Chapter 08 - Axel
When I met Amelie, I felt we could be good friends. When I met EVE, I felt I had found my half. I wasn't a guy who dreamed of getting married, having children, and building a family. In fact, I didn't think about anything other than living for myself. But having EVE in my life triggered things. There was something special about her that made me want to be around her all the time. "Don't fall in love with a whore," they say. I'm sure every man has fallen in love with a whore. The difference between me and them was that I didn't have to pay.
As time went by, I got closer and closer to Amelie. We were good friends, and I was trying to get used to her exchanges. Being with EVE was a delight, and I loved it, but talking to Amelie was cozy. She was loving and sincere, but not romantically. It had always been obvious to me that she liked Dorian. And because I was close to him, I knew that he had a strong interest in her. I thought all was lost for me, but when I finally realized that she and EVE weren't the same person, everything fell into place. EVE liked me and chose me, just as I chose her. I wasn't so sure that Amelie knew everything, but my hunch was that she did. In any case, I allowed myself to be with EVE, just as Dorian allowed himself to get close to Amelie.
"I don't understand all this fuss," Dorian told me once when we were packing up the huge stock of clothes. It was the early days of Lowe's and OWeLL's didn't exist yet. We were still trying to understand Amelie and EVE, because it was new, in a way. "I never know who I'm talking to. Do you?" he asked me.
"Not always. I thought I was talking to one, and it was the other," I confessed. It was unlikely that he hadn't experienced the same thing. It would have been shameful if it had only been me.
"I think Amelie is calmer. EVE is rougher and more violent. The way she speaks says that too," he commented. "I mean, I can see that personality difference, so I guess it's just separating them, isn't it?" he said. It made sense, but maybe it wasn't so good to leave things so black and white.
"I think you're right, Dorian. But that would be assuming that Amelie can't be blunt, and EVE can't be more romantic. I think limiting them would only irritate them," I said.
"Then I don't think we can let her know," he said, laughing. "Do you think there's any chance of either of them disappearing?" he asked me.
"I don't think that's a good conversation to have, Dorian," I said, trying to change the subject. Although I did have a certain personal interest. "We both know where we stand on all this. I like them both, but EVE..." I said, without finishing.
"I know. You know it's the same with me, only with Amelie," he said. "I mean, Amelie's the real one, isn't she? If one of them has to disappear, it only makes sense if it's EVE," he said.
"Maybe," I said, not wanting to admit that he was right. "But I'm not going to stop believing that the opposite could happen. In fact, I prefer to think that none of this will happen, and we'll have both of them."
"I'm not a big fan of sharing," he said to me, as we exchanged boxes of stock.
"You don't have to share. Leave EVE to me and find someone else. It's simple," I said. I wouldn't lose to Dorian. He stared at me as if declaring war.
"Is this some kind of challenge, Axel? I have many reasons to believe that Amelie is also attracted to me. As far as I know, EVE only uses you," he said. Words that hurt.
So we were like two teenagers in high school. "At least we're doing something. Have you and Amelie come to anything yet?" I asked, even though I knew it was a rhetorical question.
After that day, we only spoke about it a few times. Dorian continued to know that I and EVE had our moments. And his relationship with Amelie didn't seem to be getting anywhere. In a way, I felt bad for them, but I also had my own battles. Being with EVE made me want to build a life with her, which forced me to clarify my feelings for her. She didn't reject me directly, I mean, she didn't try to push me away or anything like that. All she did was say that she didn't want to be engaged. She liked her job at OWE, after all. I didn't want to take that away from her, because I knew how important it was. But of course, as an official partner, I would only want her for myself, and that didn't include Dorian with Amelie. Which would be a problem. The point is that I'd be ready to deal with it later, but I hadn't even reached that stage. At least I still maintained my intimacy with her, when the shifts worked out, and she didn't have an exorbitant amount of clients. Sometimes I was disgusted by some of the guys who came in, and I felt like stopping them. EVE didn't turn away anyone who paid the right amount. I wasn't allowed to turn anyone away. Out of respect for her, I never refused.
With this new guy, things were changing. I mean, EVE and Amelie's oscillations were more evident. Before, they were more time. Amelie in the morning, EVE at night. Were they really considering giving him a chance? Had they already? I really wanted to know. I plucked up the courage and went to the stockroom, even though she didn't want me to.
"What do you want? I told you not to bother me," she said as she angrily sorted through her clothes. "Is it important?" she asked.
"Do you really want to be with Carbon Moz?" I asked, without making a fuss. I really cared about both of them anyway. Dorian also shared the same feeling.
"He's just another customer, Axel," she said, without making eye contact with me, and still handling boxes and clothes.
"A customer you see in the morning?" I asked her. EVE always only worked in the evening. "And since when do you?" I asked.
"Axel, I don't want to have this conversation now," she said. "And honestly, it's none of your business," she said thickly.
"It's none of my business? Who's talking to me now? EVE or Amelie?" I asked, moving closer. "I care about you, and I think there's something particularly strange about that man," I said. "Please, Amelie, open your eyes to this."
"I agree," Dorian said, appearing. "You can't risk it like this," he added.
"You're too nosy. We're partners and friends, that's all. I don't want you invading my personal life, or EVE's," she said, finally facing us.
"Don't pretend it doesn't affect us, Amelie," Dorian said. "Everyone in this room is connected to it," he said. I agreed.
"Do you want to know what's going on? Do you want to know why Carbon Moz invited me today?" she asked, not expecting an answer. "He accepts me. He accepts me as Amelie, and he accepts me as EVE. In the same way and manner. It's something that none of you have been, or are, capable of doing," she said, leaving the room, huffing.
Dorian and I looked at each other. There was nothing to say. She was right.