Chapter 3
"Wake the hell up."
The light pouring in from the open window stung my eyes. My head felt like it was in a
vice-grip.
“Didn’t I tell you not to be here anymore?”
The blinding glare from the window, Grace’s incessant clapping, the ringing in my ears. I
wanted to throw up.
I tried getting up but she shoved over. My body couldn’t handle the sudden jerky movement.
I emptied the contents of my already hollow stomach.
I leaned back against the bed, a sorry sight of a half-empty suitcase, a disoriented woman,
and a puddle of vomit.
Grace wretched at the horrifying exhibit. I couldn’t blame her.
“What a waste of such a pretty dress. It would look better on me anyway. Why am I even
talking to you? You know what? Get out. Get your ass up and get out NOW.”
The gravity of my predicament truly hit me. Where the hell was I supposed to go? How
would I survive? I didn’t have family or friends, I sure as hell couldn’t go back to the
orphanage. I didn’t even have a job. What the hell was I supposed to do?
“B–but, what do you expect me to do now?” I asked.
“Find a bottom-feeder like yourself and shack up with him.” Grace yelled. “You had one job.
One. Be a wife, give your husband kids. You couldn’t even do that. You’re a failure of a
woman.”
I couldn’t take it. “He never wanted kids and you know it, Grace. You know that.”
“Don’t you dear blame my son for your failures as a woman. He's always wanted kids. You
couldn’t provide him with that. I don't know how you deceived him for so long but all that matters
is that he's seen the light."
She grabbed my suitcase and hurled it out of the room. I tried to stop her but I couldn’t have
stopped a child in the state I was. She grabbed my open luggage, not caring about the
clothes falling out, and ignoring my screaming. Down the stairs, we went as I tried picking up
as much of my clothes as I could.
"Grace, please. I don't have anywhere to go." I tried wiping the salty tears and snot staining
my face but they kept on coming. "Please, I'm begging you, Grace."
My eyes found him at the foot of the staircase, glaring up at Grace. My Prince Charming had
come to save me. My heart did pole vaults in my chest. Grace loosed her grip on my
suitcase, I could almost see the steam pouring out of her ears.
He turned his back on me and headed for the kitchen. I ran down to find him hunched over a
bowl of Coco pops - his favourite - like it was a regular Tuesday. The crunch of the cereal
snapped me out of my haze. "Auden? Honey?" He said nothing, didn't even look at me.
"Auden, she's kicking me out," I whined like a little girl to her doting father. "Auden do
something." My knees buckled. "Auden, please. I'm begging you, do something." My voice
broke when I heard Grace continue her march-out with my luggage. I couldn't take it. I
clutched at my chest, squeezing, clenching, trying to rip the pain away. Why did it hurt so
bad? He wouldn't even -- "--look at me. Auden, please." My eyes hurt, and my chest felt hollow.
"Auden? Auden, please. She’s kicking me out.” I ran to him and tried to hold his face. “Auden,
please do something.” He pushed my hands away, not once looking at me. I glanced back
and forth between him and the rampaging Grace. I knew she’d soon come for me.
I fell to my knees and clutched his leg. “Auden, please. Don’t do this to me.” The man I loved
kept eating his cereal while I begged him for shelter. “Auden, I'm begging you. I don’t have
anywhere to go. I’ll do anything.”
“You’ve done enough,” Grace yelled, marching towards me. “You’ve overstayed your
welcome. Now leave.”
“Auden, I–” Unimaginable pain seared through my scalp as she took hold of my hair, pulling
me away from him. “Auden, Auden, please.”
The pain was unbearable. All I could think about was my hair being ripped out of the roots.
And still, it was nothing compared to the anguish of my broken heart. I went numb, my mind
breaking from all the stress I was feeling. I was voluntarily letting myself be dragged out by
Grace without so much as a fight.
I tested my pain tolerance by fighting against her pull, twisting my neck around, hoping I
would find him watching me, hoping I would find pity in his eyes, hoping to look into my eyes
would snap him out of his malice for me.
He wasn't there.
I finally snapped. The pain I'm my chest gave way to emptiness. He wasn't there. He didn't
care.
Grace's grip loosened and I felt her hand on the small of my back leading me out. She
wasn't yelling anymore. If she didn't hate me so much, I'd have thought she felt pity for me.
Even my evil mother-in-law pitied me. What a life. I felt like I was floating, like I was watching
this all happen to someone else.
I heard the lock click behind me. In front of me, my things were strewn all over the front lawn.
I heard the murmurs and then looked up to find prying eyes all around me, ogling from behind
window blinds. I knew none of these people would lend a helping hand. All they wanted was
gossip material.
Then the water came. They'd turned on the sprinkler system. I had to scramble to scoop up
my sparse belongings off the front lawn. I quickly stuffed them in my wet suitcase.
I walked and walked, without a destination in mind. I had no family, no friends. Nowhere to
go. I felt so lonely, so unworthy of love. I felt so empty.
All for the best I guess. The alternative was to feel all the pain, all the hurt, all at once. I'd
probably have lost my mind. My numbness kept me going.
CRASH.
I looked into the alley to my left to find a drunk, homeless man. He looked longingly at his
broken bottle of bear on the ground. I felt sorry for him. And then I remembered the squatters
from across the restaurant.
Hope filled my chest, I walked and walked until I found it, a destitute house at the end of the
street.
I looked around to see no one around. With a silent prayer of forgiveness to the owners, I
walked into my new life.