Chapter 6: A New Obsession
Madeleine walked into the college cafeteria with her math book under her arm. She walked through the line and chose the salad bar. She hadn't planned on eating that day, but she knew that she probably should.
She sighed and paid for her food, heading to the seating area. Madeleine usually studied in the library, but she made an exception for that day.
She found an empty table to spread her stuff out on. Madeleine sat down in the chair and as she set her book down from under her arm, she dropped her salad on her lap.
She mentally scolded herself and made an irritated sound as she began to try to clean up the mess. This week was not going how she had wanted it to, and she had had enough fun.
She picked up her tray and threw it onto the cleaning line. It took the trays of dishes to the back to be washed via a conveyer belt.
Madeleine walked back to grab her math book and bag. She walked to the bathroom to try and clean the salad dressing from her dress and thighs.
She wanted to cry and give up on school. Was she even good enough? Did she really want this degree? Would she make it? Charlotte had all of the makings to be a successful designer. Her father was already a highly publicized actor, but what did Madeleine have? Nothing.
She had no help and knew no one famous that could help boost her up the ladder. She had to help herself and it was hard starting from the bottom.
Madeleine walked into the library and found her familiar place beside the windows that overlooked a massive garden full of flowers and trees. She often found herself staring out the windows more than actually getting work done.
She brought her pencil to her lips as she thought about Christian standing among the flowers. How handsome he was and how nice he was. She picked the ring up between her thumb and forefinger, rubbing it between her fingers in thought. She didn't understand why she missed him or why the mere thought of him made her sick with worry, but it did.
Madeleine knew that some things couldn't be explained, and this was no different. She felt sorry for him. Losing his mother must have been difficult. To see your mother like that... the very thought made her sick to her stomach. She had seen it. Had felt his pain, but it wasn't her mother. It wasn't her life. It was his, but it felt so real. So tangible. Like she had really been there.
She cleared her throat and brought her pencil back to her notebook as she stared at her textbook. She had to learn this math concept before her test that was scheduled for after the weekend.
She sighed and tried to focus on the formulas and numbers, but it all just jumbled together and somehow the letters turned into the word, 'Christian'. She shook her head and hit her temple with the heel of her palm.
Madeleine had to stop thinking about him, but it was so hard, and she didn't know why. It frustrated her and made her angry. She gathered her books and decided to go walk around the garden.
She walked along the winding cobblestone path and ran her hands along the tops of the floral bushes. The petals of the bluebells were soft and swayed in the breeze. She closed her eyes and let the warm sun touch her cheeks and make them flush a soft rose.
Madeleine slowly opened her eyes and continued to walk through the garden and tried to relax. She wanted to forget about how bad the week had been. To make it all disappear like it had never happened.
She sat down, beneath a willow tree, on a marble bench made in a classical style. It reminded her of Greek mythology stories.
Madeleine dug in her bag for her favorite book. One about a girl that had to say good-bye to her crush because he got deported to be in WWI. How she became a field nurse to feel like she was closer to him.
Madeleine sighed and sat back on the bench and read until her next course.
The rest of her classes seemed to go on forever. She spent each class, watching the clock and praying that it would go faster. By the time her last instructor laid down their instructions for homework, she was ready to go home.
Madeleine hurried back to her car and tossed her books and bag into the passenger seat. She shoved her key into the ignition and took off towards her apartment. She wanted to just go home and relax. To start her weekend without thinking about school or Christian. Well, she would try to not think about him, but it was clearly proving to be difficult for her.
She sighed and sat on her couch, turning on her television. She aimlessly flipped through channels. His emerald eyes haunted her thoughts, and she gave up watching the TV.
Madeleine stood up and made her way to her bedroom. She grabbed her laptop and began searching the date, January 30th, 1918. She wanted to see if what he had showed her was true. If the bombing had really happened. She didn't need to know if he was real. That was too much for her. She just wanted to know if that date was correct to begin with.
She poured herself into research and read as much as she could. Everything about it was heartbreaking. She found testimonies from families about the event and photos of the aftermath. Buildings torn down to mere piles of rubble. Crying families mourning the loss of loved ones. Her heart broke as she thought about Christian and his mother. About what he had shown her. It was heartbreaking and made her upset. She continued to search, read, and watch documentaries about the bombing.
By the end of the search, her eyes were sore, and her heart was in shambles.
She eventually curled up with his ring in her palm and tears ran down her cheeks as she fell asleep.