Chapter 1

ALISHA’S POV

I wanted blood. And not just any blood. But, the blood of my fated mate, Lucien. I wanted to kill him in the most cruel of ways. To slice his throat clean with a knife or with my sharp claws, even. To watch him bleed until the light in his eyes faded. Until there was nothing left in him.

Nothing left to hurt me.

Yet, I stalled. For good reason. But, also because of something else. Something deep that connected us both. This damn mate bond I suffered from every day of my existence.

My name is Alisha Stone. I'm the Luna of my pack and the fated mate of Lucien Ragnarok, the most unworthy alpha my pack has ever known and the most abominable man I have ever known.

Maybe this was my fate. To be cursed to this lifetime stuck with him. But, I would not end in this misery. I was determined to end this. This constant fight within myself and with him. Between the love I hated to admit I had for him and the hate I wanted to have for him  couldn't tell which was more than the other.

The pack members were behind me on this. Lucien had gotten on their nerves almost as much as he had gotten on mine.

As Luna, I'd spent most of my time being the perfect stand-in for him. Trying to cover up the impossibly large holes he had opened. Trying to appease the pack. To prevent a looming uprising much bigger than the thwart who was alpha would be a able to stand against.

Yet, the more I worked, the more Lucien countered everything. The latest outrageous thing I'd just heard was that he wanted to kill any warrior or omega who dared to stand against him.

"Any little disrespect to the alpha would result in death."

Those were the words he'd told me when I tried to confront him about the news.

I swallowed my own words in reply. I let him be.

But, the height of everything. The blade that had snapped the thin rope of patience I had left to put up with him was after the last big fail he'd caused. He had caused my plan to form a strong alliance with Pack B to fail. That, I was finding difficult—impossible, even—to forgive.

We'd been discussing the alliance for months and finally, I'd gotten them to strike a deal with our pack. But, he'd snapped when, over the phone, after he'd answered, the alpha of the pack had requested to speak with me instead of him. It had been a part of our agreement for more reasons than one. The alpha felt I was more levelheaded and he trusted me more than he trusted Lucien.

Lucien had sparked, getting into one of his many fits. "This is an insult to me!" he'd roared. In his rage, he proceeded to cut every tie left. Along with our plans for food. Along with the other agreements.

If the members of the pack got word of it, there would be instant chaos. One that Lucien would buckle and die under.

Now, coupled with the other looming responsibilities I held, I would have to find another pack willing to provide us steadily with food and water.

My phone buzzed, pulling me out of my thoughts. Away from the madness that went on in my head and into another kind of madness that was very present, very loud and very visible. My email was a mess. So many notifications and mails from people I had yet to read and reply threatened to pull me under. Yet, here I was, constantly in my head and worrying about a man who couldn't be bothered about me.

One particular email caught my attention.

An alpha had sent a request to exchange deals anonymously. I scrolled through, trying to weigh the validity of his claims. He had a rather strange aura from his words and the power surrounding it.

I left it open. Not closed. Just at another corner in my head.

On to the next. On to other things. Other means of communication. To find another pack that would be willing to supply my pack with food and water just like Green Arrow Pack had done and agreed to continue doing for years to come.

The more I searched, the more I hit roadblocks. The new partners that were willing didn't meet my requirements—requirements that were equally for the good of the pack. It was either they were living right in the heart of human territory or they were unable to make the necessary compromises I needed them to make for the good of my pack. And, for all I could risk or my careless alpha, Lucien, could, I would never allow any of my pack member go that far into human territory to get food.

My younger brother, Calum, brought me out of my messy thoughts with his calming voice. "Alisha," he said, coming to stand before me in the courtyard.

I looked at him and looked around, only just realizing that I had come all the way to the courtyard to think out of habit. In silence. Where only the birds could listen and speak to me. But, Calum, my brother, always knew where to find me. He had been doing so for the past few years since I'd been with Lucien.

"Tomorrow's your birthday, Alisha. Why do you look so sad? You love your birthdays!" He lifted my chin up and I moved out of his reach, keeping my head away.

