Chapter 5

September 1st, 2018

Collège de St. Cyr,

Serpens Hall

Moon in Taurus - Waning Gibbous

Alec walks into the room, his eyes still on the pretty girl curled in an armchair. She seems framed by its side wings the same way the long, brown fringe frames her eyes and face. A beautiful face, Alec admits, and his stomach turns a cartwheel that makes him giggle. So, maybe not so much of a 'he', now, Alec notices, his voice having once more reverted to the female pitch he was born with. Shutting the door behind his back, he decides he can be a girl, now. If only to add up to the minority.

"I'm Sashi," a young man says, and Alec studies him.

Light green eyes on a dark-skinned face, he's a beauty. His trimmed beard is perfect - must spend hours on it - as are his eyebrows, that actually look natural. But Alec knows for sure they were tweaked and teased to look just right. The bloke ogles Alec, which makes her laugh. She might be genderfluid, but will never be into men.

"Pleased to meet you," she replies, when all she wants is to learn the blue-eyed girl's name.

"I'm Ben." The red-haired, freckled-faced youth reaches one hand out, which Alec duly grasps and shakes. "And that's Igor, taking hold of the entire sofa."

The man in question sits up, grins, shoves himself to the right, making room for others to seat. Alec doesn't want to sit, she's far too on edge. It's the girl in the armchair; she's messing with Alec's cool. This wasn't what she came to St. Cyr for, has no need for such distractions. But boy, it's hard to keep eyes away from such a striking face. And the girl seems unable to divert her attention from Alec, too.

"And you are?" Finding the guts to ask, Alec swerves closer, hands placed on the back of the sofa. She leans forward, one eyebrow cocked, a half-smile spreading her lips.

"Cassandra. So, are you a boy or a girl? Because you look like a bloke but sound like a little lady."

Alec blushes, instinctively curls her knuckles. She hates this part. Where people don't know what to make of her, what to make of him, desperately needing to fit this odd person into a box. Desperately needing to force a gender choice on her. On him.

"I'm neither," Alec replies, and manages to keep her voice - female now - steady. "And I'm both." Now it's her masculine voice, and Cassandra's eyes widen.

"I don't get it," she says. "Were you born a boy or a girl? Are you transgender, is that it?"

Alec takes a deep breath, locks eyes with her. What a complete dimwit, what a pretty, vacant, prejudiced twat. The only thing she's got going is her looks, because her brain could do with a reset. The exact kind of person Alec loathes. Unable to understand, refusing to understand.

"I'm genderfluid," he says, the masculine voice back. It's easier for Alec to deal with this kind of prejudice when in a male frame of mind.

"That doesn't even make sense," Cassandra insists, and by now, Alec's had enough of her. Doesn't even look all that attractive anymore. "You were either born a boy or a girl. Unless you're hermaphrodite." Her face lights up as if she's just discovered the secrets of the universe, and Alec's heart does this thing where it jumps so hard against his chest it hurts. "Is that it? I never met one."

"Are you really this ignorant? This narrow-minded?" he asks.

The room's gone silent on them, everyone else looking uncomfortable with the conversation. Except for the bloke on the sofa, but Alec already pinned him down as straight. Must be as stupid as the girl. The other two, he hasn't yet quite narrowed them down. Sashi looks gay, but Ben's got something to him. When his eyes stray towards Cassandra, there's a flare inside that gives him away. Bisexual, perhaps?

"I consider myself very open-minded, thank you very much," Cassandra replies, and looks offended. "My best friend is gay, and I'm very cool with that."

Alec laughs, head thrown back, white neck exposed where a vein throbs and gives away his anger. "So you have a gay friend and assume this makes you open-minded. But you still need to narrow me down to one single gender."

"Because, unless you're a hermaphrodite, we're all born into one. If later in life we divert to another role, that's fine. There's this Year Three bloke, Alain Tourneau, he goes around wearing make up every single day, and wears heels most of the time. Like, girls' shoes, you know? Wonder how he can walk around in them, I get a backache just from watching. But he was born a boy, and sounds like a man when he speaks. Hell, he looks like a man, despite his makeup and his heels. You, on the other hand, look like a bloke and sound like a girl. But now you sound like a boy. I can't make sense of you."

"And why must you?" Alec is now amused. The girl is really struggling, and getting antsy. "My gender doesn't define me, my brain does. Some days I feel my feminine side pulling, and those days I'm a girl. Others, I'm a bloke. But that's not even what and who I am. I'm a person, and that should be all it matters."

"Cass, you did an essay on the transmutation of the body and its effects on the brain, and suddenly question gender fluidity?" Sashi asks, and Alec turns to him, a big smile lighting his entire face.

But the curiosity, the interest, are back again. She wrote an essay on those themes? Oh, how Alec would love to read it. Maybe it would help make sense of his often conflicting moods.

"I'm not questioning anything," Cassandra explains, "only curious to know which gender she was born in. He. Fuck, I don't know. How do I address you? He, she, his, hers? I'm sorry, but it's bloody complicated." She looks lost, panicked, in a world of pain.

Alec's expression softens, he wants to curl his arms around the girl and comfort her troubles. Actually, he'd like to do a lot more with Cassandra, but pushes those thoughts away. This is not what he came here for. His mind must be focused on his work, no distractions. No connections, either. Life's easier and smoother if he allows no bonds, no ties.

"I think you'll find it easy to tell when I'm a girl and when I'm not." He places his hands over his chest, palms down. "I'll have a pair of boobs whenever I associate myself with my feminine side."

"Do you also grow a dick when you go around being a boy?" Cassandra mutters, but Alec hears her just fine.

One eyebrow raised, he smiles her way, and it's a telling smile. Cassandra's cheeks turn deep red, her mouth pouts into an 'O' of disbelief, her eyes pop.

