Chapter 4: One step at a time
I try to quickly finish my lovely breakfast, shoving as much as I can in my mouth, trying to forget that his lips just touched mine, and now I’m eating a meal HE prepared.
The thought of him making an amazing breakfast for me, kissing me goodbye, and asking me out on a 'proper date', as he referred to it, was mesmerizing.
He probably genuinely likes me and made a romantic breakfast for me, and actually, it was the best French toast I’ve ever had, not eggy at all, full of vanilla flavor and smooth with every bite.
I thought Sam was a logical person, someone who prioritized the mind before all, or maybe a solid soldier potential. I thought I met a man, who’d be indifferent in the morning, who’d just screw and blow.
My intentions weren’t clear I guess, I was too shy to confront him just earlier, I’m smitten with him, his body most importantly, and carrying the burden of his happiness is the last thing I want to do.
His life is probably messed up, or maybe a complete perfection, a success or a failure, either way, he’s a lovely man and he deserves the best.
Luckily for him, I’m not selfish, and I won’t do anything that will add my heavy burdens to what he has on his shoulders, make him or me miserable, and simply make all those charms and sweetness disappear.
I expected him to just leave in silence, but he made the loudest noise now that my brain is actively thinking about him, did a guy like him just ask me out?
It was unexpected of him, the way things happened made me think that he was used to doing one-time stands, and I didn’t think he’d want to date me, or ever see me again. Here he was hinting that he may like me, but that could just be part of his seducing tactics.
I’m used to being approached by nerds, awkward guys. Guys tremble when a female stands next to them, and when they speak they swallow half the words they try to say, due to nervousness, but Sam is the opposite kind of guy I usually attract. I may even say he’s another breed.
He’s confident, well put together, with a hot body and a sharp mind, his conversations are enticing for me. My brain finds that it’s illogical to reject him, he’s everything a girl can ever wish to find in a man; I can’t find any argument to convince myself, besides the pact I have with myself and the weight of a relationship, No, please. I can’t do
I don’t know where my brain was when I brought him home, but now I’m in a tight spot, If he comes to find me here it won’t be easy to flee his grip, so I hope he doesn’t come to find me at my apartment because I don’t know what would be the right thing to do.
I don’t think I can tell anyone about him not even my friends because they’ll push me to go see him and I’m not sure if I can resist the tide.
But it’s gonna be hard to keep things from V and Allen. They’re human lying detectors, I don’t remember being able to hide anything from them, so I give up on their powers, without even trying.
I collected the things I’ll need for class, my laptop, pencils, and a notebook.
For a second my eyes caught a piece of the rubber I broke yesterday on the floor, while the rest of it was on the desk, this view made me revive the memory of yesterday, a memory I’m actively trying to let go, but I hardly can control my lips who drew a smile on my face without a warning my efforts are going in vain.
Okay, Rose, you should forget the amazing night you had with him, It’s your first time and he may not be the best sex you’ll ever have. Even if it’s hard to think otherwise, I don’t think it’s easy to top that, I know my body very well and I humbly admit that I give myself great orgasms, but he, a stranger made me have the best release I had so far even if I’m feeling a bit sore, but it was worth it.
I walked out of the house in haste, I had two classes this morning, with a 15-minute break between them.
I live near campus so I just walk my way to class, It’s just one block away, and the intersection I have to cross has a 5 min green light since it’s one of the biggest intersections in the city and it kind of leads to every place you’d need to go in the morning, so I have to always leave five minutes earlier to make it in time.
I finally got there, people were dispersed all over the place. As I walk towards my department in steady steps, my eyes catch Allen with a few people I don’t know, as I always do, whenever I walk with him, It feels like he’s a celebrity walking around. He’s a social butterfly sometimes I think he probably knows the whole city.
He saw me from a distance, waved; talked again to the group of people he was standing with; and a few seconds later he was walking towards me.
I’ve known Allen for two years now, he’s a great lad, we met freshman year in one of those integration ceremonies, and we played chess; It turns out he’s a great fan of J. R. R. Tolkien and we both find him a genius.
We met V during a freestyle contest that she won so easily, she looks as soft as a cloud, but she spits fire. Since then we have been a trio who’s always there for each other.′
He gave me a sweet hug ” You made it early!” he exclaimed
" I couldn’t resist my alarm tone, so I got up and started dancing ” We chuckled and started walking to class. We both have this class so we go together.
He suddenly commented ” Your face is glowing, did you get a promotion before you even started ?” he asked ironically.
I chuckled and said curtly “No”
" New skincare routine?” he genuinely asked.
“No, It’s been a year since I've seen my dermatologist ”
His eyes were doubtful at first, then they started widening ” Did you do what I think you did?”
At that instant blood rushed to my face and I could feel my cheeks turning red Instantly, I couldn’t deny it, I hated that he could read through me so easily.
" We gotta tell V, she’d be so thrilled about you having a boyfriend” he seems so excited, maybe too excited.
" No, let’s not make it bigger than it is. It was a one-time thing” he looked disappointed for a second.
" Did he leave right after sex? ” He asked his voice filled with worry.
" "No, he left in the morning” I replied, as he continued his series of questions.
" So he left without saying goodbye or anything ?”
I replied with tiredness in my voice “No he made me french toast” he looked at me waiting for me, so I continued” We had breakfast together” his eyes kept looking at me, asking for more ” he asked me out before he left”
He asked wondering “So why is it a one-time thing?”
" Isn’t it obvious, I’m busy and with the new job, I don’t think I can juggle a person with all the goals I have” I firmly replied.
“Well, you’re making a mistake Roseanne, he seems to know what he’s doing and he seems to be boyfriend material ”
I replied ” I know, I’m the one who’s not a girlfriend material ”