting and strangely comforting. "Privately," he added, directing a stern gaze at Andrew, making it clear that he wished to have a private conversation with me away from Andrew's prying eyes.

Sensing that Andrew wouldn't leave, I gestured for Derrick to enter my cabin, my mind racing as I tried to anticipate his reasons for seeking me out.

I lead the way with my heart pounding loudly.

Once inside, an oppressive silence settled between us, broken only by the sound of our breathing.

I couldn't help but notice Derrick's eyes scanning the room, taking in every detail.

He surveyed the small space from how my kitchen faced the dining table, separated only by a curtain from my mattress and a bean bag chair.

My bathroom seemed to be the only enclosed area. I was going through a difficult time, but I still tried to always be happy.

I despised the tension in the air, yet I couldn't find myself able to speak.

Derrick finally noticed my struggle and let out a soft chuckle, I think he found my nervousness endearing.

"Have you ever experienced speaking to your Wolf or dreamed of meeting your wolf?" he asked, his tone serious.

"No, never, but I wish to meet her," I replied, looking down.

"Why do you think of me?" Derrick asked, I could see he was surprised by his question.

I couldn't fathom why he was asking, but I was genuinely curious about his perception of me.

I paused, carefully choosing my words. "You're an Alpha—tall, strong, and unquestionably handsome," I responded, blushing at my reply.

I could swear I saw him smile briefly as I called him handsome, but he quickly grounded himself in reality.

"Do I have an unusual scent?" he asked, once again posing an unexpected question.

I unawarely approached him, attempting to catch a scent despite lacking the heightened senses of a wolf.

I nearly stumbled in my attempt, but Derrick swiftly caught me. Strangely, a tingling sensation coursed through my body at his touch, causing me to retreat abruptly.

"He carried the pleasant scent of sandalwood," I thought to myself.

"You smell wonderful," I commented, unable to resist gazing into his mesmerizing ocean-blue eyes, though I was aware that direct eye contact with pack members, especially high-ranking Alphas, was forbidden.

He let out a sigh tinged with sadness, and for reasons, I couldn't comprehend, I also felt a pang of sorrow.

"Marissa," he called my name with conviction, and inexplicably. I felt a surge of joy hearing her name spoken by him.

"My wolf led me to you because you're my mate," Derrick declared, his voice strained yet composed.

Confusion swelled within my mind, my eyes pleading for an explanation. "His mate, an Alpha's mate! That means a Luna," I thought, grappling with the magnitude of the revelation.

A bittersweet smile slowly formed on my face. Meeting my mate had always been a cherished dream, but as someone without a wolf, I believed it would forever remain out of reach. However, the moon goddess had not forgotten me.

Finally, I would belong to someone, an Alpha no less. I could finally experience the profound love shared between mates, just like any other werewolf.

I saw that his gaze softened slightly as he observed the genuine happiness reflected in my eyes.

I could feel a sense of longing between us. He seemed to be wrestling with conflicting thoughts, he took a deep breath before finally speaking

.

"Marissa, I cannot accept you as my mate. Grave accusations have been made against you, alleging the death of your mother and the bringing of misfortune to those around you. I cannot bind myself to someone with such claims. My responsibility is to protect my pack, and you are not the right fit for me as a mate," Derrick conveyed, his voice filled with a blend of reluctance and conviction.

I recoiled as if struck, my trembling hands betraying my inner turmoil.

My breath caught in my throat as the weight of the accusations and rejection bore down on me, threatening to suffocate my spirit.

"Why is fate being cruel to me?" I thought as tears welled up in my eyes. I summoned the strength to respond.

"I may not possess a wolf, but I am no threat to anyone. I would never harm anyone, let alone my mother," I choked out, my voice barely above a whisper.

I saw that Derrick's gaze softened momentarily, a flicker of doubt crossing his eyes. Yet, his pride seems to swiftly regain its hold, and his resolve hardened once more.

"A mate is meant to fortify the pack, embodying the qualities we hold dear. Unfortunately, you lack the fundamental attributes of our kind—the ability to shift into your wolf form. I cannot have a mate who is perceived as weak and incapable of fulfilling her role," he declared, his voice laced with a chilly indifference.

A deep ache settled within my chest at his words. My heart shattered into countless fragments, the searing pain of Derrick's words piercing my very soul.

His next words were the words I feared to ever hear.

"I, Alpha Derrick Garvin of the White Fang Wolf Pack, hereby reject you, Marissa Alisster, a wolfless she-wolf, as my mate," Derrick proclaimed, his gaze turning icy and devoid of remorse.

The weight of his rejection bore down on me, I watched helplessly as Derrick turned his back on me, leaving me alone in the cabin as if I were nothing more than an inconvenience.

Tears streamed down my face as I crumpled to the floor, my shattered heart aching with the realization that the mate I had yearned for all my life only saw me as a bearer of misfortune.

Overwhelmed by conflicting emotions, I dared not allow myself to feel anything resembling happiness for the past two years, and now Derrick had managed to elate and devastate me in the span of a ten-minute conversation.

I hugged my knees to my chest, seeking solace in the small comfort it provided.

"How could fate be so cruel?" I whispered to myself, attempting to take a deep breath and regain composure.

I tried desperately to push thoughts of his beautiful eyes and handsome face from her mind.

Feeling foolish for even entertaining the notion that he could accept me, I chastised myself for the momentary lapse in judgment.

I should have known that his visit was solely to reject me.

My chest felt heavy, the confidence I tried to build a while back was now replaced by a profound sense of anguish.

Rising from my place, I began to wander in my nightgown, devoid of purpose or direction.

I didn't know where I was going or comprehend the reasons behind my actions.

All I wanted was for the pain I felt to end. My trembling lips quivered as tears streamed relentlessly down my face.

My spirit, already fractured, shattered beyond repair. In that harrowing moment, the depth of Derrick's cruelty and the tragedy of my own life became painfully apparent.

Unaware of my surroundings, I unknowingly crossed the pack's border until I stumbled upon a cliff, the moon casting its luminous glow upon the water below.

The moon's reflection shimmered beautifully against the tranquil surface. I closed her eyes, memories of all my painful times flooding my mind.

A faint smile curled upon my lips. "Soon, I will be reunited with you, Mother," I whispered, gazing up at the moon above.

Taking one last deep breath, I closed her eyes again and let myself succumb to the allure of the depths. With a profound sense of resignation, I leaped into the water, allowing myself to sink into the unknown abyss.