"Yea," I replied, looking down, suddenly overwhelmed with sadness. "But, it's also my damned wedding anniversary."

As soon as the word, anniversary, left my lips, I remembered. The past washed over me like a river.

I got joined as one together with Lucien on the one big day that I had previously had all to myself up until that day. It was a typical case of 'you don't know what you have until you lose it'. And, I'd loved my birthdays, really. But, I'd never had to think about the weight of my love for my big days until I had to share it with someone else. With someone who didn't like me.

On the day we both turned eighteen, Lucien found out that we were mates. Joy thundered through my being as I heard the news. I began to dream instantly, thinking of a fairytale life with him. He was young. He was everything I thought I wanted in a man. And he was to be the next alpha. Wasn't that everything a girl needed? But, Lucien came along with his father to see us and he'd looked very sober. Like he was not happy about the news. Like he thought I was stupid to be happy about it.

"What's the matter, Lucien?" I asked, pulling him aside.

"I like someone else," he replied.

Plain. Casual. Yet those words pierced through my heart and soul.

He continued, "My heart is given to another."

I swallowed and asked, voice shaking, "Who?"

"What?"

"Who?" I asked again, bolder this time.

"Camila. But, it's not important who it is. I've just never believed in waiting for a fated mate."

"So, why are you here?"

"Because of my father. He thinks I need to obey certain rules. Plus it helps that your family is well known and has substantial influence in our pack. He thinks it will help me secure my position as the next alpha. Do you understand?"

I nodded. But, in my head, I thought: I'll wait. I'll endure. I'll make you love me, too, one day.

I played my part. He played his. I waited. He didn't. I loved him. He loved Camila. In the very year we were publicly confirmed as mates, our wedding was held. It was a grand ceremony, but a shameful experience because on our wedding night, while I waited in my best attire, Lucien claimed Camila as his chosen mate and I whimpered alone all through the night, suffering the pain of his betrayal.

And every year, on my birthday, the pain resurfaced, reminding me of why I wanted—no, needed—to kill my husband.

"Alisha?"

I looked up at my brother. He looked worried. I mustered up enough willpower to smile. Wide. Bright.

"I don't have time to throw a birthday celebration, Calum. And, as for my wedding anniversary, you know my husband doesn't care about that." I scrunched up my face as I mentioned the word husband. "But, I bet he's going to want to celebrate his own birthday. But, who's going to attend? He's not in good standing with most of the pack members."

I could sense the shift in Calum's mood. He could sense my bitterness and I wasn't even going to bother to cover it up.

He pulled me in for a hug and I had to use everything within me to stop myself from crying.

I cleared my throat when he let me go. "Um, in other matters, I have an anonymous letter to show you."

I pushed my phone in front of him and he read it silently.

"Something needs to be done about Lucien," he said.

"What needs to be done?"

"We need to start by talking to him. Letting him know about the consequences of his extreme actions."

"I know Lucien. He won't agree."

"But, let's try at least. I've sworn loyalty to him as his Beta. But, I also need to protect you as my sister and Luna of our pack."

I nodded.

"Alright," he said. "I know where we can find him now."

Reluctantly, I stood up again and followed Calum.

We walked towards Lucien's office. As we got closer, a sharp pain pierced through my side. I saw red. And stars. I fell to the floor in pain, reaching for the origin of it—my heart.

"Alisha?" Calum called out to me.

I could barely breathe so I couldn't look up at him in time.

I knew this feeling. I'd felt it many times in the past few years. But, each time it came, it felt strange and brand new. Lucien was the culprit. He was at it again, betraying me at every opportunity. Breaking our mate bond over and over and over again.

As soon as Calum realized the reason behind the pain, he took off faster towards the door of Lucien's office.

"Calum," I called out weakly, just getting enough strength to look up.

He pushed the door of the office open and the sight before me was even worse. Camila and Lucien were tangled up together, sharing a passionate kiss. Calum barged in, seething with all the anger left within his otherwise sweet demeanor.

"Alpha Lucien!" he roared.