06

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" - John 3:16

Giovanna Rinaldi

• Yes. - That was melancholy.

• Even though I knew it wouldn't work out, the way it looked when I mentioned her name, she's very important.

• We'd known each other since we were ten, we went to school together, but I'd never been able to talk to her directly, I don't know why since I didn't have any problems with girls, but Lorena was different. One night she and her family came to my house for dinner and that's when it all started. Do you know how I felt when I found out that she reciprocated my feelings, it was so liberating, we were fourteen at the time. Our connection was incredible, not just in bed, but as a couple, we were one and the same, our relationship was perfect, we dated in hiding and over time my family found out, but they didn't interfere, they knew I would fulfill the marriage contract and Lorena would leave my life at some point. Our relationship lasted a long time, but she found out that I had to get married and it wasn't going to be to her. That was a blow to our relationship, Lorena was everything in my life, I loved her. - He spoke with such admiration of Lorena that I was surprised, just a few minutes ago she said that nobody was perfect, but now Lorena is perfect.

I don't know Lorena personally, but I know who she is, which makes me wonder: will my marriage be like Bianca and Ettore's? After all, they were the only ones who worked out. I'm sure of one thing: if he's willing to try to make this marriage work, of course I'll try with him, I believe that love can be built. After all, "We love because he first loved us" - 1 John, 4:19

• Giovanna? - Lorenzo called me and pulled me out of my internal conflict.

• Giovanna: Yes?

• Are you all right? - he asked, looking at me

• Yes, why wouldn't I be?

• I don't know, we're talking and out of the blue you get all serious and look at nothing.

• It's nothing, I was just thinking about everything you said, is there anything else?

• Yes, I'm 25, at 19 Lorena got pregnant. - she said and looked at me waiting for an answer

• So you have a son? - I asked, dreading his answer.

• No, I don't.

• How could I not? Did you just tell me that she got pregnant? - I asked curiously.

• My son was stillborn. - he said, and I could see the pain in his eyes.

• I'm sorry Lorenzo, losing a child isn't easy, I saw how my father was shaken by Giulia's early death. - I'm sorry for your loss.

• It's okay, it's over now, I'm not so much anymore. Lorena was very upset, so much so that she decided to end everything we had and left.

• And where is she now?

• I don't know, before she left, she left me a note, it clearly doesn't say where she went, she just said goodbye and wished me well on the wedding.

• I'm sorry about all this. You know I'm totally against this arrangement, but there's nothing we can do about the two of us, this agreement was signed before we were born.

• Unfortunately it's true, I want to learn to love you, Giovanna, we can build a beautiful family and a very beautiful future. - He revealed, looking into my eyes, and I felt a twinge of hope.

• Lorenzo, I want the same thing, but I'm afraid, Lorena could go back to Italy at any moment, and all this we're trying to do could just end. - I expose my insecurity and he smiles.

• Don't worry about it Giovanna, Lorena is part of my past, I want to build a new future with you, with our children. - Children? At the thought of them, my smile wilted, and he realized it and said something:

• What's wrong? You don't want children? - he asked disappointedly.

• It's not that, being a mother is one of my biggest dreams.

• So, what's the problem? I don't understand. - He's confused.

• The problem is that when the accident happened and that iron bar entered my belly, no problems were detected, which was a real miracle, but a few years later I discovered that my chances of getting pregnant had decreased. - he explained and I could see a sad look on his face.

• What do you mean? You can't have children? - he asked.

• I don't know for sure, my friend is a gynecologist, but I haven't had a chance to see her yet, she's living in Italy, the doctors I went to are all from Antonella, every time I look at the scar, I feel helpless. - I answer with my hand on the scar over my clothes.

• Let me see. - she asks with her hand on top of mine.

• I don't like anyone seeing it, I feel ashamed. My father said that I could have the scar corrected whenever I wanted, but I never did.

• Why?

• It reminds me of my sister, and all the shit that happened after that, the scar is part of who I am, but I don't feel ready to show it to you yet, okay?

• Of course, everything in its own time.

• Thank you for understanding. - I'm glad he accepted that, Lorenzo smiled and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

• No need to thank me, now to change the subject, how are things here? On the phone yesterday you sounded nervous and impatient.

• Antonella happened. - I'll answer.

• What is it this time?

• I really think she's crazy, lately she's been a bit upset, she keeps shouting to the four winds that I'm not her daughter and only Giulia was her beloved daughter, but there's no way I'm not her daughter, since Giulia and I are twins.

• Have you ever thought that she might have stolen you away in the maternity ward? - she said, and I laughed.

• That's very Nazaré Tedesco! Antonella is crazy, yes, but I don't think she went that far, but if she did... Oh my God! No, that's crazy, I'm not even going to think about it, it's too crazy.

• It certainly is, Antonella is a woman full of secrets.

• Yes, she is, but I don't want to know about it now.

• When are you leaving for Italy? It's a month until our wedding. - Lorenzo asked

• Next week, the 28th, it's Friday, aren't you coming with me?

• No, I'm leaving on Tuesday.

• I didn't know you were coming back before me, I thought we were going together.

• We were supposed to go, but I had a little problem in Italy and I'm going to have to go before you.

• Do I need to worry about that?

• Of course not. - I leaned my head on his shoulder and he began to give me a delicious cuddle.

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