4 - Deck
What cannot be said will be wept. – Sappho
Dean smiled at her husband as she bumped the door with her hip and pushed through the door. She had felt his eyes on her the whole time that she walked away from the table and had to look back at him before walking out to their friend.
The cool breeze off the lake hit her bare legs and she regretted wearing such short shorts. But grateful for the oversized Tulane sweatshirt that she wore.
The wind was not this cold when she was out here earlier with the baby. The storms from this morning had moved out, but it looked as though another round was now moving in. Dark clouds were forming in the sky and the bright sun seemed a lot dimmer now.
“Cooper?” Dean said softly as she approached him.
“I’m sorry, Dean.” he said softly, refusing to turn around. “I should not’ve…”
“Coop.” the soft whisper of his name had him stifling a sob. Badly. Her heart broke at the strangled sound.
She sat the drinks on the bar just below the ledge of the railing and put her hand on his arm. When he didn’t shake her off, she gently turned him to face her. It took a little bit of work and coaxing, but he eventually faced her.
“I lost my mom last year.” She told him softly as she linked her fingers with his. “January was the one-year anniversary. My family, God bless those assholes,” she smirked, “they kept me busy all day. All week, actually. I was constantly surrounded by people and noise and … well, everything.”
“But at the end of the day, I went to the house that she raised me in, and I was surrounded by her.” She squeezed his hand, and he smiled in understanding. “In the silence, I could find her. I needed both. I needed to be surrounded by the crazy, loudness of my family.”
She reached up to brush the tear off her cheek, but his thumb was already there. A light touch of calloused skin against her smooth cheek.
“And I needed the silent memories of my mom.” Dean whispered. “You had your silent reflection, let us be your noisy distraction.”
“Can I hug you?” he asked quietly, and she nodded as she stepped closer to him.
Her arms slid around his neck, and he wrapped her up in his arms. Cooper buried his face in her neck and gave into the tears. His whole body shook with the strength of his sobs. She held him to her and let him cry. Refusing to give him empty promises and hollow words, she gave him something else instead.
“My mom hated Psalm 23, to the point that she had promised to haunt the preacher if he allowed it to be quoted at her funeral.”
Cooper chuckled through his tears.
“He even told everyone at her funeral that they better not even think about quoting it.” A small laugh escaped her. “He said that he was a man of God, he didn’t need to explain to people why he was being haunted.”
“She was an artist, like you.” Cooper whispered. “For years I saw her with charcoal and pastel on her hands and fingers. In her last few weeks, her hands were clean because she hadn’t been able to do any art in so long. Her brother, Tenn, and I colored her hands the day before she died.”
He shifted away from Dean and lifted his shirt to show the handprint over his heart. It was done in the watercolor style that dripped down like tear drops into a colorful puddle.
“It’s beautiful, Coop.” she touched the black fingertips that were barely visible under the raised shirt.
“Tenn. He couldn’t live without his twin.” Coop swallowed hard. “Left us a year later.” His voice was soft, but the anguish was strong.
“Oh, Coop.” it wasn’t sympathy in her voice, it was understanding.
“Their parents were killed in a car wreck the day after you all left Gulfport.”
Dean wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed herself against his bare skin.
“I was the only one there this year.” His arms wrapped around her again and he rested his chin on top of her head. “They’re all together, and I’m left here, alone.”
“You’re not alone, Coop. Not with this crazy ass family.” She gave a small, dry laugh. “Never with this family.”
“I’m not…”
“Yeah, you are.” She smiled at him, her chin resting on his chest. “I claimed JD. JD claimed you. Therefore, you are part of the family. There’s no escape.”
He chuckled and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Thank you, Dean.”
“You’re welcome, Coop.” she shifted and rested her cheek against his chest. “Will you tell me about her sometime?”
He took a deep breath, sighing it out roughly. “I would love to tell you about my Tabby.”
“Good.” Softly whispering the single word response, she closed her eyes.
Enjoying the silence and comfort of one another as they were both lost in their own memories. Memories of her mother flooded her mind’s eye. Their trips. Strange holiday traditions – valentines day wedding dresses. Easter ‘egging’ yards with plastic eggs filled with toys and candy. Reverse trick or treating where they gave candy to whoever answered the door they knocked on.
She had only done one since her mother died. But she planned to do more of them with JD. Her mind created future memories and she could see them as if they had already happened. A few children popped into a few – a boy and a girl. And then another boy with pale green eyes and dirty blonde hair.
They stood there for several more minutes in silence before another knuckle touched Dean’s cheek, catching a silent tear. Opening her eyes, she looked at the hazel eyes of her husband and smiled.
“Would you two like to join us?” JD asked with a grin. “Or do you want to hang out in the wind?”
As if to make his point, a gust of cold wind whipped around them, and Dean shivered. That was the reason she assured herself. It wasn’t the feeling of being wrapped in one man’s arms against his chest while her husband stood close by with a hand on her back and the other on her cheek.
“We should get her inside.” Cooper’s voice was thick, and she shivered again.
He pressed another light kiss to the top of her head and then stepped back, letting her slide out of his arms. Releasing his neck, she slipped her arms around JD’s waist, sliding her cold hand under his shirt.
“Damn, woman!” JD scooped his wife up in his arms and cursed again at how cold her legs were.
A few fat drops of cold rain fell around them as they dashed to the door. Cooper opened the door for his friend to go through. The three of them were under the metal awning covering the doorway as the sky opened and deck was quickly covered with rain.
“The drinks!” Dean cried as she suddenly remembered the glasses that she had brought out with her.
Chuckling, Cooper looked over where they had been standing, unable to see the railing through the sudden downpour, much less two drinks on the railing. “They’re a little watered down, I think we need new ones.”
“Reese is probably already ordering new drinks.” JD placed Dean on her feet just inside the doorway.
He was right and the waitress was placing three new drinks at their spots along with a tumbler of whiskey next to each one. As the trio reached the table, other waitstaff walked out with large trays of food. Neo stood up and walked around to where Dean was sitting back down and placed his leather jacket on her lap.
“Looking at the goosebumps on your legs are making mine cold.” He admitted just before returning to his seat next to Jolene.
Dean laughed as she tucked the jacket around her and then reached for her whiskey. She didn’t drink often, but Reese and Helen understood that there were times that a drink was needed. To calm the nerves. Bolster one’s confidence. Provide some courage. And to warm the body from a sudden cold rain.
No matter if the rain was a physical one like what was falling outside. Or an emotional one that the two orphans just experienced. It would warm both the body and the soul.
“You three got plans for tonight?” Helen asked.
“I was informed that I haven’t lived until I’ve seen Frankenstein with George Karlaftis.” Cooper said as a steak and baked potato were placed in front of him.
“Boris Karlof.” Dean replied as the redfish and steamed vegetables were placed in front of her. “Really?”
JD just grinned. “Berry chocolate lava cake with ice cream and no strawberries.”