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02

– I love you too, little sister. – I smiled ironically and went back to reading the book.

– Malu...? – I looked at her who had sat on the stairs, looking at me between the gaps in the banister. - Am I disturbing?

  • You're welcome. Do you get in the way? That it! – she said ironically.

  • Lucky me. – She smiled, I looked at her with a murderous look. – Alright, read your book in peace.

  • Thanks. – I read again. Then I noticed that Ceci was tapping her foot on the floor to the rhythm of some country music (the most annoying one) that she liked. This started to irritate me. I snorted, defeated. – It’s cool! Say what you want straight away.

– Ahhh thank you! – She sat on the sofa gracefully, but still excited. Her smile was radiant, her skin didn't have any trace of someone who lived on the beach, Cecília abused sunscreen. The almond-shaped brown eyes seemed to smile too. They said our eyes were the same, the same color, but Ceci's looked immensely bigger, more beautiful and highlighted by well-done makeup. There was a beautiful and irresistible girl in front of me, it was no wonder she lived surrounded by young men in love. I sighed and hugged my knees, along with my book. Prepared for boredom.

  • He is perfect.

– They usually are.

– No, he is different. Really different. – she almost sighed and I could see how her eyes shone. And I was kind of scared by that. – He is funny, sexy, works little, makes a lot of money. It's beautiful... Very beautiful. Not that I care so much about his work and beauty.

– Ah, okay… – I tried not to laugh at his ‘joke’, but it was difficult. She poked me.

  • It is serious! He's so cool and fun. He treats me well and everything.

– You’ve heard that it’s always like this at the beginning, haven’t you? But pimps become violent after a while...

– Malu! – She started laughing, good-naturedly at my joking comment. Yes, being tidy, that is, with my hair combed, had good effects on her mood. Ceci couldn't stand that I always lived in shorts, unfashionable dresses, and long blouses. Not to mention the clothes I wore when I went skateboarding, something that completely horrified her. Where have you ever seen a girl living with scratches, bruises, caps and surrounded by boys who speak incomprehensible slang? I was a serious, very serious case for her, who wanted me to wear pleated skirts, tight blouses and my hair always tied up in elaborate hairstyles, or simply down. Not to mention the damn little bows that Ceci tried in every way to push on me. She loved bows and I hated them. They were annoyingly sweet, and they lived all over the place. And she still had the ridiculous habit of asking my opinion about them. And that had nothing to do with me. I liked light clothes, my hair tied in a loose ponytail and walking around in sandals. I lived with bruises on my knees and sunburned skin from living on the beach. I wouldn't trade my book for anyone in the world and I abhor makeup. I didn't know how to use it. I was a distaste for all the ostentatious femininity in the family, especially Ceci.

– And how is this wonderful job of working little and earning a lot? Who knows, maybe I can send you my resume.

– Well... He works with his aunt.

– In what exactly? – she made a face. I looked at her indignantly. – Are you going to say you don’t know?

– When he paid for everything we ate on the trip we took to the mall, I just wanted him to kiss me. And he's a great kisser. Frog!

– Of course, typical! He's dating some Miss Perfection in life. – Honestly... I wasn’t surprised that he was ‘perfect’. Ceci usually got the nicest guys. The problem is that I kicked them after a few weeks, I repeat. I thought she was a bit insensitive about it. So much so that I even tried to console the idiots who ended up staying on their doorstep for a few days, literally throwing a bucket of cold water at them. To quell the fire of their passion, damn it. But you know how it is... Even though I didn't like Ceci's behavior with her relationships, I had given up arguing with her about it a long time ago. I was ignorant on this matter.

– Do you really think I'm exaggerating?

  • I think.

– It was a rhetorical question!

  • Sorry. – I laughed lightly. I looked at her, and she looked at the door for the thousandth time. – Okay, I understand. You really like him. I promise to behave.

– No funny jokes?

– I never tell unfunny jokes.

