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Unloved Daughter

Amarah's Point of View

I'm Amarah Swan, by the way. I am currently studying at Ford University.

I have felt alone all my life, even though my friends were there. But they weren't enough because I had so many questions for myself. Since I was young, I didn't think that my father loved me.

He is the only person I have been with because I never knew my mother since I was young. After all, she left us. Maybe that's the reason why he's so angry with me. He took all his anger at my mother out on me. But even so, I still love him very much.

Since I was young, I didn't feel his love, but I still don't lose hope that he will see me as his daughter one day.

"Why only now?" he asked me earnestly.

He was frowning, and his face was severe, asking me. I knew his next step was to approach me and hurt me.

He grabbed my arm tightly and dragged me towards the living room.

"When did you learn to violate me, Amarah? When?!" he yelled at me.

"Dad, please let me explain," I begged.

"Didn't I say that you were at home before 8 pm? Why are you disobeying me now?" he asked angrily.

"Dad, we did a group project with my classmates, so coming home took me a while. I promise it won't happen again," I started crying while saying this.

"Yes, It won't happen again because from now on, you won't be a student anymore!" he told me angrily.

I was astonished by what I heard from him. I did not expect him to be able to stop me from studying just because he was angry.

"Dad," I roared.

"Please don't do this to me," I begged.

"My decision is complete. Find a job so you can help me with the expenses here at home. I no longer want you to be a burden in my life."

He stormed out and violently closed the door. I was left standing and dumbfounded by what he said.

I just sat on the sofa and couldn't stop myself from crying. I held my chest because I was having trouble breathing at that time.

"Why are you doing this to me, Dad?" I asked, crying.

I cried for a few days before I accepted my father's decision. What he did to me was so painful, but my love for him still prevailed.

I just trained myself to do home chores all day.

I also got used to receiving my father's preach every night.

He always comes home drunk, and scolding me has become his favorite. I just let everything he said slip into my ear. Nothing is new, but I still don't stop praying that he will change his attitude toward me one day. One day I would at least feel that he loves me.

"Dad, the food is ready on the table. Eat now," I gently told him.

"I will eat if I want, so don't order me!" he answered me in a loud voice.

He was drunk again, and I just understood him. I said goodbye and went into the room to rest. But I stopped when he called my name.

"Amarah!"

I immediately asked him if he would give me any orders.

"What is that, Dad? Are you going to order something from me?" I asked.

"Have you found a job?!" he asked firmly.

"N—Not yet, because they don't accept applicants without a diploma," I stammered.

"Worthless! That's why I stopped you from studying so you could help with the expenses here at home. But until now, you're still a burden!" he shouted.

I could hardly breathe because my chest was so tight. I wanted to cry in front of him at that time. But I had to hold back my tears because I knew he would only get angrier with me.

"Give me a little more time, Dad," I gently told him.

"You have given me nothing but trouble!" he yelled at me and went up the stairs to his room.

I took a deep breath to calm myself down. I don't know where I got the courage to accept my father's harsh words.

The next day I woke up early to prepare breakfast.

I want to show my father that I can help him, not even financially.

"Good morning, Dad. Your breakfast is ready," I greeted, smiling at him when I saw him descending the stairs.

He looked at me with a severe face and sat down in front of the table.

"Make me some coffee!" he ordered.

I quickly went to the kitchen to make him coffee. I took a cup and filled it with coffee powder, and poured hot water over it.

"Here's your coffee, Dad," I said with a smile and placed the cup on the table.

He didn't even say a word and put the cup of coffee down. I couldn't help but feel nervous while waiting for what he would say.

"Eat with me first," he said thoughtfully.

I smiled at what he said and sat next to him. I ate slowly.

"I want you to find a job today. You need to find a job today, or else I will be forced to throw you out of the house," he said thoughtfully.

I was shocked by what he said to me. I'm used to being hurt by him whenever he gets angry. But I can't believe he can throw me out of this house.

"Dad, it's not that easy to find a job. I haven't graduated from college yet," I told him emotionally.

"I'm already in debt; you should help me!" he raised his voice again.

"There is no shame in life!"

As usual, he stormed out of the house again.

I don't fully understand why he treats me like this. I'm not a robot to obey everything he wants; I'm his daughter.

I looked for my best friend Trixie's number on my phone. I need her help to find a job. I need an appointment today or will sleep on the street later.

"Hello, Trix. Please help me now," I started crying.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked me worriedly.

Before I could answer his question, I couldn't stop my tears.

"I heard that you don't go to school anymore. Do you intend to stop?" she asked.

She didn't know what had happened because I wouldn't let her know. I want to keep the problem to myself because I don't want her to suffer from my father's anger. But I need her help now to find a job.

"Yes, Dad stopped me, and I need your help to find a job," I told her.

She was shocked by what I said and scolded me. But I made her understand that I had no choice but to follow my father's wishes.

"I have no choice because that's what Dad wants," I said emotionally.

"How long will you put up with your father? Why don't you leave your house?" she asked one after another.

"Do you think I can do that? You know how much I love my father, right?" I asked her firmly.

I heard her sigh on the other line of the phone.

I smiled when she agreed to accompany me to look for a job.

I immediately left with my Resume in the Envelope. We went around the entire shop inside the Mall. But not even one accepted me. When we left and went to fast food, they rejected my application.

I want to cry while thinking about what will happen when I get home. I'm sure my father will kick me out because I failed to find a job.

Around 5 pm, I arrived in front of the house. My feet were heavy as I walked towards the door. I opened it slowly, and I was startled by what I saw.

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