Chapter 4

Alex's POV

The sour beer coats my mouth. I hate beer, but I have to pretend to celebrate with the rest of the guys. The Aurora Flame packhouse has officially been demolished. That means that I get to go home to my new territory. The cold bottle soothes my blistered hands. Blisters that are evidence of the home I just destroyed. My home. Though it didn't feel like home anymore. Nothing has felt like home lately.

Rita pulls out a barstool, sitting next to me. "How are you feeling, Gamma?"

"Amazing."

"You shouldn't lie to a witch who can see the future."

I look at her with suspicion. She has hardly spoken to me over the last year. Why is she talking to me now?

"Did you see something that includes me, Rita?"

"I did."

"Well? Are you going to tell me?"

"You know I can't. Things change far too quickly. I'm only here with a warning."

I nod, so she knows I'm listening.

"Stop defying the Moon Goddess."

What? By the time I look up, Rita is gone. Her barstool sits empty, as if she was never there. What did she mean by defying the Moon Goddess? How am I defying her? The sound of birds dying pulls me back to reality. Two of my pack members are drunk, singing karaoke, or screaming it, really. Before my ears bleed, I finish my beer and jump into my car. I'm not due home until tomorrow, but I don't want to waste any more time getting back. Even if Paige and Colin aren't exactly excited to welcome me back, I want to be home. I didn't want to leave, but I respected their orders to come here and oversee the demolition of the old packhouse because I knew I had fucked up.

I remember that awful day so well. We were sitting down for dinner when I felt the last strands of my connection to Amber snap. The entire pack felt it, too. She chose a new pack; she chose to stay in Moonbeam. I don't know why, but I'd hoped she'd come back, eventually. I didn't mean to run her out of the only home she's ever known. That day, I lost myself and my wolf in uncontrollable violence. I slashed my way through the pain. I'm lucky that the only wolves hurt were rogues. Only it didn't help, it just made my life worse. I'll never forget the disappointment on Colin's face when he saw what I had done. It wasn't long after that when Paige and Colin sent me back to our old territory. I'm not sure if they thought they were helping me, or if they just wanted to be rid of me. Either way, I'm still suffering, and there's no one to blame but myself.

I pull into the driveway. The house is dark. I didn't expect a welcome committee, but I at least expected to see my best friend waiting for me. My luggage hits every stair on the way to my room. I'm not worried about being quiet. I don't care who I wake up, because then I wouldn't be left alone with my thoughts. While love and a mate are no longer in the cards for me, it doesn't mean I can't fulfill my physical needs.

I smirk when I hear a door open. I turn and see an unfamiliar, tanned she-wolf standing in the doorway behind me. "I don't think we've met."

She smiles. "I'm Grace."

"Alex, the Gamma. It's rare to meet a pack member that I don't know."

"I'm usually gone to school, but I'm on break right now. Why are you making so much noise?"

I shrug. "Just wanted to see if anyone was up. I don't enjoy being left alone with my thoughts."

"You can stay with me if you're scared to be alone."

I chuckle lightly. My eyes scan her. Her brown eyes twinkle like those of a girl I used to know. Her sandy, short hair is messy. Her neck is smooth, unmarked by another wolf. Her body is athletic and toned. Her breasts are a touch too large for my taste, but they'll do. She smirks as she watches me. She's probably thinking that I'm gawking at her beauty when, really, I'm just noticing all the ways she isn't Amber.

She puts her hand on my chest. "Before we do this, I need you to know that it's nothing more than sex. I'm waiting for my mate, so don't go falling in love with me."

"Sounds good to me."

I follow her into a quaint room. It's bare besides the bed and a duffle bag. She pulls her shirt up by the hem, her breasts rising and falling with her quick motion. I strip and slam my body to hers. Her skin feels like leather beneath my fingers. I don't waste time kissing her or warming her up. This is just a means to an end. The sex is quick and rough, but the release I find isn't satisfying enough. Just as all the other releases I've had weren't.

I leave her room without a word. Reaching my room and taking a hot shower is the only thing on my mind.

Insomnia has infected me lately, so it's no surprise that I beat the Alpha to his own office. My eyes wander around the room. The office that was once a lemon tribute is now navy. The tired wooden furniture has been replaced by white modern pieces. My fingers brush over his bookcases, landing on a picture.

The picture brings tears to my eyes. Her face is there, smiling at me, the way she used to. It was taken the night of Paige and Colin's ceremony. The night I forced her to reject me. I pay little attention to the other three couples in the photo. I just stare at her.

"Nice to see you, Alex." Colin's voice startles me, forcing me to pry my eyes from the picture.

"Did you miss me?"

"Duh. I missed our nights together."

"Really? He's been back for a few hours and you're already hitting on him!" Paige smiles at me, giving me a small hug before taking her place on Colin's lap.

"So, I heard the demo went well," Colin starts.

"Yeah. Our old packhouse is no longer standing. What are the plans now?"