Chapter 5
I gently guided Hana into the kitchen and turned on the water in the faucet. I made her stand in front of the sink as I stood behind her and held her hand under the water. She was nothing like what I had thought my son’s wife would be like. I had expected something more like his mother. But she was nothing like her. Hana was beautiful, not only on the outside, but the glimpses I had got of her personality told me it was just as lovely. I shouldn’t notice these things, I definitely shouldn’t imagine what she would look like naked in a bed or what sounds she would make as she came undone under my hands. But I was a bastard and that was exactly what I had fantasising about as I watched her leave to get the lawyer's phone number. The way her body fit into mine as I held her hand and tried to focus on assessing the damage, made it hard not to act on the fantasies. In the middle of her palm a piece of glass had punctured the skin.
“Do you have tweezers and a first aid kit?” I asked her. It came out almost as a whisper and I told myself I was trying to keep her calm. It has been a long time since I have seen a panic attack on the same scale as the one she had earlier. I had seen some of my brothers in the marines have them, I had been close to myself at times. Even though I was no expert, I made an educated guess that Hana’s attack came from previous trauma.
“Yes, in the bathroom I have a first aid kit, it should have a tweezer,” she told me.
“Is it okay if I go and get it?” I asked. I didn’t want to overstep, not with her already on edge. She nodded.
“It’s the door in the hallway,” she told me.
“I’ll be right back, keep your hand under the water.” I stopped myself just before I placed a kiss on the top of her head. It was bad that I had called her sweetness, twice. I needed to get my act together. She was half my age and my son’s wife, well ex-wife. But still. I hurried into her bathroom to get what I needed. As the rest of the apartment, it looked homey. It was decorated in warm colours and there were even plants in the windowless room. I grabbed the first aid kit and walked back to the kitchen. Hana stood where I left her, she looked exhausted and I felt guilty for barging in, making her bad evening even worse. I put the kit down on the counter beside the sink and resisted pulling her into my arms. She was not mine to protect and care for, I reminded myself. “Let me take a look at that,” I told her and tried to be gentle as she placed her hand in mine. Her trust in me made my heart thump. I took the tweezers and looked at her. “Maybe you should look away,” I suggested. She looked me in the eyes and nodded. She closed those beautiful blue eyes and before she could brace herself and tense up, I pulled the glass from her hand and put a compress on the wound it left, pressing it down with my thumb. Her eyes flew open and she looked at me and then at her hand.
“Thank you,” she said.
“My pleasure. Now. Let's sit down for a moment and let the bleeding stop. Then I can have a look at it again to make sure we got everything out,” I said.
“I need to clean up,” she said. Her eyes flickered towards the livingroom and I was afraid she would start to spiral again.
“Hey, sweetness, how about you sit down and have that glass of water you wanted and I’ll make sure to pick up the broken glass,” I suggested and cursed at myself in my head for calling her by that name again. It just rolled off my tongue, as natural as anything.
“I can’t let you do that,” she objected.
“It’s fine. I barged in here and upset you after you already had a visit from the detectives. It’s the least I can do,” I insisted as I guided her to the couch, making sure she stayed clear of the shattered glass. “Sit and keep pressure on the compress.” She sank down.
“Thank you.” I just gave her a smile and went to get her water. It took me a moment to find where she kept the glasses. When I came back, she was sitting and looking down in her lap.
“Here you go,” I said, handing her the glass of water.
“Thank you,” she said, taking the glass. She took a sip and then held it with both hands. I started collecting the glass from the carpet. Something felt off. Sure, there were detectives that could be dicks, but Danny would not allow his men to be forceful enough to drain Hana the way she seemed to be. I didn’t think my visit would cause that kind of response either. There was more to this story. I considered if it was my place to pressure her to tell me, but I had a bad feeling that all of this was due to Simon. So in a way it was my business.
“I know I asked you this before, but are you sure the detectives didn’t go overboard?” I asked as I put another piece of glass on the coffee table. I could see Hana tense up.
“N-no, they were fine,” she said. I scanned the floor a last time and determined it was free from glass. I sat down next to her, a little closer than before. She didn’t shy away and I hated the sense of pride that flared inside me.
“There is something you’re not telling me, sweetness. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what the problem is,” I told her and took her injured hand.
“Why would you help me?” she asked. It was a reasonable question. I wouldn’t have offered my help usually, not for free and not without knowing what the issue was. But I told myself this was because of my son. It was a nice excuse.
“I have a feeling this is all happening because of Simon. It’s not fair that you are left to clean the mess,” I told her as I lifted the compress and studied her palm. I let my thumb glide over her palm, telling myself I was feeling for additional glass splinters. I was telling myself a lot of fairy tales tonight.
“Even so. You yourself told me you aren’t close with him,” she said. I glanced up at her and she was watching me intently. I shrugged as I reached for the bandaid I had brought with me from the kitchen.
“He is my son. I have some responsibility for him. I wasn’t there when he grew up. His mother and I split up and I spent most of his childhood deployed all over the world. It’s partly my fault he grew up to be the person he is,” I told her and wondered if I had hit my head recently. Since when did I open up to someone like this?
“That is honourable of you. But I don’t think there is much you can do.” She looked so tired and defeated I wanted to pull her into my arms and promise that everything would be okay, that I would protect her. Okay, I really needed to tap down on that protective streak before I did something I would regret.
“I don’t know, I own half of HopGar Security,” I told her. She gave me a blank stare and I chuckled as I put the band aid in place. “Look at me trying to impress you and you have no idea what I’m talking about,” I teased. I was rewarded by a tentative smile. A smiling Hana was even more dangerous to my coherent thoughts than a sad one. I knew I would be in trouble if I stayed. The smart thing would be to make an excuse and leave. Well, I wasn’t known for my intelligence. “Me and my best friend own the biggest private security firm on the west coast,” I told her. I could have let go of her hand, it was bandaged and done. But it remained in my hand. “I can handle most trouble, so tell me and let me help you.” She hesitated, gnawed on the inside of her cheek and then looked at me.
“When the detectives were here, they asked if I knew a man called Otto Aksakov,” she told me and I couldn’t stop the tirade of curses that escaped me. She looked at me with surprise. “You know who he is.”
“I do. He’s the leader of a local mafia family. Big trouble, with connections to other organisations across the country and rumours say even in his motherland,” I told her. She paled and I couldn’t blame her. “Did the detectives tell you Simon was involved with him?” I asked. She shook her head.
“Not outright, but it was implied. And…” She stopped talking and closed her eyes.
“And what, sweetness?” I asked, gently rubbing my thumb over her hand.