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Chapter 8: Trust

After the three-hour lecture from Atty. De Guzman, everyone in the room was able to breathe. He made us recite and identify the words related to what he taught, and not just that, he questioned us one after the other. I nearly faltered with my answer earlier, but luckily, I immediately remembered what I read last night and was able to provide the exact answer to Atty. De Guzman’s question.

I quickly left the room. I was about to go to the restroom when someone grabbed my wrist and pulled me until we reached the kiosk.

I withdrew my hand from his grip abruptly, leaving his hand hanging in the air, the hand that once held mine. His jaw tensed as he gritted his teeth. His face soured while I remained calm in front of him.

How dare he muster the audacity and the nerve to be angry at this moment?

This man really boils my blood. He can't even give me a space that I deserve!

I didn’t want to get angry yet, my brain seemed dulled from our class with Attorney De Guzman. He’s one of those strict professors who is intense with recitations and if you can’t answer exactly, you instantly get a failing grade.

“What do you need again?” I asked in a calm voice.

“I’m sorry,” he uttered with no trace of sincerity.

My eyebrow shot up in surprise. This darn prideful man said sorry? What’s the sorry for? For lying? Or for cheating?

And he’s not even sincere with his apology! It’s apparent he was just forced to speak in front of me and it’s irritating how his face changes from being demonic to seeming like an angel in front of me.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. He just watched my actions and said nothing about my eye-rolling.

“I do not want your sorry, Kyle. I want you to tell me the truth, that’s it,” I retorted.

He ran his fingers through his hair as if he is utterly frustrated with me. He held his jaw and stared at me intensely. I simply raised my eyebrow and met his gaze.

“Then what do you want to know? I’ll answer you,” he then said. He tried to touch me again on my arms but like before, I brushed his hand away and stepped back.

You will answer me but you won’t tell the truth? Oh please! I want to stop this freaking talking that he wants because I know he will just spin me around with his lies to cover up all his shenanigans.

“Are you cheating on me?” I asked him straightforwardly and without hesitation. I stared him darkly. I noticed how his eyes moved uncomfortable because of my stares.

He became speechless and just stared at me. I smirked in my mind. After a moment, he shook his head. Liar!

“No, I love you and I can’t cheat on you,” he said in a soft and sincere voice.

Really? Love? What’s the meaning of love for this jerk? That you can love ‘me’ while doing shit to me? If that’s how he means that I love you, then he can keep his love! If that kind of love he can offer to me then I'll slap it back to him.

‘I do not believe you.’ I shouted in my mind. I didn’t say it out loud because I knew he would insist that he was telling the truth. It would a waste of time to confront him anyway, he will just change the topic and go on. He took me as a fool and I will let him until I get back on him.

I just nodded even though I really wanted to slap him. I didn’t want our conversation to go on any longer because I was getting annoyed with his face. My stomach was also growling because I hadn’t eaten much.

“You’re not mad anymore?” I nodded quickly even though I wanted to say that I was still very angry but then as I said, I do not want to keep this conversation longer because I might lose my temper and hit his face again this time.

He gave a sweet smile and hugged me. I rolled my eyes where he couldn’t see and did not return the hug.

I was the one who broke away from his embrace. Although I didn’t want him touching me now, I knew he would persist and become a headache so I just let him.

“Are you hungry? You must be. Let’s get some food,” he said, taking my hand and intertwining our palms as we walked towards the canteen.

For him, everything seemed fine, but for me, there was lingering doubt whether I should give him another chance. I’m not sure if I can be with him right now, especially considering all the mistakes he has made towards me.

Despite feeling disgusted and wanting to break free from his grasp, I chose not to act on it and allowed him to continue holding onto me, much like before.

My mind wandered again. Is it considered being a martyr when I knowingly allow myself to be deceived by my boyfriend and still remain in his hands?

I stopped entertaining such thoughts. I am not a martyr, and I will never be. It will be such a disappoinment for mtself that I let a man controlled me and just hurt me like that. Never.

For now, I will allow myself to be in his presence, but I can no longer offer him my complete trust.

With all those sign that I've seen amd once that all of it is true, I will not give him a second chance one my doubt is right. I won't let him enter my life again.

I am unable to expose myself to him, as it would only result in my trust being shattered and broken. This is kinda annoying, to be honest. I really want a something new to happen that I deserve. Not these all negative energies that I freaking recieve this days.

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