On the inside

Sandra

He was smirking at me. I was afraid but I knew not to show him that. Even with all the hell Ry had caused me since he changed, he had once taught me what to do in a situation like this one. "Glad you know my name as clearly, Smoke is not yours," I said quietly looking him directly in his eyes. Blue eyes, not blue like the sky as most pretty boys adorne.. more dark and deep like the jacket the beast wears in that one Disney fairy tale most girls watch as a child. I always loved that one. I felt my breathing change and willed myself to look away from him. He looked at me curiously and smiled again. "Brave little cops wife," He said smiling. I didn't say a word. "Listen, darling, I have no intention of hurting you. Your hubby has become quite the pain in my ass. He walks around this city with that badge acting like a new king rising, pretending to be some kind of hero. When he is just as bad.." he paused and looked me up and down, not in the usual way a man would, but almost with pity "if not worse than me and my brotherhood". I didn't understand what he meant by worse. My husband was a hero to the city working hard every day to protect it. The fact that he had a temper and puts his hands on me sometimes was unknown to everyone else. "He is a hero in this city, Smoke, what the hell are you talking about?" I said his name sarcastically rolling my eyes, still trying to hide my fear..which surprisingly got easier when he spoke. "Silly girl. He sells more drugs and uses more than I ever have," he said sternly but still smirking at me.

"WHAT???" I couldn't tell if I was confused or angry. He looked at me with more pity. "Quit looking at me like that," I said under my breath. He stood there in front of the gate that covered the door and looked down at the floor. Smoke had to be about 6'3 all muscle and brawn. I could tell he was highly intelligent by the way he presented himself. Tribal tattoos on his arms followed up to his neck. I found myself wondering how far the tattoo ran down the other way but shrugged it off. I studied him more. He looked tired. Very tired. He had dimples which took something away from his intimidation. He had dark hair and about a 5-day stubble on his face to match. I could faintly see a scar that ran through his eyebrow down to his cheekbone. He was beautiful. I had a strong temptation to touch him. To feel his large hands on my body. Stop It Sand The silence was killing me so I spoke again. I had to get out of my head. The fantasy. "Smoke, please tell me what you mean. " He didn't speak just looked at his buddy, I think he called him Zeus and motioned for him to follow him. The men he had guarding the door were silent. They wouldn't even glance my way. There was a bed in the room. Must be where they had let me sleep off the drugs they gave me. There was bottled water in a small refrigerator and snacks. There was a vanity covered in almost anything a woman might need. How long had they planned to bring me here

He even had a coffee pot with my favorite coffee there. Suddenly I couldn't breathe. I could hear my heart pounding in my chest and my ears were ringing. I cried out. I almost passed out and fell to the floor. I heard the gate swing open and I felt someone put their arms around me tightly. "Are you okay? " he whispered in my ear. There was a brown bag shoved in my face and before I could realize it. I flinched. "Breathe into it, darling. Slow and easy. It will help you." I did as he said slowly starting to feel better. When he noticed I was feeling better, he gently put me on the bed. He stood up slowly, walking towards the door. He looked almost worried. Like seeing my mini panic attack put a small dent that pretty armor men like him wear. I continued to take in deep breaths and release them slowly. The world that was suddenly spinning began to still again. " Listen" I could barely get out the word, " I freaked out for a minute, im okay." Why was I reassuring this man? He kidnapped me. Has me locked up in some sort of makeshift jail cell. He is a criminal. I have heard of the brotherhood. The gang that Ry has been chasing for months. This guy smoke, he must be the mysterious leader. "He's chasing you." It came out before I realized it. Smoke seemed to smirk at me and suddenly he looked more concentrated. " You can't catch Smoke, darling, it just slips through your fingers," he said through his smile as he walked out the gate. I heard the lock engage. Suddenly I got a chill that ran down my spine. I shook it off, looked back up and he was gone. Just the mute guards stood by the door.

What had he meant by he was worse? Ryan, selling drugs, doing drugs, that seemed unimaginable to me. I wasn't even allowed alcohol. Always had to choose the water when we went out to dinner. This man I have known since college could not be the one he describes. He is mistaken. He was a monster to meat times but he was a hero to the city. He was the future I had planned for myself. The good guy with the good job doing the good things. No, he wasn't a good husband, but he was a good cop. No, I don't believe him. He must be wrong. Mistaken. My stomach was betraying me with hunger. I slowly walked over to the small refrigerator they had left in the room. Inside were all my favorite snacks. Even the ones I kept hidden from Ry. I had always heard the brotherhood had reached but that was impressive. I grabbed a small ham sandwich and willed myself to eat some. A few bites eased the pain in my stomach so I threw the rest away. Seemed like hours just sitting in that room. Luckily there was a small bathroom with a shower in the next little room. When I walked in I noticed my shampoo brand sitting on the shelf. This was all getting scary. How does he know so much about me? I decided I would demand to speak with Smoke again. I was exhausted so I laid down on the bed. It was a very comfortable bed. It had to be getting late. I unwillingly drifted off to sleep.

You slept without me again sweet Sandy I jumped awake fully expecting to be on my couch. I was still in the room. I was shakey and sweaty. I was truly a mess. I didn't want to shower. Washing off the makeup may give Smoke the idea that I'm a weak battered woman. I can assure him I am not. I am someone who has learned to survive. I am positive I can show him that if he dares to open that door. This time I will Attack. This time I will get out.

I lay staring up at the white spackling on the ceiling. This room was recently worked on. I had a lot of questions in my mind. A man like Smoke or whatever his name was might respect a sit-down discussion. If I tried. I don't really wanna go home but I don't want to be stuck here with these criminals either. I don't want to hear their lies. I don't want to feel their pity. Poor little Sandy didn't know her husband was a fraud, but I do know. I know better than anyone. I watched him change throughout the years. I watched his smile fade and his character harden. I had seen the sweet soul I fell in love with disappear. He was paranoid and insecure. He didn't trust anyone. He was narcissistic and cruel. He wasn't the hero he pretended to be at the banquet. He was downright scary in his anger. I had learned to deal with it. I couldn't leave him. I couldn't escape him. I was stuck, caged in the Burd house, and I had learned to survive. I learned on my own. I wore the battle scars. How dare these criminals look at me with pity.

I sat up and went to get some water. I sat in the vanity chair and looked into the mirror. I almost didn't recognize the woman looking back at me. At 25 I looked more like I was 40. All that surviving had sure aged me. I hadn't seen anyone from my home town in so long. I imagined they wouldn't recognize me. I don't recognize myself. I went to college here in upstate New York and met Ryan. I chose to leave the little town of Ohio in the past. After my father passed, I had no reason to return. I used to keep in touch with my friends down there, but Ryan had a problem with my social media accounts. He also found fault in all my "small-minded friends". I did miss Takara the most. I sometimes wonder where she is now. It had been a few years since I heard from her. Maybe I would ask Smoke for a tablet or computer so I could look her up. what are you thinking Sand, he isn't there to help you I sighed and looked closer into the mirror. Oh shit. I could see some of the bruising on my face. Is that why they were looking at me like that? Do they feel sorry for me?

"Can't sleep?" He asked almost nicely as he appeared from the hallway shadows.