Chapter 5: Isabelle: Let's Make It a Date

"Senior Spanish will look much better on your college application," Mr. Peters says.

"Yeah, I know." I sigh. Dropping Spanish would also mean dropping Grayson as a partner, and right now, that's the biggest advantage. Sure, he's more attractive than any guy in this building - Cam included - but he's smug and arrogant and dangerous. Being around him won't be good for my future. I'll either get charged with assault or... No, that's stupid talk. I'm dating Cam. Steady, faithful, worrying Cam. The best thing I can do is stay away from Grayson Alexander. I don't need his kind of disruption in my life; I've had enough disruption already.

"Are you still singing in your church choir?" Mr. Peters asks, snapping me from my thoughts.

"Yeah, why?"

"Then stay in Senior Spanish. You can list your church choir as an extracurricular activity."

He makes a good point.

"But, it's up to you." Mr. Peters leans back in his chair.

I've worked so hard the past three years. So what if there's a slight blip in my schedule? It's not the end of the world. I can still do everything I need to have a normal life - graduate, go to college, get a good job, marry Cam, and live a respectable Christian life. I take a deep breath. "Okay, I'm staying in Spanish."

I can keep Grayson at a distance. Why should I let some strange boy ruin my dreams?

"I think that's a smart decision. So, let's see what we can find for you to take during fifth period." He goes back to his computer and starts tapping at his keyboard again.

Twenty minutes later, I have a new schedule with Film as Literature during fifth period and a late pass. Before I can escape to class, Mr. Peters tilts his head and frowns - the universal sign for the question I hate so much.

"How are you doing, Isabelle? Are you doing okay with everything? It hasn't been that long since - "

I hold up my hand to stop him. "I'm fine. Really." I stand, hoping he gets the hint I don't want a grief therapy session.

"Right. Of course. Well, if you need anything, you know where to find me."

"Thanks." I leave and head to study hall. When I arrive, I give the monitor my pass and scan the room for an empty seat. In the back, Grayson waves. Of course he's here. I quickly look away, praying I find another empty seat. No such luck. This is what I get for being late.

I shuffle to the back of the room and take the seat next to Grayson. My body is tense, and every nerve is on edge. With his dark hair so messy and windblown, he looks like he just arrived from a modeling shoot. I close my eyes and inhale deeply - he smells of leather and soap and the ocean, which is nothing at all like Cam, who always smells of pine and parchment. I have to stop comparing those two. I picture Cam's smiling face and focus all my attention on that, but Grayson shifts in his seat, and his arm bumps mine. A shiver wiggles up my spine.

My eyes snap open. I jerk an inch to the left, away from Grayson. It's not like I have any homework I can work on to distract myself. This is going to be the longest fifty minutes of my life.

Grayson elbows me. "Hey, we should make it a date."

"What?" I can't bring myself to look at him. Did he seriously just ask me out?

"Our Spanish presentation." He twists in his chair so he's facing me. "Senorita Guzman said we'll get a better grade if we're creative. So, I was thinking, we could do a skit. You and me on a date in our chosen location."

I slowly force myself to look at him. His green eyes are sparkling and full of excitement, and it's impossible not to get lost in them. "A date?"

"Yeah. Think about it. We can go to dinner, which will meet the requirement for the food. Then we can go dancing. We'll finish the night with a stroll through town, which we can use to talk about everything else."

It's a good idea - a really good idea - and I'm sure it will result in an A. But going on a fake date with Grayson in front of the class? Just thinking about that makes my stomach churn. And what will Cam think? Fake or not, something like this will hurt his feelings.

"Well?" he asks.

I nervously chew on the inside of my cheek. Getting an A in this class is so important. And it's just a presentation. It doesn't mean anything. After a moment, I nod. "I think it's a really great idea."

"Awesome." He smiles. "Any idea what place you want to choose?"

I scrunch up my face. "I haven't thought about it. Do you have any ideas?"

"Hey, I came up with the presentation idea. Picking the place is up to you."

"Okay, I'll have an answer for you tomorrow in class."

"Good." He holds his hands up in a show of surrender. "Because if I have to do this whole thing on my own, I'm requesting a new partner."

I stare at him. Is he for real? We literally got the assignment thirty minutes ago. "Don't worry. I'll do my fair share." There's an edge to my tone, but I don't care.

"All right," he says with a slow nod. "Well, here's to a lucrative partnership, Belle the Bible Thumper."

I scowl. "My name's Isabelle, and I'm not a Bible thumper." Just because I go to church doesn't mean I shove my beliefs down people's throats. And so what if Grayson thinks I carry a Bible around with me? It was my brother's most prized possession, and until two hours ago, I thought it was lost for good. Now that I have it back, I can't stand the thought of not keeping it close to me.

He's silent for a moment, and I risk a glance at him. Head tilted, he narrows his eyes. "No one ever calls you Belle?"

"Nope." Not in a very long time, anyway, and I want to keep it that way.

"Hmm."

"Do people call you Gray?" I ask.

"Sometimes." He shrugs. "Why? Is that what you want to call me?"

"No. But if you're going to insist on calling me Belle the Bible Thumper, I'm calling you the Motorcycle Maniac."

He flings his head back and laughs loudly, earning us a dirty look from the room monitor. Grayson cups his hand over his mouth, and despite my determination to dislike him, I find myself laughing right along with him. For the first time in longer than I can remember, the gaping, grief-filled hole in my chest and my absentee father and my drunk mother fade into the background, and I fully embrace the moment.

"Okay, fair enough." Grayson catches his breath, and everything comes rushing back to me. I can't be this girl, the girl who laughs without a care, the girl who flirts with a dangerous boy, the girl who does anything outside what's expected of her - there's no room for that girl in my world.

I'm Isabelle Carson. Straight A student dating the pastor's son. Perfect daughter. Perfect friend. Respectable member of the church. Choir singer. This is who I was. This is who I shall - I must - remain.

How are you, Isabelle?

I'm fine. Perfectly fine.

No one on the outside looking in could guess the truth.

But I know.

I lost everything the day my brother died, and now I'm barely keeping things together. But I have to. For myself. My parents. This lie of a life is all I have left.