Chapter 6
Sarabella POV
So, this was it. I had a fated mate. While my body felt the sparks and the attraction, why did my brain seem on guard, blocking the celebration from expanding to my heart, with my gut telling me I was right for doing so? Something felt off and I didn’t want to get my hopes up. My only reaction was to clutch to my sister's arm, as she dragged me away from the hall, up to our bedroom. We were joined by 3 broad shoulders guys, but before the convoy escorted me to my room, I felt a pull, an urge to look back.
And there I saw him. Briefly, too briefly. Tall, and large. Shoulders so large that our escorts would look like twigs beside him. I could only catch a glimpse of his torso but was already intrigued and intimidated. His dark hair was long enough on the top to caress his temples but was clean-cut on the bottom. Even from afar, I could notice the fine curtain of lashes that highlighted a piercing grey look that was attached to me. A long shiver ran through my spine, but we were cut off by the oak doors before I could understand. Two frozen seconds in time I couldn’t get off my mind.
Now, I was sitting on my bed, with Malia pacing the floor so repeatedly that, with the weight of her worries, I thought the ground would shatter under her. She kept darting glances at me, without saying a word. I knew that she was trying to gather her questions before asking me anything. And with a fated mate, I was wary of, and with a stranger I was oddly attracted to at hand, I would gladly get my mind off of it and answer her concerns, as I can guess what they were.
“How long are you planning to keep going? You will soon dig a hole in the ground with your pacing. And I bet I already have a hole made through my head with your consistent glancing.” I just softly told her, a light smile trying to comfort her.
She sighed loudly, heavily. “You always do this. Putting on some mask, hiding behind it. When will you stop thinking it works with me?”
I couldn’t help but scoff. “I never once thought it worked with you. But sometimes, sharing one’s burden isn’t helping the situation. That’s all. So now, ask.”
“Do you have a wolf?” She just blurted out, standing right in front of me. Pain was dancing in her eyes, and I could sense Shila's sorrow laced in her voice. Sadness was painted all over her face and I reached out my hands, cupping gently her cheeks.
“No.”
I didn’t think it would be so hard to admit. My voice didn’t fail and was soft, but solid. “Well, I don’t think so. That is why I was excited about the ceremony. I thought maybe the voices inside my head would turn out to be only one.”
“Voices? Like in plural?”
I nodded. “Shila says you are not an empty shell…”
I scoffed again, my head tilted to the side. “That’s one way to say it Shila, wow.” I could hear the distress in her voice, as she looked at me with all the compassion in the world.
“I don’t have a wolf. I know it.” I reiterated, trying to get rid of the lump forming in my throat. “Having a fated mate didn’t trigger anything like I hoped for. So now I’m very doubtful that the ceremony would even help. Voices didn’t go away or get any clearer.”
She paused for a long time, distancing from me, pacing around aimlessly again, biting her bottom lip, twirling a mesh of hair around her finger. She made me dizzy, but I waited for her, patient. “How long have you known?”
“For a while. Before you come at me, do not resent me, Malia Lobo. It was not an easy topic. And with one secret of that importance already between us, it was enough. Adding mine would only put you in danger.”
“I could’ve protected you. Like you protected me until now. I… will forgive you. But no more secrets.”
Tearfully, she locked her eyes into my dark blue eyes. I called her by her full name which I only did when I wanted to get sense into her without any arguing. She bowed her head in silence again and came back close to me in a few strides, planting a soft kiss on my forehead.
“It’ll be over soon. And truth be told, considering the circumstances, I am glad you get to avoid the Claiming.”
I looked out the window, though at this hour, the darkness made it impossible to see anything. I sighed, before looking at her again.
“I don’t know. I have a bad feeling about all this. Not totally bad, obviously, but what if there was a problem with my pairing?” I saw her frown, her expression darkening a bit more. “I truly think the twin bond is messing things up with the sharing when touching, but I am concerned, what if you feel it when…”
She burst into laughter, cutting the tension off, as I could feel my cheeks burning from the shame of the thoughts and what I just said.
“I don’t know much about the extent of our special bond, but I could share your feelings only by having that direct contact with you while he had a grip on you. I do not intend on sharing a room with you, and less to hold the candle and even worse your hand while you are at it with your mating. Maybe our bond is meddling with yours and stayed open because you are not marked yet.”
“Didn’t think about that part. Didn’t know you could be that wise.”
She winked playfully in response. “Didn’t think you could think of such nasty things. We are even.” I pouted as she shoved me softly.
After a few more minutes of silence, she turned to save me, all serious again.
“Maybe I am one to think too much, but from what Mom and Dad told us, shouldn’t you be in pain to be apart from him right now? Not that I wish for you to be, I genuinely saw the happiness in your eyes when you saw him, but I don’t think I am wrong to think there is something not right.”
I kept quiet for a few seconds, gathering my thoughts, and pondering if I should get into the details of the pull I felt towards another man right after meeting my fated mate. Her eyes were full of questions, heavy with insistence. I knew she was there to support me, and would definitely resent me if I were to hide something else from her.
“Technically speaking, nothing is missing. If there is anything wrong, it is something extra in the equation.”
Her confused look didn’t budge from me, and her tight lips were asking everything without Malia even pronouncing a word.
“As we walked out the hall, I felt someone watching me. And I felt the urge to look back as if my life wouldn’t be whole, complete if I didn’t look back, that it would be the biggest regret of my life. At first, I thought it was the pain you were referring to, that it was the mate bond holding me back. But oh, I was wrong. My eyes fell directly on a different man.”
I didn’t even stutter. I just babbled, trying to describe to the best of my ability what I felt at that moment.
“Just thinking of it, I… he was the most perfect man I ever laid my eyes on. My logic tells me it’s wrong, that it was like cheating on my new mate. But my heart and gut felt unmistaken even for the few seconds we looked at each other. It is weird. And complicated. More than it should. I have to admit I am getting cold-feeted.” I should be frustrated about everything instead of being petrified. And here I was, frustrated that I was not frustrated. If that made sense.
Silence stumbled upon us again, both deeply lost in thoughts. There were times I thought Malia would say something but she didn’t. At some point, Dad came to get her and escort her to her room, while I stayed in mine, guarded now by three more big guys.
Trapped, I decided to surrender for the night and got ready to go to bed with a heavy heart and loaded brain.