Chapter 12

It takes me ages to fall asleep that night, my mind jumping back and forth between ways to give the money back– or at least some of the money– with or without Reed on board, and all of the things I want to spend it on. And every now and then, the fact that he asked me to call him by his first name gets thrown into the mix of my jumbled thoughts.

I finally drift off in the early hours of the morning, and the next morning I sleep in until almost noon. Once I do wake, I stretch lazily and relax back into my mattress. I don’t think I have ever been able to just sleep in as late as I wanted to. With Andrew, he would get angry with me if I slept late, calling me lazy and ungrateful, reminding me of all of the more important things I could be doing. Like cleaning up after him, or working overtime shifts to earn more money. More money for him, since he controlled our finances, and I was never allowed to splurge or buy anything other than necessities, no matter how many overtime shifts I pulled. Who could have guessed that in order to be able to splurge, I just needed to be almost murdered. Well– I mentally correct myself– almost murdered by the right person.

Maybe I should treat myself a little today. It is still early in the day, and I am not meeting up with Jason and Jamie until nine tonight. Plus, I do still need a dress.

Feeling a rush of excitement, I roll out of bed and quickly get dressed in pants and a loose, comfy sweater, and I pull my long, strawberry blonde hair into a messy bun. I don’t want to put effort into getting pretty when I am already planning on getting all dolled up before going out tonight. Grabbing my purse and keys, I head out the door and lock up behind myself.

The sun shines brightly through the red, yellow, brown, and orange of the leaves, and the air is cool and crisp. Fall has been my favorite season for as long as I can remember, but autumn in the South didn’t hold a candle to this. I breathe deeply, relishing in the perfect weather and the smell of the fallen leaves that carpet the ground and crunch beneath my feet.

I head to the nearest store, planning to stock up on groceries. And I do… But I also leave with some new fall decorations for my apartment, a couple of shelves, and a small television and a stand for it. Maybe I went a little overboard, but I am in too good of a mood to stop myself. It feels so good to be taking care of me for once. Too good. Beyond good. The dark part of me can’t help but wonder when the other shoe is going to drop, but I decide I’m just going to enjoy myself until it does. For today, future problems can be Future Bree’s problem.

I stop at home to drop off the groceries, which takes a while, since I had basically nothing before, and I needed all of the staples. I decide I will wait for later to put together my new shelves and to decorate. However, I do decide to take a moment to put out my new wreath and doormat before I head out to buy an outfit for tonight. Heat pricks my eyes and my heart warms as I look at my doorway. It is such a simple change, but it makes my crappy little apartment feel more like a home. This honestly is everything that I hoped for when I ran away from my old life– from Andrew.

That sense of peace stays with me as I spend the rest of the afternoon shopping for clothes. I find a gorgeous little black number– a dress that is low cut and shorter than I would ever have been allowed to wear in my old life– and a pair of sexy heels that I think would be perfect. Unsure of what exactly to expect tonight, I snap a picture to send to Jamie, who enthusiastically assures me that it is most definitely not too much. I pick out several much more practical outfits as well, then I make my way home to get ready for tonight.

I make myself dinner, and feel completely spoiled by using fresh ingredients after weeks of living off microwave noodles.

When I leave my apartment, I stop to give myself a long look in the mirror. My new heels make my legs look long and amazing, my dress hugs my curves in all of the right spots, and makes my boobs look better than they have ever looked. My long hair is down, and wavy, falling down around my shoulders. My neck is bare, and I briefly mourn the necklace– the only thing I have from my birth mother– that I had to leave behind when I escaped Andrew. To distract from that, I put on more makeup than usual, including a dark red lipstick that makes my lips look plump, and winged eyeliner that makes my blue-green eyes pop. I almost look like a different person, but the most surprising difference to me is how confident I look. I stand tall, chin held high, so different from the hunched, nervous creature I was just a few short weeks ago. The corners of my lips pull upward, and a bit of pride surges through me at how far I have already come.

And I go out to live– really live– my new life.