5. Claire: Leaving
CLAIRE
The dance with Nik lingers in my mind long after we part ways. The enigmatic alpha of Blood Moon pack. I've heard the stories over the years—the things that people say about his austere demeanor— and his formidable presence as alpha of the Blood Moon Pack.
People from my pack back home paint him as a man of shadows, cloaked in mystery and power. Yet, from our single, brief interaction, beneath the surface, there’s something that I didn’t expect. A complexity to him that defies the rumors. The man with bright burning eyes who looks intense but simultaneously was willing to come to the rescue of a woman he doesn’t even know so she didn’t get her toes crushed at her wedding.
I hadn’t realized who he was at first— James and Nik don’t look anything alike. The similarities end with the fact that they’re both breathtakingly gorgeous. In spite of myself, a flutter of in my chest sparks to life at the sight of his dark hair and sharp jawline, the intense pull of his dark eyes. I quickly shove those thoughts away, trying not to linger on the magnetic tug I feel at the center of my chest pulling me toward him. A tiny wedge of guilt simmers at the way my body responds to the sight of him— I am married now after all. It’s not like I can help it though— I’m convinced even a blind person could tell how gorgeous he is.
I can feel his eyes linger on us as I step away into the crowd with his brother. James makes the rounds with me, briefly introducing me to a few advisors from his pack council— our pack council.
As James and I finish our preparations to leave, he pulls me aside, his expression tinged with a flicker of unease. We step away from the crowd, finding a secluded corner where the music fades into a distant melody.
"Claire," James begins, his voice low, "there's something I need to tell you."
I meet his gaze, my stomach turning over in unease, "What is it?"
He takes a moment to gather his thoughts, his brow furrowed in contemplation. “Before we leave, I wanted you to be aware that most of my Pack doesn't realize that we got married today," he admits, his tone tinged with apprehension. "It wasn't something we broadcasted, and... well, there might be some surprise when we return."
I blink in surprise, the revelation catching me off guard. “You didn’t tell them?” I repeat, a sense of disbelief creeping into my voice.
James nods, the carefree demeanor he’s worn throughout the night replaced with something more solemn. "No, the majority of my pack doesn’t know yet. And... there might be some backlash when the news spreads."
I furrow my brow, struggling to comprehend the implications of his words. "But why keep it a secret?" I ask, a note of confusion coloring my tone.
He sighs, his gaze shifting to the ground for a moment before meeting mine again. "It's complicated, Claire. A few of my council members thought it best to keep our marriage under wraps until everything was official. An arranged marriage like ours…it’s unusual. And my advisors thought it would be best to announce it to the pack after the fact in case things didn’t go to plan.”
I chew on his words, a mixture of surprise and uncertainty swirling within me. The thought of returning to Ember Claw Pack land with this newfound knowledge that no one is even expecting me… “I don't understand," I confess, my voice barely above a whisper, “You expected my parents to back out of their agreement?”
James reaches out, his hand gently squeezing mine in a gesture of reassurance. "I know it's a lot to take in, but... we'll navigate this together, Claire. Whatever happens, we'll face it as a united front."
I find myself nodding woodenly in silent agreement. It’s going to take some time to get used to that, though. Some time for me to wrap my head around the fact that my transition into my new role is going to be more challenging than I’d initially expected. The rest of the wedding reception passes by in a blur of laughter and music. When the time comes, I bid farewell to my friends and parents and it’s bittersweet. Even though I’d planned for this moment— having to leave them and my life behind— it still feels surreal. Like a dream that I’ll wake up from at any moment. I have to shove back the hot flood of tears threatening to escape as I hug them and my friends goodbye.
The drive back to the Ember Claw Pack land is accompanied by an unsettling silence, broken only by the rhythmic hum of the engine. One of James' Betas— a man who appears close to James’s age who he introduced to me as Felix— acts as our chauffeur as we leave the reception hall. I can’t help but notice the unsettling way that Felix watches me in the rearview mirror with a gaze that sends a chill skittering down my spine. The ever present feeling of his eyes casts a shadow of discomfort over the entire journey. I can't shake the feeling of unease that clings to me like a heavy cloak. I distract myself by watching the trees pass by outside of the window while James makes a few phone calls to his — our— pack to inform them of our impending arrival.
Not far into our drive, Felix pulls the SUV into a service station so that we can refuel the car. I let out a heavy relieved breath at the short reprieve from the Beta’s uncomfortable leering stare.
“Are you alright, Claire?” The unexpected feel of James’s hand landing on my arm jolts me from my swirling thoughts.
I swivel in my seat to meet his light blue eyes which he has fixed on me, tight with concern.
I force a smile onto my face, and a brightness into my voice I don’t really feel, “I’m alright. Just as little tired is all.”
It’s not a complete lie, the day really had been draining.
James studies me for a drawn out moment, “Are you sure there’s not something else?”
Should I bring up the weird way that Felix was watching me? Before I can decide, something that looks like understanding streaks across James’s face.
“I hope you know that I meant what I said earlier tonight when we spoke before dinner” he says, “I want this marriage to be something that we can both be happy in.”
I blink at him in surprise, wondering where he’s going with this, “I’d like that too.”
“So if you’re concerned with the prospect of sealing the Bond between us, I wanted to make sure you know that there’s no rush for us to do it tonight.”
I blink up at him in surprise, my cheeks flushing. It’s no secret that after the wedding where we commit to each other publicly that it’s expected for a pair to Bind themselves to each other in a more permanent way in private by Marking each other in a physical way with bites.
I’ve been expecting James to want to seal our Bond as quickly as possible, so his words come as a bit of a shock. But a Binding will essentially be impossible for me without the ability to Shift.
I take a deep breath to settle my nerves. Well, here it goes. I just need to rip the bandaid off and tell him.
I hold his gaze with a boldness I don’t really feel, “I’m not sure what my parents told you, but my ability to Shift hasn’t surfaced yet.”
James blinks once in shock, considering my words, but quickly recovers, “That’s alright. There’s still time. It will actually work out better for us this way. It will give us the chance to get to know each other better first before the Binding.”
My fingers twist into knots in my lap as I try to fight off my blush, “But, as the Alpha, isn’t it expected that you’ll Bind yourself to your Luna as quickly as possible after marriage?”
He levels a warm grin my way, the same one he’d worn throughout our wedding reception, “It may be expected, but it’s not required. So you don’t need to worry. I want our Binding to be built on something real, and I’m sure you do too. I believe that’s something that takes time. We’ll take things at our own pace, together. You’ll Shift when the timing is right. I’m sure of it.”
I nod in agreement, a flicker of hope igniting within me again. I hold on to his words and that spark of hope as Felix returns and we continue our journey to pack territory. I can’t help but cling to the possibility of that something more.