Chapter 3

Geometry. Like she was ever going to use that. Sometimes she thought about quitting school and just working full time. Then, she could definitely afford a cheap apartment.

But Mama had made her promise that she would graduate high school and at least think about college.

“What are we going to tell her, Adam?”

She paused at the frantic sound of Elisabeth’s voice.

Tell her? Tell who?

“The truth,” Adam replied. “What else can we say?”

“The truth? We don’t even know what the truth is. Would she really leave without Ágata?”

“She would if she thought it was safer that way, Elisabeth,” Adam replied solemnly.

“This is going to kill Ágata, Adam,” Elisabeth cried. “I can’t do that to her. I can’t tell her that her mom has just disappeared.”

What?

What the fuck?

Ágata could feel herself growing numb. Her heartbeat slowed. The world around her dimmed.

Mama was gone? Disappeared? Without her?

No, no. They had to be wrong. She wouldn’t. No!

She stumbled forward, banging into the table. A chair scraped across the floor and their voices immediately grew quiet.

“Estefania?” Elisabeth asked, racing into the room. She came to a sudden stop, her face falling as soon as she saw it was Ágata and not her mama standing there. Then she smiled. But Ágata could tell it was forced. It didn’t reach her eyes. “Oh, Ágata, you’re home early.”

Adam walked in, his face serious. They were a similar age to her mother. Adam had a thick build and dark hair that was going gray around his temples. Elisabeth was petite, her blond hair cut in a bob. Mama said she’d known them for years, even before Ágata was born. That she trusted them implicitly.

“I better make you some dinner. What do you feel like?” Elisabeth fluttered around, not meeting Ágata’s eyes.

So Ágata moved her gaze to Adam. He appeared grim. Even more serious than usual. Adam was a straight shooter. She knew he’d tell her the truth.

“Tell me.”

“Ágata,” Elisabeth said hesitantly as she drew some leftovers out of the fridge.

“Tell me. Just tell me.”

“You should eat first,” Elisabeth said.

“No. Tell me.” She could feel the tears developing, but she forced them back.

She had to be strong.

Always so fucking strong. But she could do this. She could take anything.

“Your mother left.”

“Adam!” Elisabeth said, dropping the glass she’d been reaching for in shock.

It shattered, and Adam immediately turned his attention to Elisabeth. “Baby, be careful!” He walked over and picked her up, carrying her away from the mess.

Tears were dripping down her face and Ágata moved to grab the brush and pan to clean it up.

“Ágata, sweetheart, leave it,” Adam ordered.

She glanced over to find that Adam had set Elisabeth down on a chair at the table and was moving toward her.

“Go sit down.” His tone was gentle, but it was clear to tell it was a command.

She moved to sit across from Elisabeth. “Mama really left?” Ágata shook her head. “No, she wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t leave me behind.”

“Oh, Ágata.” Elisabeth stared at her with such sympathy that anger stirred. She didn’t want to be pitied.

The kids at school had been complete assholes when she’d first started. Most of them had spat out abuse at her on a daily basis. But she didn’t give a shit. She just stared them down until they backed off. Now, they left her alone.

She could deal with that. She could deal with just about anything.

But Mama leaving her . . . no, that might be the thing that broke her.

“She wouldn’t leave me.” Ágata knew she was repeating herself, but she didn’t know what else to say.

“I’m so sorry,” Elisabeth whispered. “But you know you’re welcome to stay here. We’ll take care of you.”

“No! No!” She stood up. Her chair flew backward.

Elisabeth flinched, and Adam placed his hands on her shoulders. Shoot. She hadn’t meant to upset Elisabeth. It was just . . . Mama wouldn’t do this to her.

She knew Ágata needed her.

“Ágata,” Adam said. “You know something was going on in your mom’s life. Something she wouldn’t talk about.”

Ágata frowned. “You mean the reason she entered the cult in the first place, right? That there was something or someone she feared.”

Elisabeth and Adam looked at each other. Adam nodded.

“Do you think . . . do you think someone took her?”

“Oh, honey, no.” Elisabeth shook her head.

“No, that has to be it. Someone’s taken her.” She wouldn’t have left of her own free will. No way. “I have to call Gordie. He’ll help find her.”

“We can’t call Agent Gordon, Ágata,” Adam said calmly.

“Why not? He’s the freaking FBI. It’s his job to find missing people, right?”

“She’s not missing,” Adam said. “There’s a note.”

“What? A note? No.” A note would imply that Mama left of her own free will.

Ágata just kept shaking her head. “No. No.”

“I’m so sorry, Ágata,” Elisabeth said again.

Why did she keep saying that? It didn’t help.

“She left a note for you and one for us,” Adam said. “I’ll go get them. We haven’t read yours.”

He returned with two letters that he handed to Ágata. But she couldn’t do this here. In front of them.

Jumping to her feet, she raced into her bedroom and flopped down on the bed. She pressed her hands to her eyes and took several deep breaths.

There had to be some mistake. Her mama wouldn’t leave her.

No way.

She was just gone for a bit. Maybe she needed a break. Or she was going to work away for a while.

Shit.

She chose the easiest one first. The one to Adam and Elisabeth.

My dearest friends,

I’m so sorry to have to do this. But you know I wouldn’t unless it was necessary. For all of our safety, I have to leave, and I don’t know when I’ll be back.

I know I’ve already asked so many favors of you, but I have to ask one more. Please look after my Ágata. I tried to keep her with me, to live a normal life. But it’s not possible. He won’t allow it.

Love her like she was your own. I wouldn’t ask it of you if I didn’t know that you would do this for me.

I’ll be forever in your debt.

Estefania.

A sob broke free, but she pushed it back. She couldn’t . . . she wouldn’t let the pain escape. Not yet. Not until she read the second letter.

Her hands shook as she opened the envelope.

My darling Ágata,

You’re my greatest treasure. The love of my life. The one thing I did right in the world. I am so proud of you.

But I’ve made some mistakes in my life. Things I regret doing. People I regret getting involved with. Becoming a part of the Children of the Divine is the least of my transgressions.

I have to leave, Mija. I know you will be angry with me. I know you won’t understand why. But I’m doing it to keep you safe, sweet girl. Adam and Elisabeth will look after you. I know that you haven’t known them long, but they are good people. Please respect them.

I know how headstrong you can be. How brave and loyal. You are my daughter, after all.

But do not try to come after me, Mija. I have to follow the path I started, and you can’t walk it with me.