CHAPTER 1

LILY'S POV

He hurts me. He hurts me alot. He hurts me alot and He doesn't even have to touch me to do it. I can't wait to be eighteen years old so I can finally be free from him and live on my own.

He calls me ugly so much and I find it hard to believe the mirror that tells me otherwise.

"You are not enough and you will never be. It's only a matter of time before your whole life falls apart and you end up like her! You are good for nothing!" These are the words He spews, no matter how hard or how much I try to impress him.

My colleagues in school always mouth off the pleasant experiences they have at home; nice summer trips with their parents, parties with friends, but my case is different. I don't even get encouraged for making the best grades, if I score below eighty percent for once, I get whipped by him.

Touching my skin as I shower, the lesion coils in different areas. I can't feel any pain anytime I hurt myself because all I think about is "him" in front of me at that moment. I can't injure him physically so I just hurt myself instead, that is the only way I find solace when I'm sad.

"No matter what he does, Mom can't say anything." The same way he has control over her, is the same way he controls me. Mrs Gilford is a drug addict and a drunk.

I have tried my best as her daughter to make her stop but everything I do seems fruitless. I can't really blame her because she needs the drugs to take her mind off everything.

He argues with her everyday, hits her occasionally, and she can't report him to the police because she is afraid that she'll get implicated either as a drug addict, a drunkard or a crappy Mom . I don't like the idea of living in a foster home either, so the only thing I can do is endure till my eighteenth birthday. I have been saving bits of cash since I was five. Sacrificing lunch everyday, I save the pocket money Mom manages to give me from what she earns before she uses the rest to drink and buy drugs.

He is an ex military commander whose trauma will not let him love my mother the way she deserves to be loved. He won a purple heart during the war before he retired and that earned him so much influence in Tudor city. I would not be mistaken if he is more influencial than the Mayor himself. He spends time hanging out with his military buddies, more than he spends time with his own family and he expects my Mom to show him love and respect when he returns home.

"Ah heck! I dropped the soap again." The soap gets real slippery anytime I take my mind away from bathing.

I have a best friend, if you must know, Laura. She is my go-to person anytime he hurts me.

I usually go to her house to spend time after school to run away from the horrible energy at home. She is always there for me despite the fact that I refuse to open up to her anytime she inquires about my well-being. She has been so nice to me right from the first day she saw me crying in the lavatory at school. I left the house that morning while He was in a very violent argument with my Mom. He had beat her up with the nearest item he could find and all I could do was stand there and watch. When I couldn't bear it anymore, I ran off to school crying for being such a coward instead of standing up for my Mom. She is the reason I am still living in the house, I need to take care of her despite her flaws. She is a good person but she doesn't really know the right thing to do and I can't judge her. She has tried her best to bring me up and provide everything I need. She goes extra miles to make sure that my fees are paid disregarding the maltreatment she gets from him.

Sometimes I wish my parents were like hers; When I was little, I thought all families were like mine, not until I met Laura's parents. They encourage her irrespective of the fact that she is struggling below average with her grades in school. They explore nice places together, eat together and party together.

"I can't even remember the last time I ate with Mom, talk less of eating in the dinning", I hide in my room all the time.

I have spent longer than I should in this bathroom, "Oh snap!" I'm going to be late to school again.

Rushing out of the bathroom, to get dressed in my room, I hear noises coming from the living room. I pay no mind to it because I know it is the daily quarrel ritual. I get dressed for school and as I do, the noise in the living room intensifies. Eating the bread and cheese hastily, which was my leftover dinner I had preserved in the fridge, I quickly grab my bag pack, ensuring that everything is in place, before walking out of room.

"Lily is no different from you, she is just as useless as you are!"

Trying to run away again and avoiding the usual scene I get to watch everyday, I see his hands on her neck, grabbing it and vehemently squeezing the life out of her. I panic, because it is the first time I have ever seen him do this_ try to actually kill her.

Rushing into the kitchen, grabbing a knife without thinking, I scream and charge at him with my eyes closed and my intent, murder.

I am so furious at him that I don't realize when he moves away from above her. Closing my eyes, I feel the knife I wield pierce into his flesh and make a squelching sound.

"Yes! I got him."

My vision adjust in blurs as I open my eyes slowly. Blood soaks my hand as it gushes out from where my knife stabs, I am niether happy nor sad that I might have just ended his life. Then I hear his voice behind me as loud as the thoughts in my mind.

"What have you done?"

"That's not possible, how am I hearing his voice? Isn't he the one I stabbed?"

My eyes widen as I make out the face of the person I stabbed.

It is Mrs Gilford.

Her semi- lifeless body lays in front of me and the knife in my grip is stuck in her chest. Her cold eyes stare back at me as I helplessly watch the remaining life in her evaporate.

I let go of the knife's grip and whimper, "What have I done?"

"You demon girl, you just killed your mother." He replies to my rhetorical question harshly.

"No! no! no! It can't be!" I felt my whole world crumble in few seconds. I have killed the only person that gave this house some semblance of a home.

"I just knew you were up to no good right from the first day I set my eyes on you."

"Mommy please wake up! Please Mommy wake up! Please," crying silently to my mother, those were the only words I could whimper. I kneel there sobbing and rocking her body gently back and forth, waiting for her to wake up and tell me that nothing is wrong with her_ but nothing happens.

"I want you to kneel down there and think about what you've just done." He said as he stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him. He must have locked the doors or maybe he hasn't, one thing I know for sure is that I can't leave the body of Mrs Gilford here.

I sit there and cry for what seems like an eternity, but in reality, it is just three hours. At the end of the eternity, I walk shakily into my room, reaching the bed side corner, I sit down there, placing my head on my knees with my hands on the back of my neck crying. I couldn't go to school anymore.

I was late and I just made my mother late.

"What could he be doing? What if he does worse to me?"

Realizing that I need to act fast, because I don't have anyone that would support me after knowing that I am a murderer, not even Laura, I quickly grab my bag, stuffing a few clothes inside, picking my entire life savings I had always kept under my bed, getting prepared for his return, I sit and wait in fear, with my hands shaking and legs trembling.

It's getting darker, and still no news from him. I don't think I can wait any longer. In silent speed, I hurry out of my room, and as I pass the kitchen to go out through the back door, I spot my Mom's body.

My heart is broken and I find it difficult to breathe, it is like my chest is about to explode.

"I'm so sorry Mom, I thought I could save you. I didn't know I was really a coward like he had said. I know you can't hear me but I hope you find a place in your heart to forgive me wherever you are right now. If you were alive, you would still want the best for me. I have to go where no one can find me. Goodbye Mom."

Sobbing with my heart throbbing, I walk out of the house, looking left and right ensuring that I haven't been seen by anyone, walking down the front porch, my footsteps quicken, before I know it, I'm running into the darkness of the night. The only thoughts that linger on my mind is, "I am now a fugitive"