Chapter 5: Revelation and Unrestrained
Zaren approached me after locking the door and I gulped my saliva, barely and roughly. I didn’t dare to look at his eyes knowing what would happen tonight. I am scared, yet… excited. Was it really all right for me to feel this way? I closed my eyes, collecting my composure while I found solace when I played with my fingers.
I stiffly greeted him, “Y-Your Grace…”
He halted his steps when he was successfully right in front of me and leaned forward.
“Wife.”
His low, intoxicating voice played in my ears, and I blushed instantly. I couldn’t even get myself to push him away because I was just dumbfounded at his beauty. I covered my cheeks. Out of all the weaknesses I could have, he was the only one I possessed until now.
I leaned backward, unable to stare at him unlike I did previously.
He gently grabbed my arm and supported me to walk towards the bed, then somehow, I ended up sitting on his lap. He was really fast. Now that I am trapped under his arms and gaze, I couldn’t afford to look away, my eyes were on him, even my hands were on his chest, fearing he’d pounce when I let go of them. I feel quite scared and nervous.
I know I had to kill him… however, there was something inside that stopped me from doing so. Maybe I was praying he was just Zhiven and he simply had no recollection of memories in our original world.
When I noticed our situation, I gasped, “… Y-Your Grace, this position is a bit…”
He tilted his head, “A bit?”
“A bit… uhm… awkward.”
He smiled, “How so? We’re husband and wife. Do you regret proposing to me that day?”
“… Tell me, Your Grace. How long have you been holding that letter of marriage? It couldn’t be that you wrote that as soon as I proposed to you since it wouldn’t suffice the timeframe.”
He wrapped his hand around my waist, and I faintly flinched. His touch made me quiver and sent my heart into an inexplicable mess of beating. Really, no matter how powerful I’ll be, I’m weak against him.
“Quite a long time. Three years, I supposed.”
I blinked my eyes, “Your Grace, how old were you then?”
“Eighteen. Why, wife?”
I shook my head. Indeed, my guess was right. He loved Amari but how was I supposed to say that I was not the real one? I couldn’t possibly unveil the truth for him just because I feel so, otherwise my Uncle would definitely not let me off. If I am successful in killing him, then I’d be able to seek Zhiven. Since I am here in this world, perhaps, he’s also here somewhere.
I sighed, “I am… just fascinated by how long you’ve waited for me. If that day I didn’t propose to you, will you do the favor, Your Grace?”
“Amusing, Ari.”
“… Your Grace, why?”
Zaren grabbed a strand of my hair, kissed it, and looked at me intently. His eyes grew colder to which I frowned because he was just looking at me as though I was precious to him. Then again, his eyes turned hostile without a reason. I had to make sure that I behaved quite unrestrained, I even revealed that I killed people earlier so him, not making him suspect me.
“Your Grace, if I offended you in any way—”
“Who are you?”
“…? Your Grace…?”
“You used to call me ‘Renren’ with a bubbly voice, you’d ask me into your house to play with you using wooden swords.”
“…”
“Yet I feel distant from you. Amari, what is it that you want from me?”
He grabbed my wrist, tightening his grasp and I winced. His eyes carried sadness and were filled with coldness. I tried to get away, but his strong force left me no choice but to say.
“Your Grace, I told you I wanted to be your wife. B-but why are you hurting me? I c-couldn’t call you Renren because you’ve become a Duke, you’re a powerful paladin, I am not insolent to call you that publicly.”
I winced, frowning because of the pain inflicted by his grasp. After many attempts, he let go of me.
“Tell me honestly. You came here to kill me, right?”
“Your Grace, why are you uttering such nonsense-“
“It was your Uncle who planted that man earlier in our wedding venue. Don’t tell me you don’t know, wife.”
Despite that he was obviously mad, he was still considerably gentle because the hold he had on my waist was still soft. He saw through me, should I just hide it painstakingly or conceal it, so it ends right here and now? It wouldn’t be my business because he’d die, besides, no one would know because I am a sickly Young Lady of Inlan.
