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I am scared

"Hey Beth, wake up," a voice screamed, waking me from my dreams.

"Oh, Mee Maw, thank goodness you are here," I said, hugging her tightly.

"It's okay, darling. You really don't have to cry. Mama's here now," Mee Maw said, reassuring me as I calmed down. It was just a nightmare, no biggie.

"Mind sharing, sweetie?" Mee Maw asked with worry laced in her tone, and I took a deep breath as I battled with my thoughts, whether or not to share with her.

"I think you should," Crazy Beth explained, "she is always there and the only person you can talk to right now who would understand you," and I decided to let Grandma know.

"Mee Maw," I called with a shaky tone, and she scooted even closer to me as she sat on my bed, her arms laced around my shoulders.

"What is it, dear?" She asked gently, and I took ages before replying, but she was so calm about it, no worry, waiting patiently until I was ready to voice out, and I really appreciated her for that.

"I am scared," I began, and she looked confused.

"Why, dear?" She asked, and I turned to look away from her. "Is it because you just found your mate?" She asked again, but I still didn't reply, and what she did next melted my heart. She took me into her arms and hugged me tightly.

"Oh, dear, it's alright to be afraid. I completely understand. I was afraid too when I just met your Abulo when we were very much younger," she explained while still having me in her embrace.

All of a sudden, I felt teary and didn't even know when I let my guard down and burst into tears in her arms, but she didn't budge, she kept consoling me by rubbing my back and stroking my hair with her other hand.

"It's not just that, Mee Maw," I called out in tears. "I am scared he would reject me," I told her finally voicing out my real fears.

She gently released me from her embrace and took my face gently into her palms before asking.

"Why would you think that, Beth?" She asked, feeling totally lost, I guess, and I sighed.

"You are one of the most caring, beautiful, gentle, and lovely ladies I have seen, my dear," She praised, and I chuckled at the gentle part she mentioned. I was totally the opposite of gentle.

"Who would be crazy enough to reject you?" She asked.

"Carson Gray, actually," I whispered mentally, and Crazy Beth sighed.

"I agree with Mee Maw," she said. "Maybe you are just overthinking things," she added, and I shut her out instantly. I wasn't overthinking things. I was damn sure about what I thought. Carson Gray won't bat an eyelid before rejecting me. Besides, my dream just proved it, I thought, and Crazy Beth groaned in frustration, but I couldn't care less. I was doing this for the sake of both of us, not just mine alone.

"Why would you think so?" Mee Maw asked again, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Because, Mee Maw, I am not in his league. I don't belong in his class," I explained, and she just gave me an "I don't see a big deal in that" look. I groaned. I was the frustrated one now.

"Mee Maw," I called out, frustratingly, and she asked.

"What?"

"Say something and stop giving me that look," I pleaded, and she laughed. 'What was funny right now?' I wondered. This was like a moment of crisis.

"My dear, you are funny," she said. "And who told you you don't belong in his class?" She asked, and I gave her a look of disbelief. She seriously wasn't asking me this kind of question.

"She sure is," Crazy Beth replied.

"Mee Maw," I called out, exhausted. "I don't need anyone to tell me that I don't belong in his class. I know myself because I actually have brains to figure it out," I explained to her in case she was forgetting, but all she did was keep smiling. Now I had to begin to wonder. 'Is Mee Maw okay?'

"Of course she is, dummy. She probably doesn't see any reason for you to freak out about finding your mate," Crazy Beth explained, and I felt like I was about to go out of my mind. Why was I the only one thinking this way?

"Because you are Beth, and a crazy one?" Crazy Beth replied uncertainly, and I immediately wished she was visible so I could punch her.

"Hey, easy on that thought," she warned.

"You are the one crazy. That's why your name is Crazy Beth, remember?" I asked, trying to help her regain her memories because it seemed like it was lost.

"And you were the one who gave me that irritating nickname, remember?" She threw back, and I growled, attracting Mee Maw's attention.

"I guess you and Crazy Beth are at it again?" She asked, more like a statement. I nodded, and she laughed.

"When will you two ever get along?" She asked.

"In the next full moon," Crazy Beth whispered.

"So, as I was saying," Mee Maw began, having my rapt attention. "I think you are overthinking this, dear," she explained, and I gasped. 'Why is everyone saying this?' I wondered.

"How, Mee Maw?" I asked. "I know what I am saying. This guy is way above my league, a big-time jerk, and not only that, he is also not the type of mate I have always envisioned for myself," I explained.

"Maybe you are just assuming things, dear. Besides, the Moon Goddess never gives us what we ask for; she gives us the unexpected, which always turns out to be the best choice," Mee Maw explained, but I didn't agree.

"No, Maw Mee. I saw the guy myself and how rude he was to my colleague. He seems like the type who looks down on people," I said, trying to make her understand what I meant.

"Seems?" She asked. "You are assuming, my dear," she told me, and I sighed.

"So what is your plan?" She asked.

"To never let him find out about me," I replied, and she just sighed tiredly.

"Do whatever you wish; it's your choice, but I hope it won't be too late before you realize the right thing to do," she said, and I scoffed inside. She was wrong. I was already doing the right thing.

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