Chapter 8
“Valerie, I asked for those files on the Nexo product line ten minutes ago, where are they?” I hold the intercom button on my phone on my desk, for my secretary. My tone harsh and snappy. Irritated that even after five years as my assistant she doesn’t understand how much her slowness annoys me. She’s efficient in so many ways but when it comes to moving with speed, she is aggravatingly snail like. Maybe it’s time I switch her out for another because I have no patience the older I get and my last was fired for a similar reason.
“I’m sorry, Vice president Park, I’m right on it.” The waver in her voice calms my inner anger, knowing that she is easily intimidated by me, and I exhale heavily and slump back in my seat. Spinning around to view the city skyline from up here and facing another grey and wet day that covers most of the buildings in smog. My mood is so so, like any day of my existence these past years and I stare blankly into the nothingness, feeling like it could be a reflection or a self-portrait if I were a painter. If I had to assign an image to my inner voice it would look a lot like this city on a miserable day in August.
“Valerie, Is my husband back in the office yet?” I add in afterthought, leaning sideways to reach it this time, after catching sight of the funding approval report for one of his investments laid on top of the pile I have yet to get to. He’s been waiting for the accounting department to finish with it and go through me for approval, and I know he’ll want it pronto.
“Yes, ma’am. He walked by a few minutes ago.”
I tap my finger on the file and contemplate taking it to him, knowing he needs it, but not relishing a cold start to my day. We work together, we see each other daily because we can’t avoid it, but he’s long been a distant presence to me, and I don’t relish forcing conversation today of all days. I’m not in the mood for walking on eggshells and being made to feel worthless by his complete lack of interest in me, yet something deep inside of me wants to break the ice and see him. I know I shouldn’t, it’s pointless but my soul is crying out for him. It’s this stupid cycle, knowing it will only disappoint me, but I yearn for him.
Who knew that marrying him would only give me seven short months of possibility for happiness and then die a death as quickly as it began? Fate really hated my guts when she delivered me into this body and made me Sohla Kim.
I gaze at it blankly; all thoughts falling out of my head and know I’m only like this today because of the date, and I’m apprehensive because I’m more sensitive than normal. If it wasn’t for it being today I would make my assistant take it to him and avoid him at all costs.
I push down the hesitation and stand up, taking it with me and head out to go see him. Swallowing down pointless emotions that I don’t need and pushing thoughts aside that only serve to hurt me. It’s not who I am or how mother raised me this past decade. I’m stronger than that and I won’t show weakness even when I’m broken inside. She taught me well in this cutthroat society in which we exist, that as women we need to be stronger, fiercer, colder, than any man, if we are to succeed in the corporate world.
She helped me focus all my pain of my losses on work and being perfect. Polished and moulded me into something most women envy and I became a walking and breathing female version of Mr Park, before he passed away five years ago. All he lived for was work, status, and respect, and I became the same. Taking his place and helping my husband push OLO into world domination is my only goal in life now.
Jyeon’s project is a big investment with billions of dollars of our money on the line, nothing matters more than that today and that’s all I should think about. Not even this death anniversary that I know he won’t want to remember or care about anyway. In fact, three years ago, he made it blatantly clear that he never wanted me to mention it again in his presence or he would divorce me on the spot. Looking back; divorce would probably have been easier to accept than how we live now. Then again, we didn’t marry for love, we married for this, and everything we have, so why would we divorce over something so trivial. OLO is bigger than us and our problems.
I strut out and confidently walk across the main foyer between our penthouse offices looking unphased even if I’m feeling fragile. Passing Yoonha’s on the way and noting he’s still out and about doing Director related tasks. My feet are killing me in my new heels, and I catch Yoonha’s secretary admiring me from her own desk and checking out my new cream Louis Vuitton dress and jacket that looks killer on my slim body.
The only things in life that give me any kid of joy are finding nice clothes that catch people’s eye and achieving great things in this empire that no other woman in my field has accomplished. It’s all I live for, seeing as everything else carries only emptiness and hurt.