– Once upon a time there was a duck who never laughed. Then one day he tripped and split his beak. – She looked serious at me. And without meaning to, I started laughing, really loudly! Soon she was following me. We started laughing together, Mom. Loud and non-stop, almost choking us. Ceci recovered before me and I took a deep breath, wiping away some tears that escaped with the effort of my laughter. Ceci looked at me expectantly, a playful smile on her face:

– No funny jokes, then?

– Promise?

– Be serious, Ceci. Don't doubt me, okay?

  • Thanks. – The doorbell rang at that moment, so her eyes widened. I looked behind the couch and saw a silhouette standing in the doorway, hands in his pockets. Head down. Before Ceci got up Karol ran down the stairs, her damp light brown hair swinging behind her and her little dress slightly wrinkled. Ceci tried to stop her, but she opened the door.

– Hey, are you my sister's boyfriend? – I heard a deep and hoarse laugh, failing when it reached the end... I froze.

– Yes. – he said sweetly to my sister and I froze on the couch. My fingers engraved on the book cover. No. It can't be. It was impossible!

– Come on, come in. – Ceci called. I looked down at the book. I heard Ceci introduce him, the door still open, to Karol and my mother. – Hey, Malu. Come here.

I tried to control that ridiculous fear inside me. These things couldn't happen. With legs shaking I got up. Convincing myself that they were just similar voices and similar names. I still walked with my head down towards the door. Then I looked up.

It was them, those same brown eyes. I saw that he mirrored the expression on my face. Scared, in disbelief, lost. My throat dried up, not knowing what to do, I remained still, mentally cursing myself and my damn karma.

– Do you already know each other? – Ceci asked, suspicious.

  • No! Of course! – I said loudly. We looked at each other scared again. I felt my face flush and saw that his cheeks were also blushing beneath his tanned skin.

– Right... – Ceci smiled, excited. He grabbed his arm, pulling him close. – Igor, this is my sister Malu. And Malu, this is Igor, my boyfriend.

She glanced at me, waiting for me to say something. I swallowed hard. Not knowing how to assimilate everything. I wanted to laugh, laugh!, at this great irony and at the same time I wanted to cry because of such bad luck. I wanted to slap him and Ceci, and at the same time I wanted to pull her away from him. I was full of desires, but my thoughts were empty, hollow... The only thing I could really think about while Ceci looked at me proudly and showed Igor that this situation was horrible and insane. Like a dark joke, I couldn't laugh or smile at that situation. All I could think about was when I called him mine.

Dinner was extremely uncomfortable for me. Igor appeared calm and controlled. Making everyone at the table laugh, except me. I just looked at the food, knowing it would be a Titan's task to digest it. I noticed that Ceci was looking at me disapprovingly, wanting me to loosen up more, engage in conversation with her boyfriend and entertain him with my ironic observations, things I always did. I used to be very relaxed at dinner, because I couldn't shut up when there was an embarrassing situation like that in front of me. But this was absurd. I simply couldn't do it, mainly because Igor wouldn't stop staring at me.

– How did you meet? – Karol asked excitedly. She liked this little house thing, even though she was so young.

– Karol... – Ceci blushed and I wondered why she was acting shy. I wanted to hit her in the face, a slap so hard that it made her fall out of her chair. – Well, it was on the beach. He stared at me... Then... I went to talk to him, and well... It was fun. We exchanged phone numbers and kept in touch. Very quick. It's beautiful.

  • Cool. – Karol said, not so excited about the conversation now. She liked epic things, like bumping into each other in school hallways or something similar, flowers on Valentine's Day, stationery and love at first sight like in the movies she liked to watch. That deceptive nonsense, that insisted on saying that love was beautiful. Blérgh!

Mere mortals, always thinking positive about things that are doomed to failure just because they are based on illusions. I didn't understand how they could believe that bumping into a person and sharing a taste for saving and spending, that alone, could move a relationship forward. There had to be something inexplicable in the middle too, and affinities; of course, since they are the ones driving the train forward, paving the tracks with years of marriage and companionship. Unfortunately, my family had an impressive history of trains going off the tracks, divorces, and separations. And of course, constant boyfriend swapping. In other words, romantic relationships were doomed to failure, it couldn't have been any different with me.

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