CHAPTER SIX
I made my decision over the night. The pack house is the highest building in Silver moon pack, going up to seven stories tall. No one would survive a fall so high. I’d made my research many times, and what better time to execute my plans than now? I could get to the roof of the building through the back emergency staircase.
I was hurting while my mate pleasured himself in between another woman’s legs, and when the morning comes, I’ll have to bear the Alpha’s whip and punishment for being in his house. My wolf whimpered, too weak to lead me on or talk me out of it because of what she was going through.
My hands shook as I held on to my pen, tears dripping down my eyes and my free arm clutching my stomach. Do I really need to pen down a suicide note? Ailana is the only one that would be hurt by my decision and I needed to put something down to ease her pain. I’d thought this day will come, and I have held back way too long, mostly because of her, but I can’t survive one more day in Silver Moon pack.
When the pain lessened a bit, I picked a pen and started scribbling my last words on a paper before the pain kicked in again. I had a message for the alpha and his Luna, I had a message for my mate, a word for Zella, and the other pack members, but I left the last for Ailana. Hopefully, she finds the note first.
I'm not fully recovered, my body was still bruised all over and who knows what the alpha will do to me when the morning comes? My body will not be able to take anymore torture, and if I was going to die, then I have a chance to do it on my terms. After all I have been through in the last years, I deserved to give myself that.
I proceeded with caution out of my room, quickly making my way to the back of the pack house. When I found the stairs that lead to the rooftop, it was thankfully not locked. My legs shook, and tears welled up in my eyes again. Since the door was unlocked, it meant there was at least one warrior on duty stationed at the rooftop to oversee the environs incase of an intruder. I pressed myself into the shadows and closed my eyes, saying a silent prayer to the moon goddess, praying not to get caught and asking her to accept my unclean soul.
Finally at the top of the stairs, I peeked through the door to notice a warrior at the South Pole. He seems to be asleep. What manner of negligence… I shook my head.
My body has never shook as much as it did now. It was cold outside, but I was sweating all over. It’s easier thinking of it than actually doing it, but I consoled myself with the fact that it’s going to bring me peace.
“Hey!” I whipped my head to see the guard had gotten up “What are you doing, Slave?” he boomed. I gasped but didn’t wait one more second, I made a run for it.
The warrior sprinted after me. He was stronger, and faster, and he caught me by my sleeves a few inches from the edge of the rooftop. I proceeded to battle with him afterwards, but I lacked the skills and training that he had. He overpowered me in seconds, pinning me to the ground with his knees and his gun trained at me.
“What the fuck do you think you are doing, Slave?” he snarled.
“Pull the trigger,” I said with a mocking smile. I’d just been on the verge of ending my life and he thinks I’d be scared of his stupid gun? I want to fucking die, and at this point, I don’t care by what means. I just want all of it to end. “Kill me!” I screamed.
As if just realizing his foolishness, he retrieved his gun and shoved it into his pockets, but not releasing me. “I don’t care if you die or live, but if you are going to kill yourself, not on my watch. I can’t get into trouble for you worthless idiot,” he hissed.
“You are not going to get into any trouble from letting me die, you fat fuck. No one cares about –“ his large fists landed on my face before I could complete the statement, smacking my head to the side.
“What gives you the audacity to talk to me like that, you bloody bastard!” he snarled “I’ll remove every single teeth in your mouth first, one after the other, then cut out your tongue and gouge your eyes out of its sockets. Maybe after that, I’ll leave you to bleed to death. That’s a more interesting way to die don’t you think?”
I shuddered, and a smirk spread across his lips “Maybe I can taste you before then,” he said, “I bet you are still intact down there. I’ll like to shove my cock into that tight hole of yours, pleasure you before killing you. I think that’s a better idea. It will be a shame for you to just waste away,”
I struggled to release myself from his hold as I caught a glimpse of his rising bulge “Let go of me,” I warned, but my voice shook.
“What is this?” The harsh voice of Alpha Thane boomed from behind us. The warrior moved swiftly, lifting me from the ground with my hands still held in his, behind my pack and pushing me forward to stare into the alpha’s cold, merciless eyes.
His eyes were glowing red with anger, and his alpha aura filling the open air. In his left hand, he held a piece of paper. I closed my eyes briefly and swallowed hard as I recognized the paper in his hand.
I have to give it to myself for being the most unfortunate, hapless, ill-fated, and luckless person on earth.
“Alpha,” The warrior bowed “she tried to jump down the building,”
“What is this?” he snickered with irritation. I’d never have thought Alpha Thane will be the first to find my note. He never visited my room and I didn’t even believe he knows where it’s located. If he wanted to punish me, he’d send his thugs to come fetch me.
I bet his wife had told him about me being in their house the day before and he’d had a different kind of punishment for me in his mind. He’d come to fetch me himself, on the same morning I tried to kill myself. If unlucky were a person, it’ld be me.
“Alpha-“ the words stuck in my throat.
“On your knees,” he commanded. The warrior kicked me behind my knees, sending me to the ground.
“We feed you. We accommodate you. We tolerate your incompetence. You breathe our air! You treacherous bastard! And you think you have a right to decide what to do with your life?” he brawled, taking slow calculated steps towards me.
“You belong to me, Slave. I bought you. I own you. I’ll tell you when to breath and when not to breathe,” he hissed.
I trembled at his command, goose bumps washing over my skin. He spread the note out, reading some of its contents out loud, and a hollow laugh followed after each statement. He squashed the paper in his hands angrily, squatting down to meet my eye level. But I could never look my alpha in the eye, no matter the situation
“Open your mouth,” he says slowly. I obeyed his command immediately, parting my mouth slightly.
He smirked, then held my head in place with one hand and shoved the note roughly into my mouth till I gagged.
“You ungrateful peasant,” he huffed “Chew,”
My eyes were red from too much crying already, but more tears flowed freely to my cheeks. He gripped my jaw hard, his claws elongating to pierce my skin. “Eat it you fucking bastard. Eat those words you wrote,”
I started slowly, chewing the paper bit by bit and crying as I did. They’d broken me in many ways but wouldn’t even let me die. My wolf was broken, my world was shattered, and I’d never be able to find a way out. Alpha Thane was right. My life belonged to him and he could do to me as he pleased.
“Since you want to die, I’ll grant your wish,” he said finally while I continued to chew the paper that contained what was supposed to be my last words.
“I’ll let you die but it has to be on my terms,” he smiled wryly, stretching back to his full height. “Take her to the dungeons. The smallest cell. Lock her in. Leave her without water or food. Let her die of starvation,” he instructed.
I tried to beg, but I remembered begging him will further set him off, and I still had my note in my mouth, I can’t afford to stop chewing while he was still watching.
The guard saluted before picking me off from the ground and pulling me with him down the stairs and towards the dungeons. For the second time in one week, I was to be held prisoner in the pack dungeons. I cried all the way there, while the warrior rained curses on me.