3. Illuminated Shadows
The moon, a glowing white, looms large, surrounded by a glow that paints the mountains and the floor in grotesque shadows. The wind blows cold, sending shivers down my spine and shaking the leafless branches.
I look over my shoulder at the house. I have put a great distance between us, with the mountains to my left and the woods to my right. I walk down the trail, the same trail my father takes every morning to the village.
It winds between trees and disappears underneath patches of grass at some points. Carts and horses do not use this road, and it remains my father’s private path. I walk for hours, breathing in the cold air and feeling my shoulders drop their tension.
For a moment, I forget about the torment in my mind. For a moment, the silence is comforting.
The sounds of the village slowly overcome the sound of my steps on the gravel. My heart hammers in my chest as the sounds get closer and soon I can see the glow of lights.
And just like that, terror courses through me.
I step off the trail and hide behind the trunk of a tree, tilting my head until I can see the village without giving myself away.
Laughter filters through the air, and I can hear people dancing and singing. What courses through me is not the excitement I was expecting. All at once, I crumble in a twisted ball of anxiety.
Who would I speak to? What would I even do in the middle of complete strangers?
I watch as children run between houses. I watch as a man grabs a woman by the waist and presses his lips to hers. My eyes widen, wondering why that even seems appropriate, much less enjoyable. My mouth turns dry and I chastise myself in my mind.
What was I thinking?
I have never even spoken to anyone apart from my parents since I was born. Why did I think I could do this?
I shake my head, pressing my hand to my chest and divertedly decide to make my way back home.
The way back feels like a failure and my head hangs between my shoulders. The comfort that the darkness and the silence had given me is out of my reach and my mind reels as I search for it again.
It doesn’t come.
Instead, I keep walking until I reach the last stretch of trail that will bring me home. The woods sit on my left now and when I look over; the trees shake. My chest constricts and I hiss when a pulse runs through my head.
The pain feels inviting. Familiar.
A flutter of wings has me looking up as Shadow flies overhead. She tilts her head at me and flies directly into the forest.
My eyes widen in shock and I look at the house, pursing my lips before deciding to follow her and the feeling that is gnawing at my chest. Leaves crunch under my boots and I hesitantly step over the threshold, placing myself in the darkness.
All at once, the trail behind me disappears, the woods turn thick, and the moonlight ceases its shine.
A twig snaps to my right and I gasp, spinning in place to look between the endless trees.
I see nothing.
That same dread that has been creeping up my spine all day suddenly reaches its peak. I become numb, though I can feel the adrenaline that pumps through me.
It pulses in my ears.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
The woods blur around me just as more twigs snap. The sounds come from all directions and I frantically spin on my heels to find where it is coming from. To find who it is coming from.
The darkness triples, making me feel as if gravity itself stops existing.
Whispers surround me. The voices are scratchy and scornful. Loud and demanding. They weigh on me as if they hold physical influence. The voices shriek and beg and cry.
“Coward.”
“Save us.”
“Free us.”
“Do you not know what you have done?”
“Do you not know who you are?”
“Better you be dead with us than be where you are.”
I cover my ears and shut my eyes tightly, muttering to myself that this could not possibly be real. I fall to my knees, wailing as the weight becomes too much for me to hold.
And just like that, the voices stop.
The weight lifts.
I keep my hands on my ears, but I slowly open my eyes.
The moonlight reappears, shedding its silvery light across the floor. I can see my breath in the air and feel the burn in my chest. Steadily, I drop my hands from my ears and lift my head.
The dark woods before me seem alive. As if the whispers came from the trees themselves. Dizziness overcomes me and I drop onto my hands, heaving from my nauseous stomach.
“Raven.”
I gasp, sitting up straight and whip my head around to see where that comes from. The voice is gentle, caressing almost.
But I see no one.
I hesitantly stand, wiping my sweaty palms on my cloak before taking a step back.
“Raven, do not go.”
Terror freezes my blood and I stand still, not understanding how I can hear a voice from a person I cannot see.
“We have only just found you.”
The voice remains gentle and sweet and now turns familiar.
I bite the inside of my lip and my voice shakes. “Wh-who are you?”
It chuckles warmly. “That is a long story.”
My shoulders drop from their tense position and I look around again, still not seeing anything but stark shadows from the trees.
I narrow my eyes, my chest becoming less constricted with every second. “Where are you? Why can’t I see you?”
“Do you wish to see me? Many don’t.”
I frown, “Why not?”
“They’re afraid. I can tell you are too.”
“I am not,” I try my best to school my voice, but I can feel the trembling in my throat.
It chuckles again, “Of course not, Raven.”
The kind voice contradicts the panic in my chest, and I finally force myself to take a calming breath. “Can I see you?”
“You wish to see me?”
It’s odd, but I can hear the smile in its voice.
I nod, “I do.”
A glow flourishes from behind the trees, bright enough to where I have to cover my eyes at first. But the glow dies down to an ember and where fear once left me speechless, I am now overcome by a strange feeling of beauty.
I am mesmerized by the light and it offers me a warmth I had not realized I was missing. It tingles my skin, drawing me in with every pulse of light.
This is what I thought I would feel at the village.
I step toward it, only for it to respond with its own advance.
It moves like a person, but it is made strictly from light. Slowly, I make out its shape. It floats ethereally, with wisps of light billowing out into the darkness. Though its shape oscillates and moves with the wind, I make out an arm, a head and long, flowing hair.
My eyes widen as I notice it does not walk on two legs, but floats and hovers just above the ground. It stops close enough to where its feminine features become apparent, though I have to swallow my tongue to stop myself from gasping when half of her face isn’t covered in soft light. Instead, a dark skeleton protrudes from the glow.
A smile lifts half her face, and she floats higher in the air, spinning. As she does, her scent wafts toward me and it ignites a feverish and pleasant affection deep in my chest.
As if I know her more than I know myself.