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Chapter 3

LUCIEN’S POV

Being Alpha's got to be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. And, I've done an insane amount of things.

I could still feel the anger pulsing through my veins even after Alisha and her silly, annoying brother I'd been coerced to make my Beta left.

Camilla came forward to try to comfort me. But, as she rubbed my chest, there was a certain irritation that grew even more. I should've been comfortable, but I suddenly wasn't.

Alisha's eyes. They were hunting.

The hurt. The determination mixed in with it.

How did she manage to give a killer stare like that? It was like the more I tried to break her, the stronger she stood back up again.

I knew Alisha. She was the typical perfect girl. Strong. With a good family. She had most of what she needed. Maybe she thought that I was less than important. Maybe that was why she could endure what I threw her way every damn time.

It irked me. The way she constantly looked at me with a combination of both disappointment, but what slightly satisfied me and spurred me on was the helplessness that was there too. Like she was stuck. I was making her stuck.

I used to appreciate her before. In fact, when I first met her, I was attracted to her beauty, but after learning that she was the daughter of the former Beta, I moved back from my affection for her.

My best friend, Kane, had told me that her family looked down on mine even though my family was the leading family and they were only the Beta family. There was also the growing rumour that they thought I wasn't good enough to become the next Alpha.

At first, I'd wanted to believe that Alisha was different. That she wouldn't think that way of me, but after I'd heard her talk about her expectations for the new Alpha and her praise for Arthur in one sentence, I'd had to check myself instantly.

It was a banquet held in my Father's home all those years back, even before we were declared as mates.

I was stalking her, trying to muster up the courage to ask her out when I'd happened upon her discussion with her friend, Arthur.

That had solidified that she didn't think I was good enough. She didn't think I was capable of leading out pack. And, at that time, I felt very uncomfortable.

Back then, I'd been young and foolish. I'd actually wanted to work hard to become more powerful, but thanks to Camilla and Kane, I came to my senses that I didn't have to kill myself to become better for someone.

So when I finally learned that Alisha was my mate, imagine my surprise and sick delight. Then, I remembered what Kane had told me and I instantly pushed her away.

She tried, this Alisha. She constantly tried to win my love by being nice. But, from what they told me, I could see through her act for who she really was. She only tried to get me to mate with her or she was only so nice because of our mate bond. Not because she really liked me.

I bet, if we weren't mates, she would never have been that nice to me.

The more my thoughts strayed to the past, the more aggravated I became.

Camilla was still rubbing my chest.

"Are you better now?" she whispered.

I looked down at her and got even more upset. She looked so much like Alisha, it was so nerve wracking in that moment.

Had she always looked so much like Alisha or were my eyes suddenly playing tricks with me?

I pushed her away.

I needed space. Air.

Something else was bothering me. The anonymous letter. The one Calum had shown me. I could remember the words. He'd given me enough time to read through it.

Was I that bad of a leader? Did my pack members really hate me that much? Of course, I dished out certain impossibly hard instructions, but was it so much that the most of the pack members now hated me?

If they really hated me that much, then I had to change.

Maybe tone down the punishment. And try to do my duties. Not act like I was always competing with my Luna.

I turned to Camilla. "How do you view me?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, twirling a loc of her brown, thick hair around her fingers.

"I mean, how am I as an Alpha? What do you think of my leadership method?"

"Oh, Lucien," she began, "Are you worried about what those two said? You're the best. I know this pack doesn't even deserve a leader like you. You're just the best."

My heart fluttered. My head swelled.

Yes, I was a good Alpha and the pack members were ungrateful werewolves who didn't deserve me at all.

As she spoke on, I grabbed her and silenced her with a long, sloppy kiss. That was the least I could give her.

As I began to explore her body with my hands, someone knocked on the door and entered without waiting for my permission.

It was Calum again.

This was the second time in one day that he was catching me kissing Camilla. What was his deal?

"What's your deal? Huh?"

The amount of joy I'd gotten from Camilla's sweet nothings instantly evaporated.

"What's the matter?" I ask again.

"Alpha Lucien," he said in a way that managed to sound both derogatory and respectful at the same time. "Maybe you should take on the role of a real Alpha and do your duty well instead of constantly flirting and sleeping with women in your office. I came back here because I can’t bear to see my sister enduring pain."

He went on and on, ranting to me about this and that. But, mostly about Alisha.

My anger bloomed into fury and I yelled for the guards.

"Guards?! Come in here and get this motherfucker out of my sight!" I roared. "Take him to the dungeon and keep him locked up until he learns to respect his Alpha."

The guards walked in. But, they didn't move to imprison Calum. Instead, they started to plead on Calum's behalf.

This only made me even more angry.

Only two guards were quiet at the corner and I zeroed in on them.

"You two! Get him and the other cowards away! Tell me, who's your Alpha, huh? Don't you dare disobey your Alpha!"

So furious, I could barely see, I stomped out of my office. My day was officially ruined.

I needed to get home and cool off. Soon, I did.

But, as I sat on the dining table and watched Alisha serve me dinner, it infuriated me even more.

"What's this nasty meal in front of me?" I barked after eating one spoon of it.

I threw all the food on the floor.

"What's wrong?" she murmured.

The flying glass fragment grazed her and she flinched.

I ignored her bleeding leg and directly grabbed her neck. "Do you think I'm not good enough, huh? Do you think I'm an incompetent Alpha just like the pack members?"

She was gasping for air, but she answered me, looking me straight in the eyes.

"I-i have never looked down on you in the past. But, recently, maybe I have. With all the things you've been doing and with the way you're leading the pack, I have no other option than to question your abilities."

Her words cut through something deep within me.

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