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6. Claire: Betrayal

CLAIRE

—18 Months Later—

As I pull my car up to James's office building, clutching the bag of food from his favorite restaurant, I can't shake the feeling of unease that's been gnawing at me for weeks now. Our relationship has been strained lately, with James coming home later and later, always with some excuse about work. I've tried to be understanding, but it's been wearing on me, this constant sense of distance between us.

For the thousandth time I wish that there was someone I could talk to about this. A friend, a neighbor, someone. But I haven’t been able to connect with anyone enough in the past year and a half I’ve lived in Ember Claw pack to have built any sort of friendship with. All the females in the pack look at me like I’ve stolen someone right out from under them. Stolen their chances of being pack Luna. While all the males in Ember Claw refuse to spare me so much as a glance—too afraid to offend their Alpha.

It doesn’t leave many opportunities for friendship.

It hasn’t stopped me from trying though. I’ve been to all the pack functions, the pack runs, set up monthly luncheons for the pack females to get together. But nothing. My chest aches for all the friends I’d left behind in Silver Light Pack when I moved here. But I especially miss Paige and Landon.

My two best friends who I’ve barely been able to talk to since the day of the wedding. I spoke to them a lot at first, but as time went on, it got too hard hiding the growing strain. I got too tired of lying to them to keep them from worrying about me—especially since there’s nothing they can feasibly do to fix anything. I wonder what they would say about this entire situation…

I step into the lobby of the Ember Claw Pack office building, the smell of freshly brewed coffee mingling with the sound of ringing phones and clicking keyboards. The receptionist smiles at me as I approach, but her expression quickly changes when I ask if James is still in.

“Alpha Ashwood actually went out for lunch today," she informs me, her voice tinged with sympathy.

My heart sinks as I thank her and turn to leave. I had been hoping to surprise James, to spend some time with him and maybe even talk about what's been going on between us. But it seems I've missed my chance. I should have called ahead.

I make my way back to the car, the bag of food growing heavier in my hands with each step. I’ll take the food home and put it in the fridge so it doesn’t go to waste. Maybe we can have dinner together instead. As I drive towards home, though, I can't shake the feeling that something isn't right. The feeling only grows stronger as I pull into the driveway and see James's car parked out front, my stomach churns with apprehension.

I let myself into the house, the familiarity enveloping me. But there's something off about the atmosphere, a tension that hangs heavy in the air. My heart pounds in my chest as I notice James's jacket and shoes strewn haphazardly by the door, a clear sign that he had been in a hurry.

And then I see them – a pair of red heels discarded on the floor, a stark contrast to James's leather ones. A sense of dread washes over me as I realize what's happening, and I feel like I might be sick all over the kitchen floor.

I stumble my way upstairs, feeling numb, my heart racing. My footsteps echoing loudly in the nearly silent house. And then I see them – James tangled together with another woman on our bed, their remaining clothes scattered across the floor. I suck in a breathless gasp as I take in the scene before me, the betrayal cutting deep.

James freezes when he catches sight of me in the doorway.

“Claire?” His eyes narrow as he squints through the dim room, “What the hell are you doing here?”

Tears blur my vision as I turn and flee from the room, the sound of their voices fading into the background as I make my escape. I don't know where I'm going, only that I need to get away from here, away from the pain and the heartache that threatens to consume me.

I’m halfway down the driveway to my car when James catches up to me, his shirt still unbuttoned, his hair askew, “Claire, wait. Stop just a second. It’s not what you think.”

It’s not what I think?!

I spin on my heel, glaring up at him.

“It’s not what I think?” I ask in a deceptively calm tone, “I don’t think there’s any way that I could misinterpret the way another woman was straddling you naked in our bed.” I point back to the bedroom, the damning evidence hanging like a proverbial knife in the tense silence.

James’ eyes flicker, a fleeting moment of panic before settling into his usual facade of composure. “It’s nothing. A mistake.”

“A mistake?” My laugh is bitter as it echoes through the room. “Having sex with someone in our bed isn’t a mistake, James. It’s a choice.”

He hesitates, cornered by the undeniable truth. “What do you want me to say?” He sighs, hand running down his face. “I messed up. It meant nothing. It was just a moment of weakness.”

“How long?” I ask, my voice resigned.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t insult my intelligence, James. I know this wasn’t a one time thing. How long has this ‘moment of weakness’ been going on? Weeks? Months? Or is this something that’s been happening on and off the entire time we’ve been married?”

For the first time, a tinge of regret passes through his eyes, “Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to.”

Even though our marriage has been strained from the beginning, had never been a love match, his words still feel like a knife in the chest. I know now that it had been stupid of me to hope for anything else. It had been naive of me to believe that he might at least care about me and my feelings enough to refrain from humiliating me the way that he has.

I swallow around the lump in my throat. I will not cry. I will not. “We agreed we would try,” I say, tiredly, “When we first got married, we promised that we would try to make this marriage real—”

“And I have been.” He interrupts me to say.

Disbelief courses through me, “How can you say that you’ve been trying? You’ve been cheating on me, James.”

“Like I said, it was a mistake. You can’t expect me to be perfect. Especially considering the fact you still haven’t Shifted and I’m starting to think that you probably never will. It’s unheard of for a Pack to have a Luna without a single Shifting form. Not to mention the fact that we can’t complete the Binding if you’re Shiftless.”

In spite my best efforts, there’s a hitch in my breath betraying the feelings I’m trying so desperately to hide.

“Look,” he sighs, tiredly scraping a hand down his face, “I can’t do this right now. Let’s talk about this tonight.”

Without waiting for me to respond, he turns on his heel to head back into the house, leaving me alone in the driveway. I stand there for a moment, frozen to the spot. Finally I pull myself together enough to make my way back to my car and drive numbly to a place where I can park and think.

Now that I know what’s been happening, I can’t just pretend anymore. I can’t pretend the situation is anything but what it is. No matter how much I had been hoping otherwise, things aren’t going to get better. This marriage isn’t going to be anything more than betrayal and heartbreak.

And while I may have gone into this with my eyes wide open for my Pack…I don’t think I have it in me to sacrifice the rest of my life for someone who isn’t willing to make the same sacrifices for me in return.

And while it in no way excuses his actions, James is right about one thing. I still haven’t shifted. And if I’m looking at the situation candidly, I most likely never will. James wasn’t wrong when he said that it’s unheard of for a Pack to have a Luna without that ability. How long until the Pack realizes the same thing? And can I expect to keep my position here without it? Do I even want to?

It’s far past time that I decide what I’m going to do about it.

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