Numb

Her

I walked into my last class of the day, my heart clenching when I noticed that Kian wasn’t sitting in the same spot as yesterday. He actually wasn’t sitting anywhere. Through the stares and the soft whispers, I shakily made my way to the desk.

Class went on as usual and I paid no attention to the problems on the board or the monotone voice that Mrs. Jacobs spoke with. Instead, I looked out the window, letting myself think about how I used to walk around campus, hand in hand with Micah.

It was crazy to think that I had only been living here for a year, dating Micah for almost as long. I didn't know how to exist here without him, and now I found myself with a constant flutter of nerves in the pit of my stomach.

I slammed my locker shut after my last class, walking the long way around and out the back of the building. I had successfully avoided Micah all day, and I wanted to keep that stroke of good luck going.

I walked home alone, looking down at my feet as I did. For a moment, I pictured myself running away, changing my name and starting a new life. But that would be too dramatic for the situation at hand.

The now familiar home stood in front of me and I made my way up the steps, the door creaking as I opened it. Rick sat on the couch, his uniform still on. His eyes were heavy with fatigue and he offered me a soft smile. I could only offer a small nod, still not used to him. Not even after a year later.

“Liz is in your room,” He spoke, returning his eyes back to the TV.

I froze, letting my backpack fall off my shoulder, “What?”

He frowned, looking at me as he tilted his head, “She was asking for you, I figured you wouldn’t mind if she waited for you in there.”

I nodded, my feet numb as I walked toward my room. I could feel my heartbeat throbbing in my ears. My breath turned shallow and I tightened my hands in fists, clenching my teeth together.

What the hell was she doing here? Showing up at my house unannounced, and letting herself into my room? I imagined myself punching her in the face and rejoicing in her broken nose.

I inhaled, trying to catch my breath and I pressed my forehead on the door, trying to sum up the courage to see her, not to mention punching her.

With anger on the forefront of my mind, I turned the knob, stepping into my room and coming face to face with the only friend I had made since I moved here.

She had been laying on my bed and she stood suddenly, twisting her hands together and looking at me with a small smile. I scoffed, raising an eyebrow, still in shock that she was here. She frowned, nervously tucking her hair behind her ears.

"Inesa-"

"Get out," I hardly mustered a whisper.

Her eyes widened and she blushed severely, stuttering through her words, "Please. I am so sorry-"

I shook my head, "There's nothing for us to talk about, Liz."

I walked into the room, setting my backpack on the chair in the corner and looking at her with my arms crossed on my chest.

"You're my best friend-"

"No. Not anymore."

Her eyes glistened with tears and her lips trembled, "I never meant to hurt you."

"Oh. How did you think I would feel about you sleeping with my boyfriend?"

I shut my eyes tightly at the memory of walking into Micah's room, only to see her wrapped around his body.

"Get out," I repeated, my teeth hurting from clenching my jaw so tight.

"But I-I love him."

My breath left my lungs and I looked at her, really looked at her. She was tired, her eyes red and her hair a mess. She looked pale, as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders.

"What?" I whispered.

"I have loved him since I was five, Inesa," She wiped the tear from her cheek, "Since we were neighbors and would make mud pies together, chasing each other on our bikes, getting yelled at by our parents for getting lost at the park. I love him."

I let my arms drop to my sides, shaking my head, "Why didn't you tell me?"

She smiled through her tears, shaking her head in disbelief, "Because, I saw the way he looked at you. He had never looked at me like that. He doesn't love me, he will never love me. Not the way that I love him."

"You never told me."

"It wouldn't have mattered."

"Of course it would've, Liz. I would've stayed away from him. For you." I sighed, disbelief covering my body in a icy feeling, "You were my friend before I was with him. I would've stayed away."

She rubbed her arm with her hand, "I am sorry."

I nodded, feeling the tears spill from my eyes, mirroring hers. "I know. But the truth is, you didn't tell me, and I didn't stay away. And now, I love him, too. You're the one that betrayed me. Both of you did." I ran my fingers through my hair, "I don't want to talk to you, Liz. Get out."

"Inesa-"

"Get the fuck out, Liz!"

She took a step back, surprised by my outburst. With a new wave of tears streaming down her face, she ran out of my room. I heard the front door slam before Rick's heavy footsteps echoed in the hallway.

He stopped at the door of my room and I lifted my eyes from the floor to look at him. His brows were in a frown and he eyed me carefully, "Uhhh, is everything okay?"

I shook my head, my resolve disintegrating and burst into tears. My shoulders shook and I sat on the edge of the bed, trying to rub my eyes dry with my hands. The bed dipped as he sat next to me, placing his heavy hand on my shoulder.

"Is there anything I can do?"

I shook my head, flinching away from his touch, "I found Micah sleeping with Liz."

He tensed, taking his hand from my shoulder and twisting his fingers together.

"I don't want to talk about my cheating ex-boyfriend with my cheating father. Please just leave me alone."

"Inny-"

"Don't call me that, Rick. Please. Just go."

He sighed heavily, before leaving the room, closing the door softly. I turned to the bed, buried my face into a pillow and cried until my face hurt.