I looked right into his eyes and nodded. “Your Grace, you’re accurate. You’ve seen right through me.”
I flipped my hair, and stood up from his grasp, standing up and flipping my hair. I added, “I do want to kill you, but I could give you a chance to kill me so that I could die from my sins.”
He stood up and smirked at me, saying. “… Why would I kill my wife on our wedding night, particularly?”
He grabbed my waist and bit my neck. I yelped. “You…. what are you doing? Now that you know that I will kill you, why do you insist on doing this?”
I pushed him away, but he grabbed my hands and lifted it above my head. “I just vowed that I’d be loyal to you. Suggest to me what I should do to you, and should I kill your Uncle for planting a useless man?”
How interesting. He knew it was Uncle but he didn’t confront him. My brows wriggled while I racked my brain what to say. Under this pressure and intimidation, I could presumably say that the Living Demon in front of me was, as a matter of fact, cruel. Looking back on how he treated me up to now, he was still holding back from killing me. Therefore, he must have known that I chased him for another reason, rather than because I liked him as a man.
“Your Grace. Don’t kill my Uncle, he was the one who raised me, fed me, and trained me to become a great elementalist.”
I crossed my hands as I stared into his eyes, which perceived me as someone who’d kill him. I opened my hand, summoned the dagger I carried with one of my things and presented it to him.
I smirked, “Your Grace, you’ve already been suspicious of me so why don’t we make a deal?”
“Bargaining, hm. What will I benefit from someone nameless as you?”
I placed the dagger on his hand and added. “I am planning to make my debut as an official elementalist. Through our deal, I’d help you in any way that I could, in exchange, please spare the Inlan family.”
He frowned, throwing the dagger on the floor, and ran his hand over his hair. He didn’t respond to me thus he must have been waiting for me to add more clauses to our deal. In history, I think I was the only one who managed to marry someone I’d kill, got caught, and ended up having a deal with him. This should be recorded in ancient history books; it deserved such commotion for the other generations to come.
I let out a sigh and looked at the bright moon. “I don’t trust my Uncle, either way, Your Grace. I have my own doubts about the family I settled for the past fourteen years. I am Amari, who was thrown away, and insulted because I could not live upon my parents’ name; elementalists.”
When I turned around to look at him again, he seemed to be convinced. He should be because he was the first person I revealed this information to.
“Furthermore, as my parents’ died unjustly, it’s just fair for me to act accordingly- investigate to seek the answer as to why they were killed.”
“So, why did you reveal these things to me?”
I beamed at him with a clasp of my hands, “You know everything no one was aware of. I am certain you trust me, since I trust you, Your Grace.”
“What will you give if I help you?”
“I will do my duties as a wife and a Duchess. Soon when I get the recognition as an official Elementalist, I’ll help you to whatever it may be.”
He leaned forward again, trapping me under his sweet gaze, and a hand that grabbed my chin and pulled me closer to his lips.
Zaren spoke, “Duty as wife, you do know that this is our wedding night.”
I looked down at his lips that was also touching mine and asked, “Please promise that you’d be faithful to me until the end of our contract.”
As such, he kissed my lips quite passionate, different than what he did at the venue. I felt his hand got hotter after the kiss, looking down on me with such desire.
He playfully smirked and lifted me up in his arms, placing me gently on the bed and untying his bathrobe, revealing everything he had, then I bashfully looked away. It might be because he was a Paladin but I felt his body became bulkier than it was. Since I am not sure whether to point out that he was Zhiven, I could only say that some of his attributes awfully resembled him so much.
Probably, I got too carried away by my yearning for Zhiven, I unknowingly wanted for more. And when our bodies collided into one, I held onto him as though I feared he’d die as he did in our world. I knew Zaren was also enjoying this, but a part of me felt this was a sin. If only Zaren was Zhiven, I wouldn’t have to go such extents and means to seek for him.
“… Haa…” I heard Zaren hotly breathed out.
“… Gently… Y-your Grace...”
However, for now, I’d like to believe that the man I am holding onto was my husband. Allow me to indulge in my emotions, just for now.