Chapter 7

Young and Single

Rowan held on tight to his mobile phone, long after Leticia had hung up. The feelings he thought he could never get ever since Vanessa died, he could feel them again but with Leticia.

He felt what he had deprived himself of for years that night. A sense of hope and confidence,  that his life can still live a normal life.

How could Leticia look so much like Vanessa? He couldn’t just get that thought off his head. She was calm and loving like an angel. Who would have thought he could see Leticia where Vanessa was; what a coincidence.

His mother had been in the room with him for a while but Rowan didn't notice when she entered or how she entered. She just stood there wondering what her once joyful son as turned into because of love. She cleared her throat and this caught Rowan unaware.

“Mother when did you get here?” he asked in shock.

“I been standing here for a while now and here you are doing what you do best for the past two years,” she said.

“Are you stalking me? Not this night please mother I had a very hectic day. I need some time to myself to rest and think.” He snapped.

“Don’t you ever get tired of resting or let me say thinking? How long do you intend to live this way?”

He interrupted, “mum I thought I told you I am tired.”

“Tired of what exactly? Tired from doing what exactly? Please let me know if I am missing something. You didn’t show up at work today and you still claim to be tired. As young and vibrant as you are! You woke up, dressed up and you went to spend your day is the commentary..."

“Mum this is not the right time for us to talk about this. Can we choose another day to talk about this please?”

“There is no better time than today.” There was a knock at the door and it was opened shortly after.

“Tessa is fast asleep and I want you to know the dining has been set for dinner before I take my leave,” Aliyah said almost immediately.

“You are leaving already? why don’t you wait for dinner?” His mother asked, and Round wan protested.

“I don’t think that will be a necessary mother and you have heard from her she is already leaving and it is very late now. It can be very dangerous for her to go home this late.”

“I don’t know why you are this concern, she isn’t complaining, or are you?" His mother asked turning to Aliyah.

“No, I am not. I think I will just wait for dinner then,” Aliyah replied.

“Fuck!”  He spat.

Did she just agree to stay for dinner? That was another round of long and unnecessary conversation.

He sometimes thought Aliyah was giving him much more than he could repay. Ever since he lost his wife she had been like the rock behind him. She stood by him when he needed someone the most but repaying her with what she desired was impossible. He wanted to someday have the courage to tell her that she should move on without him but he always felt guilty to tell her off.

“I will have to wait for you downstairs,” she interrupted.

“Don’t tell me you are staying for real, you have been here for God knows when and you still want to stay? I didn’t pay you for all of these, I am overusing your service,” He tried to sound more formal, hoping she would get the message.

“I am not complaining,” she replied and she left for the dining.

“Is she not beautiful? It will make a lot of sense if you get to be with her. She will be a good wife to you and a good mother to Tessa,” his mother added.

“Yes, Vanessa was beautiful and she would have been a great mother...” Rowan replied instead. He was tired of his mother constantly throwing Aliyah at him.

“Why are you doing this to yourself? Why do you have eyes and you don’t want to see? Why do you keep torturing yourself and Tessa? You choose your wife's death anniversary over your daughter's birthday. How long do you intend to be this selfish? Aliyah has been nothing but helpful and caring to you yet you can’t read the signs."

“Mother, please let us find some other time for this. I need to rest.” He protested.

“Rowan, do you think Vanessa will be happy with the way you are treating her daughter? Do you think her greatest desire is for you to treat yourself this way after her demise? If you don’t think of anybody else think about your daughter. She is too young and innocent for your kind of treatment and I am too old to be doing this with you. Rowan put me into consideration, put your daughter the one the woman you love the most birthed for you into consideration and put Aliyah, the one that has got your back ever since this started into consideration. You are surrounded by lovely people and those who care about you. You should count yourself lucky that your daughter survived it and not blame the poor girl for this. She has no business with your pain. She has nothing to do with it. As your mother, I beg you to leave your daughter out of your pain. If Vanessa was alive she would have wanted the same thing for you, Rowan I beg you to stop this, it is killing me big time!” she said sniffing away the tears that had escaped.

“Mother, I feel your pain but I need some time to figure out it all out. I promise I will make an amendment." He said soberly.

“Don’t you get? Time is what we don’t have here make your decision now and do not make your daughter an enemy. I will leave you for now but if you don’t come down for dinner you will not like what I will do to you," she threatened as she moved away from him to the door.

“But mother I am not hungry I will just have to stay back and catch some sleep.” He grumbled

“You wouldn’t like what I will do to you if you don’t come downstairs in the next five minutes!” She hissed as she closed the door behind her.