Chapter 7

Danny

Present Day

There's a low-level buzz in the pit of my stomach. One I haven't felt in way too long. This date I'm about to go on? It's different than any other. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there are certain moments where you know there's a spark in the air. A crackle ready to disrupt the status quo of life.

That crackle's been needed for entirely too long. The routine of daily life is almost enough to get me down. Get up, go to work at the firehouse or with my dad, and then go home. If I'm feeling up to it, I go to Cockloft, the local bar the firefighters hang out at.

My mind goes back to a few days ago, the last time I was at Cockloft. Hours before I'd met Hayden and there'd been a shift in my priorities.

Being a Probationary Firefighter is full of ups and downs, harder than I imagined it being.

I'm doing my best not to let it discourage me. This is what I've wanted my whole life. Everything I've worked for. When my parents could have persuaded me to put my life on hold for the good of the family, they instead encouraged me to follow my dreams.

The downside is, I still have to work with my dad. At least until he finds someone he can count on to show up. It's harder than it seems. Every time I think he's got an employee and I can give it up, they don't want to do the physical labor.

But my dad? It's all he knows. He'll work until his fingers bleed if that's what it takes to support his family. They don't make Ôem like him anymore and it's been painfully obvious the last few months.

Me? I'm burning the candle at both ends, not sure how much longer I can keep doing this. Already, I'm beginning to rebel and, with my track record, that's never good.

"What are you doing tonight?" My cousin, Alejandro, taps me on the elbow.

"First thing is taking a nap."

"How long you been up for?"

Turning my wrist toward me, I squint. My eyes are starting to burn from lack of sleep. "Thirty-six hours. I'll be crashing for a while."

He smirks. "Then what are you planning on doing?"

The two of us. We know each other. He knows my secrets and I his. Things we'd prefer not to have other people find out, we tend to confess to each other. "Hitting up Cockloft."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"It's been over a month since I've been there," I defend myself. "These two jobs are killing me."

"No time to play, huh?"

"Not even an hour here or there."

He reminds me, "You chose to become a firefighter. There had to be some sort of understanding that, with that decision, you'd have to pull double-duty."

"Yeah, I thought maybe for a month. Two, tops." I rub the back of my neck. It hurts like a motherfucker.

Carrying the hopes and dreams of so many others is damn near about to break me.

"He's proud of you. He molded you into the type of person you are and no one else has come close yet."

Sighing, I fold my arms over my chest. "It's fuckin' hard to live up to, even if you're the one who's been molded."

"I know there's a lot of pressure."

"You have no idea," I snap back.

The exchange with Alejandro had led me to the place I'd always gone to take care of the tension that so often rides along the back of my neck.

Cockloft.

An hour ago, I came in and immediately saw one of my favorite girls. I'm one of her favorites too and, since then, my length has been hard, pressed against the zipper of my jeans. I can't say I'm proud about how I sate my needs in this place, but it's better than any of the alternatives. Especially while I'm trying to find myself and waiting for the one.

You know, that elusive woman who'll make you forget your name, or anything that will make you do all the difficult things to be together. I'm still waiting on her. Waiting on myself to be ready for her. My mom always says until I'm ready, I won't be able to accept her and she won't appear to me.

Until then, I'm perfectly happy spending my time here. With Janelle, and figuring out all the things I do and don't like.

"You wanna go to a back room?"

Her voice is sultry in my ear, making promises I know she fully intends to fulfill. Janelle loves firefighters and, honestly, we like her too. I nod slowly. "Let's go."

She gives me a grin as she gets up off my lap and reaches out to grab my hand. I let her pull me up, following as closely as I can while she takes me to the private rooms. From experience, I know she doesn't let everyone come here with her and, if she does, they aren't always allowed to go all the way.

I am, and I have been.

It's exactly what I need tonight as I feel the gathered tension around my shoulders, up into my neck and down my back.

When we get to the room, she shuts the door, locking it. I have a seat in one of the comfortable chairs that's almost as big as a couch. "You can turn off the camera, Dave," she tells the security guard who watches for the women's safety, unless they request no camera.

She and I haven't used cameras since the second time I came here.

"I'm gonna hate when you stop using me, Danny." She pouts as she walks toward me, taking her pieces of clothing off, one at a time.

"You'll find someone else," I assure her, reaching down to unbutton my jeans, pushing them down past my hips and thighs.

"Nobody like you. I don't think you realize how fucking hot you are." She reaches behind her, flicking the enclosure of her bra and letting it drop in front of her.