"No fucking way," she whispers.

Alec wants to take her hand and place it over the fly of his jeans, so she can see for herself. And she'd have no doubts, not with how his body insists on reacting to her and this whole conversation.

"Are you a Shifter?"

Alec is forced to face Ben, who studies him as if presented with a rare, strange new creature. Which, in the end, is exactly what Alec is. "Yes."

"And you shift at will? I mean, you shift into another person? I can't yet do it, and I'm Year Two. You haven't started Year One, how can you shift into anything other than small animals?" Sashi questions.

Alec shrugs.

"It's how she got in," Igor says, and sits up straighter. "I've been going round my head wondering why Professor King would have a Year One join A.A.S., now I know."

"It's he, at the moment. I hope you can respect that?" Alec's voice has an edge to it, his face darkened by anger.

There's a threat in his entire gait, one that is hard to miss. Igor shrugs, but nods. Looking more appeased, Alec rolls his shoulders, releasing the tension.

"I'm sorry, but this makes even less sense." Cassandra's at it again, and Alec finds himself sighing. It's actually endearing, the girl's unquenchable curiosity. "How on earth can you shift into another person, if you haven't been trained on it?"

"See, I don't shift into another person. This is still me. This is who I am as a man. I shift from my female anatomy to my male counterpart. Not into someone else, fuck, no. I don't even know how to do that, it requires the use of some fucked up spells, doesn't it?"

Ben nods, of the entire group he's the only one who has already started studying it. Which vindicates Alec's first impression, that both Cassandra and Igor must be Sanguinaires.

"I get her confusion," Ben goes on. "Transmutation into another body shape is a hard thing. When a Shifter is born, they do it all the time, babies cannot control their powers. But it takes a toll, and they're usually watched carefully so they don't end up depleting themselves, the surrounding area. Or their parents, for that matter. But once we grow, we lose the capacity to do it as easily."

"Schaeffer wrote it's because the bodily volume increases, and thus requires a lot more energy," Igor adds.

"Dragovič, on the other hand, says it's puberty that takes away the capacity for proper Shifting. All those hormones and stuff," Cassandra says, and exchanges an amused glance with Alec. "It's why Sanguinaires suddenly start biting around when they're aroused. Shifters end up having to learn how to take control of their powers and their bodies, how to use energy to shift. They need to re-learn how to shift without depleting their surroundings and themselves. So they start small, right? Only by University Year Three do they begin to address the shifting into another person. And that's not even all of them, because it's a bit frowned upon. If you think about it, makes sense, I mean, it's unethical as fuck. That you'd pose for someone else."

"But that's not what I do," Alec insists, somehow managing to keep his patience under check. "I don't impersonate another person, I don't take up anyone's mien but mine. This is me as a man." He lowers his head, flexes his hands a couple of times, and when he looks back up, it's no longer a he. "And this is the female version of me."

The change is subtle. Alec's wearing no makeup, so it's even more subtle than if she had a full face put on. But her jaws aren't quite as square, anymore, and there's a bit of roundness to the cheek. Her nose is the same, so are the lips, only her smile is softer, more elusive. The shape of the eyebrows has drastically changed, though, and albeit still being thick, they look smooth and groomed, feminine. Her eyes are a tad more slanted, too, and brown, instead of the dark blue. But the most evident difference is the lack of a bulge in her groin, and the sudden appearance of a pair of small breasts on her chest. Small they may be, but large enough to strain the buttons on the shirt she's wearing.

"Bloody hell, I can't do this," Sashi vents, and cackles, his eyes running up and down Alec both in awe and surprise. "How long have you been doing it?"

"I've been genderfluid all my life," Alec replies, aware this wasn't what Sashi meant. "But the capacity to change my body according to the gender my mind connects to, I've only mastered this past year."

"How?" Ben sounds curious, too. "Did you even take notes on this? It's huge."

"Transmutation 101? Chaos Magic's basic parameters? You instill your body with the energies around, distil them into your own matter. And focus your every single thought on reaching this other person inside you. You obsess to the point you become that person, because in the end, you are that person. You change your mindset into that of your other gender. It might be easier for those like me, who are genderfluid," Alec says, with a cocky grin. "Oh, and adding Regular and Sanguinaire blood to the energy you distil also seems to do the trick."

"What does that even mean?" Igor questions, his fingers turning the pages of the book he was reading in a frantic manner. "I've read something here..."

"Yes, Bonneville was the first to look into that," Alec says. "He was transgender, though, not genderfluid, and maybe that's why it didn't work for him. Because he wasn't so..."

"So in contact with both of his sides as you are," Cassandra interrupts, a victorious smile on her face. "That's freaking awesome. And it's how you got into this group? How did Professor King learn of this?"

Alec shrugs. "I put it on my application letter, detailed the entire process. The rector must have called the Professor's attention to my curricula, for the next thing I know, I'm being notified I am not to join Dorm 1 of Orion Hall, but to make my way to Serpens's third floor, where I'm to enrol on the Advanced Alchemical Studies' research team."

"Can I read your work?" Igor asks, the book in his hands as good as forgotten.

Alec shrugs. "I can forward my application letter to all of you, if you'd like to read it. If you think it can help." Four heads nod eagerly. "But I want to read Cassandra's essay on Transmutation's effects. Is that all right?"

"Sure. I'll get you a copy."

"Thank you. Now, if you all don't mind, I think I'm going to pop into my room and put away my things."

"You haven't been there?"

"No. Left my luggage by the door, wanted to come in here first."

"Why's that?"

"To see what kind of people I'd have to deal with." Alec's eyes lock on to Cassandra's, who blushes and lowers her gaze.

A smile creeps up the Shifter's lips, and subtly, she changes back into a he.

End of part II