Forgotten Emotions
Giana and Mike had made it to a little lake that was at the edge of her moms property. The lake was quiet and the waves hitting the shore made a relaxing sound. Giana found the lake after she realized her dad was never coming back. Her mother knew it was there but never went there. They tied the horses up and sat on the pier. Giana just looked out over the water and just couldn't wrap her head around all her emotions. Mike stood back giving the horses water and giving Giana a minute to herself.
After a while Mike went over and sat next to Giana. Giana looked up with her tear streaked face and buried her head into Mike's chest. Mike had a feeling he knew what was causing her pain but instead of asking he just sat there and hugged her. Mike was there for Giana most of her life. He stepped into the father role for her without meaning to. He loved having those memories with her.
“Why do I still let those people hold that much of my emotions? It's not fair I dont deserve them coming in and out as they please. It hurts and pisses me off all at the sametime.” Giana said, throwing her tears. Her face was red and her eyes puffy. She looked at Mike as if he had all the answers but he didn't. Truthfully he had talked to Roslynn after the divorce and knew what she suspected but it wasn't his place to tell Giana it was her mothers.
“GiGi only you can release those feelings. What brought this all up? Did something happen in town?” Mike asked how hurt she was.
“No it wasn't anything in town. I got a letter from Tia Sofia. The woman hasnt spoken to me in years and suddenly she's sending me letters. Why do they come out at the most random times? My father dropped us like we did not exist and then they did to so why bother?” Giana sat up and punched the pier with her leg.
“Its an asshole move if you ask me. I'm happy and I'm an adult now. I never needed anything from them and my mother sure as hell never asked them for anything. So what the hell does she want now?” Giana continued.
“Did you open the letter Gi or tell your mom yet?” Mike asked and Gianas reaction gave him his answer. She huffed and shook her head no.
“I don't want to tell mom. She's got alot going on with divas 1 and 2 so I'm not going to bother her with it. I just don't get it. When I wanted answers none of them were there. The last memory I have with my so-called father is the day before he left. Remember he took me to the circus and we ate so much junk food that I had a stomach ache all night.” Giana smiled and then dropped her head.
“But even then the next morning when I still didn't feel good it was you who helped mom care for me. She went to work and you stayed with me. The bastard never even really said goodbye. He got up, left for work and never came back. My mom had to tell us what happened to him. I can never forgive him or his family for the damn pain they caused me. My sisters didn't care but I DID he was my father, my hero, how can someone just leave their god damn kids behind. A complete piece of shit that's who.” Giana went on.
Once giana stopped Mike took her chin in his hand and turned her to him. He grabbed a rag from his back pocket, wiped her tears and took a deep breath.
“Giana have you ever thought of forgiving them? Not for them but for you…You've been carrying all that pain since you were 10 years old. You know you've never needed him or any of them. You're an amazing young woman and I've had the honor of watching you learn and grow. As hard as it is, maybe this letter can be your way of finding closure. Take those emotions and write her back telling her what you've told me…maybe just not a colorful” Mike laughed and hugged her. Giana rarely ever cussed and never in front of him or her mom.
“But how? How do I write to someone that they abandoned me and I don't have any need from them and not to contact me? How do I not say my father doesn't exist to me since he not only broke his little girl's heart but he destroyed the image of a man I always thought he was. How do I even begin to forgive when I'm still filled with so much hate and pain? How do I not write back and say I never needed them or my father bc I had the best role model I could ever have and he got me through every milestone, sickness and heartbreak.” Giana seemed to have more questions than answers.
“I've always told you honesty is the key right?” Mike asked Giana and she nodded yes. “ Then GiGi that's what you do. You decide if you want to read the letter but if you don't want to at least write to them and get it off your chest. You don't even have to send it. You hold the key to your life not them.” Mike reminded her. Just then Mikes phone began to ring he took his phone out and saw it was Roslynn so he quickly answered.
“Mike is Giana with you?” Roslynn sounded frustrated.
“Yes Ma’am she is. She wanted to go riding and I hate when she goes alone so I went with her like old times. Everything okay?” Mike replied.
“Thank you for that. You know I hate her wandering around on MAjestic alone. Can I please speak with her?” Roslynn stated. Mike handed the phone to Giana as she gave him a questioning look and he shrugged his shoulders.
“Hey mom whats up? Im just out at the lake with Mike it's beautiful this time of year. Everything okay?” Giana tried to sound as cheerful as she could.
“No I'm fine honey. I'm calling to ask what happened to your phone? I got home and it shattered and soaking wet in the kitchen. Was there an accident in the barn or on your way home? I was just worried is all.” Roslynn asked, having a feeling she already knew the answer. Giana was extremely responsible and would never do anything to her stuff to damage it.
“My phone was on my desk in my room, not in the kitchen. I didn't even stop in the kitchen. I put my stuff away and put my phone on my desk to charge and went straight to the stables. Are you sure it's mine?” Giana was now upset because she knew where she left her phone.
“Yes it's definitely yours. It had the clear case with the picture of you and me as well as the picture of you and Mike at your graduation dinner. Are you sure?''Roslynn was now more irritated and planned on asking her other two daughters about it.
Giana looked at Mike and they both got up and headed for their horses. “Mom was on our way back.” Giana hung up not even letting her mom say anything more. She handed the phone to Mike and hopped on her horse. Mike followed more confused than ever. Both horses took off as fast as they could.