Reaching down, I grip my cock in my palm, rubbing over my boxer-briefs as she continues undressing. "It'll take someone special," I confirm. "And I don't plan on that happening anytime soon."

Her dark eyes land on mine. "We never know what the universe has in store for us. Don't make promises you can't keep."

"Understood. There's no promises between us at all. I think we both know that." Reaching down, I push my boxer-briefs down to where my jeans are, then bend over to grab the condom I stuck in my pocket.

She watches as I open and smooth it down my length, leaving just a little room at the tip. I give it a few pumps, both of us hissing as we watch my palm slide along the length. "Come over here." My voice is deep, slightly bordering on painful.

Janelle wastes no time, straddling my waist and grabbing hold of the fabric behind my head. Reaching down, I hold my cock up, bracing with my feet as she lowers herself down on top of me. Once she's seated, I hook my chin around, capturing her nipple between my lips and smothering it with my tongue before slightly biting it.

"Danny." She rocks back and forth, getting accustomed to my size before tilting her head back and starting to slide up and down.

She and I, we've done this enough times that we know what the other likes. I keep my mouth, tongue, and teeth busy on her nipples and she rides me hard. Which is what I enjoy. Toward the end, she likes it when I smack her ass cheeks and move my thumb between our bodies, teasing her clit.

Other than that, she'll ride me until I come. Tugging at my hair, biting at my neck, and whispering all kinds of nasty shit in my ear. It's all I need, especially when the tension is so thick within my body. The only thing that will give me the release I need is blowing my load, and Janelle is an expert at getting me to do that.

"Feel good, Danny?" She teases as she licks and then nibbles on the edge of my ear before smearing her mouth down to my neck.

Letting her nipple go, I tilt my head back against the couch, tugging my bottom lip in between my teeth and letting out a grunt. Every other woman I've been with has wanted me to be quiet. Same thing when I was younger jerking off in my bedroom at home. With Janelle, she wants me to be loud, and fuck if that doesn't excite me even more.

She digs her teeth into the spot between my shoulder and ear before blowing on it. Goosebumps pop out along my arms and entire body. My cock extends inside her, searching for her core.

"Fuck yes, don't stop." I move my thumb in between us, flicking at her clit with the same motion and rhythm I use at the distended nub I take back between my teeth.

"Right there, Danny," she whines, moving faster.

This is my cue to start smacking her ass. Grabbing hold of it with both hands, I first help her move up and down. When the only sound in the room is the two of us, her wet pussy meeting my tight balls, I slap the skin. It echoes in the room and has me move one of my hands up to her neck.

Pulling her down, I hold her still over me as I pound up into her.

"Ah, ah, ah." Her moans correspond with my thrusts.

"God, I wanna come," I growl, sick of holding onto this stress. Needing to let it go.

"Yeah." She sits up on her knees, looking at me, a sexy as fuck grin on her face.

Her gaze is sex drunk. Her eyeliner is smudged under her eyes, her lipstick worn off.

"Yeah." I grin back at her.

"Then let's go."

The two of us go at each other hard. Her nails rip into my skin. I stop being careful with how rough I'm being as I thrust up into her and then pull back out. She bites hard at my flesh and I dig my fingers into her ass, separating the cheeks and carefully sticking my pinky where most other women have never allowed me to go. With Janelle, it's all good. Like I thought she would, so goes crazy, thrusting against me until we both come.

"Fuck yes," I roar, spilling inside the rubber keeping our bodies our own.

"Goddamn Ramirez. What am I going to do with you?" She laughs softly. Her eyes close as she lies against me.

The two of us never stay back here for long after we're done, but do allow one another to catch our breath and get cleaned up. As I'm buckling my jeans and she's putting her dress back on, she looks at me.

"One day, there's gonna be a girl who keeps you from coming to Cockloft and I'm gonna be sad."

"Yeah, I don't expect that day to come anytime soon." I reach over, kissing her on the cheek.

That had been literal hours before I'd met Hayden. Maybe Janelle knew something I didn't. She could be fuckin' psychic for all I know, but Hayden interests me in a way I haven't been interested in a long time.

As I stand in front of the mirror in my bathroom running a comb through my hair, I hope this is it. The point where I stop sabotaging myself and start living up to the man I'm supposed to be. Stop letting everything stress me out and start enjoying the time I have here. Hopefully, Hayden is a real big part of that.